What should I do?

Today was the 15th day of my browsing and reading various comments, experiences in this website. Completely surprised, shocked and disturbed after going through the experiences of ex-bks, particularly of ex-l, audacity, alladin, rayoflight and many more.

Finally, I also decided to share my experiences ... first, let me request you to please bear with my English.

My BK life started 12 years ago when I was 26, in a total hopeless and depressed state. I did the 7 Days Course with one of the BKs of my age. I felt happy that this world is going to end soon, and now it is only a matter of 2-3 years. (At that time the predicted year was 2000 to 2004).

I did not think too much about GOD at that time but their friendly behaviour, spending life alone, sweet talks, spiritual family, serving humanity ... all these things appealed me and I decided to become one of them. I actively participated in their events and functions, going to Madhuban once every year to meet BapDada, and became a regular student. During first 2-3 years, my stage was at peak (intoxicated).

Many things happened in these years. This year in particular, some events pulled me down and I’m again in the normal stage (rather, below normal stage). Now after 12 years, my stage is again confused. Today, I am living a life of an awful, unmarried man, doing job for my livelihood. Not able to mix with people. Daily going for job, doing my work, eating, and coming back home, not planning anything for the future, not planning to get married either (how dare I ... ?). (Perhaps waiting for December 2012 ...)

I almost lost interest in teachings of BKs as they seem to be very deceptive and confusing. I am not at all comfortable with the BKs and centre in charge. Though ours is a small centre with only 4-5 sincere BKs. They are noticing my stage but not interfering, and guiding me. They are just silent observers playing their roles.

What should I do?
What should I do to pass my time?
What should I do for my old age ... (if Destruction doesn't happen by that time)?

Now, at 38, I have suddenly realized that many doors of opportunity have closed permanently - and the biggest source of bitterness is that I sacrificed my adult life for nothing worthwhile at all - I am left with just a terrible sense of disappointment, frustration and an unspoken grief.

Where has my life gone? I can never get those years back,

What should I do?
What should I do?

Your advice will be highly appreciated. Like others, this site served as a life saver for me too ...

Regards

Hi Parmeshwar ...

My sincere condolences but also my congratulations. Look forward to the light, not backwards to the darkness. Turn around and see the day. You will be OK. Shake the dream away, you are awake now.

It is funny, in my day it was Destruction in 1986, then 1986 to 1996. I wasted a decade living in a half-life of "what if?". Please do not go there.

Then, talking to PBKs (the revisionist BKs) I discovered without any doubt that 1976 was the sure date for Destruction according to BapDada. None of the leaders told us or made it clear. They lied to us and covered it up.

Then, after coming to this site and being inspired to discover more ... I discovered that the sure date for Destruction was going to be 1950, or even WWII. No one in the West knew about this, nor that there was no God Shiva in the religion from 1932 to around 1950. They lied to us and covered it up.

Is this the way of God?

For all we know, you could be hit by bus and die tomorrow ... or live on to be 100. We cannot know. So I think, at the very least, you ought to plan a life "down to earth" and get on with it unless the Brahma Kumaris are going to give you some written assurances that they are going to look after you in your old age. And you should start a revolution amongst BKs demanding that IF you are going to give your lives to the Brahma Kumaris, they give you a WRITTEN AND LEGALLY BINDING GUARANTEE that they will look after you in your old age.

If they refuse, then you know you are being conned.

One thing you cannot do now is carry on inducing others to believe in the same - updated - illusion. It would destroy your soul to do so.

God is still truth. Truth is still God. It is not the path of the Brahma Kumaris which has become one of social climbing, slick marketing, historical revision and plain lies. There is my truth. It is true or not?

I cannot tell you what to do. What do you want to do? What does your heart and head say to you?

Despite it all, I think there is still hope. I imagine that there are actually many Brahma Kumaris who are ready and wishing they too could leave The Knowledge. If not, many mature women who would deeply respect a man with sincere spiritual intentions ... even if he had been deceived. ESPECIALLY if he was wiser from having been deceived.

Personally, I can only promise you one thing ... you will become stronger, life will become more interesting and you will become a better a philosopher with age. The BKs are not unique. From having gone through their experience, you have learnt much about all of life, other religions, how cults grow into cultures and so on. You can also use it to become a better person, taking what is right from that experience, and discarding that which is wrong. Leaving the BKWSU is life being re-born again ... which I choose to leave as an open statement.

Before you do go though, try and take as much information with you as possible, in order to help others. Many that choose to believe appreciate copies of Murlis that the BWKSU refuses them. We here would appreciate a record of your honest, detailed opinions and experiences. Use the forum as your diary or exiting if you want.

Good luck ... !

Thanks ex-l for your reply

Today I was thinking why at all I joined the organisation?

I recall my talks with the BK Brother who taught me 7 day course. I remember I asked him a question. What is the aim and objective of this organisation? Why God established yet another Organisation?

He replied, the aim of organisation is to transform the ordinary (Shudra) soul to Brahim, then angel and finally the diety. God needed an instrument, a platform through which the message of 'GOD'S ARRIVAL' can be spread So, he started this UNIVERSITY. I was convinced at that time.

Now after 12 years, I see back and analyse his words.

A UNIVERSITY : (Web Definition: Establishment where a seat of higher learning is housed, including administrative and living quarters as well as facilities for research and teaching).

A university is supposed to be a place of teachings what ever it is meant to be. Before admitting in the university, it tests the quality and nature of the candidade whether he fits for its teachings or not. If they found the candidate is not fit for their teachings, they tell him not to get admission and show him the way which can suit his qualifications or expertise.

Here they don't bother about admissions. They go on admitting people (PRAJA) and do not even care to tell rules and regulations (Maryadas) in the begining. They are least concerned about the individual, that what will happen if he continues here and suddenly decide to leave. What effect their teachings will cause at the subconcious level of the individual? Will he be alright to face the real world again? I have seen many young boys and girls happened to come in contact, staying, listening to their knowledge and become totally negative about their future plans, marriage etc. They drop every thing all of a sudden, knowing that the world is going to end soon.

A UNIVERSITY always tell its students about the forthcoming examination date (at least month), so that the students get ready by that date and perform well in the examination.

Here, they are not ready to tell the final date (being failed in earlier predictions, now it is sure that they themselves do not know). They give the excuses, that if the date is told then students will become date-conscious instead of soul-conscious. "So be EVER READY because exam can be taken at any time" ... right from this moment to another 5000 years .

16 wings (as far I know) through which the message is being spread. The purpose of the wings is just to attract people towards them. To come to their centres. To become their Praja. They just want that let people get the introduction of their God. Not wasting their valuable time to tell all the Maryadas in advance. (Even the Kali Yugi university prints all rules and regulation to be followed in their prospectus).

I, myself, was very much hesitant to tell others about their Maryadas, because I was not following all of them. The guilt of which I was accumulating for all these years. I was hardly able to speak with others, killing myself inside because of terrible guilt. For all these years, there was only thought of Destruction in my mind. I strongly adopted the line of Dadi Janki that being to see every thing destroyed. So I never asked them any question regarding the teachings. I went on following what they said.

Recently I learned, through this site only, that their splinter group also exist in the form of Shankar Party, Vishnu Party and so on.

During these years I was told that, after all the religions founder soul's arrival on this planet, finally the Supreme Soul comes in and destroy all religions and establish one diety religion. I was shocked to learn who are these new souls? What are their intentions? If intentions are not right why is the almighty authority is not stopping them from defaming his authority?

There are many questions marks arising but at least here I want to apply a FULL STOP. Otherwise I will go crazy and no one will bother.

Only I want to know if ...

Is any harm in continuing their meditation. See yourself as a point and take the power from almighty Beejroop. It relaxes me much. Should I continue this practice?

Regards ... !

I have seen many young boys and girls happened to come in contact, staying, listening to their knowledge and become totally negative about their future plans, marriage etc. They drop every thing all of a sudden, knowing that the world is going to end soon. ...

For all these years, there was only thought of Destruction in my mind. I strongly adopted the line of Dadi Janki that being to see every thing destroyed. So I never asked them any question regarding the teachings. I went on following what they said.

This BK mental technique ... of an imminent and desirable End of the World ... is the key element which encourages and allows the amoral Brahma Kumari attitude towards exploiting followers for money and free labour, and deceiving non-Brahma Kumaris - especially governments, important people and VIPs.

If it is "all going to be destroyed" you have no responsibility to others and may as well use as much of it as you can grab. We think many of the BK leaders are wishing and begging for Destruction just to put an end to their lives.

The Life of a Brahma Kumari follower in 10 short seconds ...

a newcomer enters the BKWSU and they are told about Destruction,
they start "Spinning The Cycle" and "Running after Service", then ...

I hope you laugh but behind the humour is a terrible sad realisation ... the generations and generation of individuals - particularly young people (as I was myself) - that have been sucked in by these deluded and deluding con women. Confidence tricksters.

Personally, I think Janki is the worst of them. For them, their Guru-of-gurus ... their "milk cow" (from whom who so much of the VIP and business cash flows) ... for me she is just willful, addicted and pathologically dishonest. She has, over decades, allowed them to falsely represent her and hidden all of the failed predictions and historical re-writes. Within their system, she has even bent, broken and recreated the Maryadas to suit her self.

And here you see the keystone of their manipulation, get people to believe in 'The End of the World' ... compress their ambitions and expectations to "two or three years" ... and then you can get lots of free labor and money out of them. Simply put. After a few months, most individual are addicted; after a few years, they are entirely socialized to their system ... for many, especially the young women who have given their dowries etc, given up family, there is no way out, no way back.

Is any harm in continuing their meditation. See yourself as a point and take the power from almighty Beejroop. It relaxes me much. Should I continue this practice?

Have you tried any other meditation to make a comparison?

The meditation is a psychic connection to the spirit from whom all of this system has emerged, or the spirit of this community. Why would you want to? It is hard to believe it is "God".

We have often questioned here whether it is giving or taking energy from its followers? It seems to me to give for a short while, until individuals are addicted, but then starts to take and keep demanding more, for the rest of the BK's life.

There are many ex-BK who still carry on the meditation, there are ex-BKs that carry on the meditation and all or part of the lifestyle to suit themselves. There are also people calling themselves "Global BKs" who remain believers but leave the corporate insanity of the BKWSU. You can find them on the internet also.

But the big question to decide upon in your mind is ... was that "God"? If not, who or what was it?

But the big question to decide upon in your mind is ... was that "God"? If not, who or what was it?

Who can that be? I cannot answer! If we stop believing that it is not supreme. Where could we concentrate our intellect? After all we have to believe on something. Our prayers, worships were also based on our beliefs.

What is wrong in considering the Supreme Soul as our Father? BELIEVING that he is ocean of Knowledge, Power, Peace, Love, Happiness, Bliss, Purity and then connecting your self in thoughts with it, and let its power flow in to you. That's what I understood ...

I was reading one of the topics from classic posts "Who is Shiva Baba? A Question of Faith"

we had found the real God and that made all the difference. All apparent contradictions, shortcomings or omissions were irrelevant and paled into insignificance when measured against that one fact. Such was our faith.

We started beliveing that this point is real God, and for the sake of its love and bliss, went on tolerating every thing what they said. Now. What next ... Should we stop every thing?

Have you tried any other meditation to make a comparison

Do you mean to say that their way of meditation is an automatic process of pulling one in to their beliefs and system? And after pulling in to their system, real sucking starts? If is it so, then I agree with you, otherwise I am worried about after so many years of following this path, how can one suddenly forget every thing and switch over to other one. Even if I starts new one, then there will always be chances of mixing up the two ... increasing more confusions?

Who can that be? I cannot answer! ... What is wrong in considering the Supreme Soul as our Father? BELIEVING ...

My favourite analogy at this point is to liken it to an advertisement for some domestic product ...

9 out of 10 housewives cannot tell the different between Product X and butter!!!

If 9 out of 10 housewives cannot be trusted to tell the different between Product X and butter, how the hell can we expect them to tell the difference between one disincarnate spirit being and another ... between an archangel and a Demi-God, for example ... You get the idea. What grounds do we have to judge the god spirit of the BKWSU at all?

We know now that for about the first 20 years of the history of the BKWSU, from 1932 to around 1950, there was no God Shiva in their religion. No mention at all. It was all "God Brahma" pointed at Lekhraj Kirpalani. We have no idea who, how, when or why they introduced a God Shiva. All we know is that it has been covered up and lied about ever since.

Is that good grounds to believe it is "The God" ... is that the way of a "Supreme Soul"? For me, the biggest confidence trick ... and audacity ... of the Brahma Kumaris is to supplant their god, or god concept, on top of all other Gods, or god concepts. It, and their path, appears to cap an individual's spirituality and keep it subject to theirs and their "god".

Despite all the wonders and miracles, which I will not deny, BapDada falls far short of a Supreme God for me.

Yes, OK, they can do x wonders and y miracles ... but that is all. Turnaround and look at the rest of what is going on ...

Even if I starts new one, then there will always be chances of mixing up the two ... increasing more confusions?

It is a gamble ... could be more confusions, could be more clarity, could be freedom. Basically, the idea you are expressing here is a typical and archetypal one often spoken by individuals schools or teachers which, of course, do have an interest in protecting themselves.

Trust your own experience ... suck it and see.

Hi because.parmeshwar and welcome to the Forum.

I have been 26 years with the BKs but I have now lost the faith that it is God speaking the Murlis. Who is it? Most likely Brahma Baba is there but is there another soul/spirit/entity? I do not know but I do question whether there is any reality to the concept of God other than it being a creation of the human mind.

It does not however prevent me from having a nice time in meditation concentrating on God as a point of light or thinking about "I am a soul". When I do that I never feel that I am at risk of being sucked under the influence of some kind of malevolent entity.

I did like the feeling of certainty that was mine when I was a believer. Thinking that I knew the truth about the self, God, the nature of time, etc, was very reassuring. The moment I lost the faith that it was God speaking the Murlis, I also lost faith in The Knowledge. It could have been disorienting and destabilizing but it was not. Somehow, being left with the only certainty that I do not know anything felt like liberation to me, like coming out of the darkness and into the light.

Hi all,

Since I left the limited and twisted BK thought pattern and opened my eyes, my understanding of Divine and Divinity deepened and my comprehension widened.

Now I am understanding countless Layers of Light Side and countless Layers of the Dark Side. I am understanding further that each Layer of Light Side must have its own Divine. Even Emptiness must be Divine.

There must be countless Ascended Masters, Heavenly Saints, Healing Angels and countless Ascended Souls in each Layer of Heaven. All ready for our call to help each one of us.

There must be of course Dark Souls in the countless Layers of the Dark Side from which we should be aware of. But I am understanding also that Ultimate Divine must be in charge of both Sides. Both Sides must have their own tasks until one day they unite.

May Ultimate Divine bless all members and readers of this forum with Love and Light in the New Year.

I have been 26 years with the BKs but I have now lost the faith that it is God speaking the Murlis. Who is it? Most likely Brahma Baba is there but is there another soul/spirit/entity? I do not know but I do question whether there is any reality to the concept of God other than it being a creation of the human mind.

Thanks Bkti-pit for your reply,

Of course the concept of God is a creation of the human mind. We, the Hindus, were taught to see God every where and were happy and spending our lives smoothly. What a common man need from his life? A simple, peaceful life with enough amount of material. That's all ...

We found God wherever we need him, We've seen him in Ganges, Himalayas and on every corner, wherever there were temples, mosques etc until we got the introduction of BK God (real GOD?)

After finding BK GOD we were asked to drop all earlier beliefs, as GOD himself is teaching through this university, and telling that he is not omnipresent, and you can find him here only. Destruction is very near so hurry up ... ! OK, OK, please accept us ... was our reply.

We started following, and got caught. Gradually they started convincing us to follow Shrimat (Celibacy [remain single], pure food, not mixing with shudras, surrendering every thing). We went on accepting all their rude behaviour, inconsistencies in teachings, as we were also told that this is the matter of only 3-4 years (Destruction is round the corner).

With time we also learned that God started talking about status. Status in heaven. I never understand what God has to do with the status. Our earlier beliefs told us that God is merciful for all, no matter what his status is. I asked this question to one of the senior BK in our centre who was very good person, he told me that by status, God means the power you have accumulated in your soul by doing meditation. OK, accepted ...

With time we observed that the people with high status (materially) started joining the BKs. And we became the Sevadhari (humble sevadhari, good sevadhari, senior sevadhari etc). Our role became to perform seva to 'The Bigs'.

In the recent Murlis, God himself is asking to go to The Bigs (microphones to spread message).

In future, God himself will say ... The Bigs have done Big Seva of spreading the message and they became last so fast. So they became bigger and biggest.

You do Seva because you found real GOD ... leave it ... Again to our concern !

What a common man need in life? Even if he find the real GOD (if exsist any) what will he ask?

12 years passed, Today I am finding my self alone. Loneliness is killing me inside. Not able to meditate, not able to mix with them, not able to mix with people out, going to workplace and seeing people enjoying everything, festivals, birthdays, marriages small-small achievements.. They are coming together in any body's griefs, some times they are talking nonsense but laughing ... They are critisizing but helping. They are fighting but also dancing together.

For about 2 years, I am in pain ... It becomes irrelevant that HOW God is Guiding to the person in pain, through Murlis or through any thing else, all that matters is he is guiding, and helping.

The site has given me some relief for about 20 days ...

What next? I don't know ...

Regards.

You are not alone Parmeshwar.

What ever happens, you will remain a philosopher and truth seeker type because you were before you entered the BKWSU. It is how they hooked you. You will likely remain a server too, only your "service" will become more subtle and discrete.

I am short on time today but can I ask, have you read The Prophet by Kahlil Gibrain?

I spent the whole Sunday (yesterday) reading through various posts in this website. I couldn't stop my tears sheding from my eyes and I really felt very sad after reading the posts of suicides, depression, living in the misery in and after BK life. I really appreciate, "the well in time warning" to sukhi and meghna which definately saved them from the terrible guilty conciousness (of sukhi) and escaped from miserable life (of meghna).

I started wondering after facing such experinces how a soul can enter in to the Golden Age? Really amazing nonsense.

I heartily salute and want to put a question to the people who have made this site. Why is this site discovered for? This site is definately solving very high and meaningful purpose of saving the life of people who were believing themselves as life savers, light house, path shower, liberators, torch and much more ... Also this will be very helpful for the people who are planning to devote their whole lives to BKs (like Meghna).

My request is just not to stop here only. It would be great on your part if you document (in the form of books), all these sufferings and experiences of so many posters, and if it is distributed to the existing BKs (the data can be collected by some source). I am sure all the sincere ones will definitely find courage to break the chains and becomes free. The BK teachings are really painful for many. Those who are running the shops only will remain to go to heaven. They should be really send to heaven at the earliest ...

Thanks and regards.

Welcome because.parmeshwar.
I wish you quick and painless healing. Life does go on and 38 is young. Don't be discouraged. It takes work to break the chains but it is really worth it. Look forward to the beautiful life that awaits you.
Best wishes for a very happy new year!
rayoflight

Hi

I am currently going through a bad patch, my suicidal leanings are returning and I am developing serious mental health issues around simple relationships. I am still at a loss to know where I can find any relevant help, without having money.

I was abused financially whilst in there, which destroyed my faith in a very disjointed and painful way.

I really hope things are easier for you.

I am currently going through a bad patch, my suicidal leanings are returning and I am developing serious mental health issues around simple relationships. I am still at a loss to know where I can find any relevant help, without having money. I was abused finacially whilst there which destroyed my faith in a very dis-jointed and painful way.

Thank you Mr. Green for your post,

But I really did not get what do you mean? I want to know more about you.

Dear Mr. Green,

I don't think we need money to get help. Ask the Divine if you feel, or the Soul of the Ocean, the Soul of a Mountain you love, the Soul of a Tree you like, or the countless Souls of all plants around you to give you blessings and a feeling of Light and Love, and sing a song from your own heart just like all indigenous folks do. And, for Heavens' sake, don't touch any alcohol or similar things these days ... Just continue singing your own song until you shake out all dark things. You are a shaman. We all are ... It is a New Year's beginning. All suppressed feelings and wounds are coming out and hurting.

I will think of you and am sending you blessings of friendship and solidarity on my own way. Please hold on dear friend.