What should I do?

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alladin

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Re: What should I do?

Post29 Dec 2009

And, for Heavens' sake, don't touch any alcohol or similar things these days ... Just continue singing your own song until you shake out all dark things.

Hi,

I don't know why Tom felt inspired to write this reminder. I have plenty to share on the subject, but will do it some other time on some other topic (or open one dedicated). All I want to say for now, is that dark energies certainly find an easy way into the soul who is careless about protecting itself, and defiantly uses drugs and alcohol. Then, no wonder there are fluctuations, and very big ones!!!

I totally agree that we are Shamans and this is why dark forces love leeching on our vital lymph. It is a "point of self esteem", to see oneself as a wise Shaman, inside we know what we have to do, and how to get the" life giving herb" we need, attaining it from our inner resources, from friends like our Forum ones, if no one else is physically around, from something we read ...

Xmas and New Year is often a tough time for everybody, including lokiks. Lots of rush, preparations, expenses, expectations, disappointments, tensions, you name it! Very crazy energy all around! So, nothing new!!!

Mr Green, don't you often travel, this time of the year?? Are you tied up or depressed? If you are just a bit broke, start saving and as soon as you can, go in the sun, do a lot of swimming and enjoy some papaya juice ;), best recipe for me, and I'll join you if I can!

Love

A
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ex-l

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Re: What should I do?

Post30 Dec 2009

because.parmeshwar wrote:But I really did not get what do you mean? I want to know more about you.

Mr Green has written elsewhere about what happened but the BKs ... right up to the top leadership giving "Godly Shrimat" on financial matters ... milked him financially. Like they do to many.

Brahma Kumaris repay follower $31000 after abuse allegations.

because.parmeshwar

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Re: What should I do?

Post30 Dec 2009

Can any one explain a bit about Shankar PARTY, Vishnu Party and others if any?

What was the need to branching out further? Who was responsible? What were the intentions?

Is Destruction ever going to happen? Is Diety Kingdom ever going to be established? Or this sort of misguidance will continue?

I am losing faith almost from all.

    too much confusion ...

    too many babas ...
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ex-l

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Re: What should I do?

Post30 Dec 2009

because.parmeshwar wrote:Can any one explain a bit about Shankar PARTY, Vishnu Party and others if any?

You can ask them yourself ... here (bk-pbk.info).

I think the PBKs were an Indian reaction against the indulgences, lack of understanding and corruption within the BKWSU. They are at least attempting to reconcile the MANY, MANY inconsistencies within the teachings and behaviour of the BK movement whereas the BKWSU just tries to cut them out, ignore or cover them up. I think they do have many good points to make in some areas, and in general their understandings are more metaphorical rather than literal, but I don't buy into the whole big picture ... which includes the acceptance of a different Chariot of God. They really should just admit the failure of the teachings and spirit guide, move on.

Then you get 'the-reaction-against-the-reaction', PBK 'hate groups', and what look like fairly obvious attempts to set up a 'religious business' using BK words and targeting the BK movement. There are also numerous other individuals claiming to be a reincarnated Lekhraj Kirpalani, or the Chariot of Shiva Baba ... they are more probably suffering from a severe mental illness.

The funny thing is ... the BKWSU hates with a vengeance the PBKs and have had a nation wide policy of suppressing them which includes physically manhandling them, beating them up, tearing down posters and denying them their democratic rights to promote their religion doing exactly what the BKWSU does. Ditto, the splinter groups like the Vishnu Party hate the PBKs and have tried to conspire to destroy them too because, in my interpretation, they are copying the PBKs and aiming at the same marketplace of disaffected BK adherents.

because.parmeshwar

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Re: What should I do?

Post01 Jan 2010

A scrap from Suicidal BKs ... and she never made that call. I understood subsequently that she called the wrong people.

I remember, once after doing seva, I suddenly started crying and shouted loudly, blaming our SS about the role she is playing and, out of frustration, a warning of my suicide came out from my mouth. The Senior Brother handled me well, but the opinion of Sister made me more worried the next day ...

Next day, she commented that if you kill yourself it will be the greatest disservice of Baba as people would start questioning us ...

Through this site, I can understand that at times we take the support of wrong people?

P.S. I need one clarification, is it suitable place to make posts? I'mean should we continue making posts which do not match with the topic or should we start a fresh topic every time?
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ex-l

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Re: What should I do?

Post02 Jan 2010

because.parmeshwar wrote:I ... shouted loudly, blaming our SS about the role she is playing

That is a strange mental construction. Not yours but one the Brahma Kumaris have programmed you with.

It was her. It was not "the role she is playing". She has responsibility.

'She' did it. 'She' had a choice. 'She' chose to do what ever it was. Never mind all this, "Baba touched the soul to do such-and-such". We have to keep real ... they did it.

So what did they do? Please allow us to understand.

Thank you.

because.parmeshwar

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Re: What should I do?

Post02 Jan 2010

Physically or orally they haven't done anything bad. But deep inside I was feeling cheated. Their way of signaling (Subtle Region language), I couldn't understand, which made me panic several time. I felt they are enjoying my state. I noticed, they are enjoying my panickedness. I am not sure what were there feelings for me?

From that incidence, I started losing everything.
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tom

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Re: What should I do?

Post02 Jan 2010

because.parmeshwar wrote:Their way of signaling (Subtle Region language)

What does this mean because.parmeshwar? I have been for many years long a teacher and responsible for various centers, and I belonged to the inner circle. I don't know what you mean with this.

What have they done to you? What have you allowed them to do to you? Some human beings - when they have power and opportunity, can enjoy mentally and physically torturing the weak ones whom they should take care of with love. Such people are everywhere. These are poor and sick beings who need therapy.

So I hope that you leave them behind, including all BKs and Centers, and forgive them for their ignorance.

For rejuvenation and healing, and to gain energy and joy for your present and future life, you need to cut ALL relations with the BKs.

I wish you a great beginning of your new happy life in the New Year.

because.parmeshwar

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Re: What should I do?

Post02 Jan 2010

Perhaps this was my inner feeling, that they are signalling about my behaviour and enjoying my state. In fact, I was never a perfect follower of Shrimat, so I was always on the lower side, and somewhere inside I was weak and insecured. I don't know ...

But one thing is sure that they were least bothered about me, and also I never felt comfortable among BKs. This was only because of the talks of Destruction I stayed (staying?) there, thinking that they are the only ones where I can survive.

I was now wondering how I started believing in all there teachings? Why their talks of Destruction within 2-3 years did not sound funny to me, when I was new? Why did not I planed about my career, my marriage, etc ...
you need to cut ALL relations with the BKs.

This is really tough, throughout these years I was talking everybody about BKs. I developed the Image of BK in our society and relatives. How can I suddenly take the "U-turn".

Suppose if I stop going there, then what will I do in my spare time?
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tom

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Re: What should I do?

Post02 Jan 2010

b.parmeshwar,

Good for you that you are so honest,
This was only because of the talks of destruction, i stayed (staying?) there, thinking that they are the only ones where I can survive.

I have known many so called BKs, whose main reason staying there was that, but they never had the courage to confess it.

You know now that destruction is not going to happen as the BKs say, or if many turmoils will happen as the world is going through tough times, the BKs will have just like other human beings no protection against natural and social disasters.

Good for you that you have been not following Shrimat. So it will be easier for you to accommodate yourself to the lokik life.
Why did'nt I planed about my career, my marriage, etc ...

Good question. Now you can make plans and accomplish with resolution. It is not late yet. It was late for some of us. We payed heavy taxes for our stupidity. Now you have this forum and you can rescue yourself from BK web.
I developed the Image of BK in our society and relatives. How can I suddenly take the "U" turn.

You don't need to give detailed explanations. I never gave my lokiks the opportunity to blame me because of my stupidity. Be sure, your friends and family will be so happy for you seeing you enjoying your new life , they will prefer not to ask much.
if i stop going there, then what will I do in my spare time?

You must have understood until now, that BKs are not a charity, nor a hobby club.They are a cult sucking all of your joy, mental- physical health, happiness, energy and money if you stay there, and living off their luxurious guru-style-lives. The big and small Seniors always talk behind BKs and gossip about their stage.

For a real adventure and to gain self esteem, you can do anything now, feel free, you can help starving people, help cancer children or start hiking, join courses to learn some handicraft. Then I assure you, you will never ask anybody such questions about your own life.
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alladin

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Re: What should I do?

Post03 Jan 2010

About "not feeling comfortable among BKs".

One of the common reasons could be that if you are a sensitive, spiritual person, a yogi soul so to say. You will pick up vibrations from people and, if you are a truth lover and authentic, you will instinctively react to hypocritical attitudes in others. Especially in those who try to pretend to be angels and high up in the BK hierarchy.

One reason for discomfort, could also be the mistake of comparing yourself to others and feeling that you are not good enough, you are not serviceable enough, your degree of purity and surrender is not one of the highest ...

It is a shame that in the so-called "Spiritual Family", in order to just survive, fly high without being shot down by envious folks and conscious/unconscious bad wishers, one has to pay so much attention and invest so much energy in order to protect the self!

bkti-pit

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Re: What should I do?

Post03 Jan 2010

tom wrote:The big and small Seniors always talk behind BKs and gossip about their stage.

It is indeed a very common behavior amongst the Seniors. On the other hand regular students are expected not to discuss amongst themselves about their ethical discomforts with the lack of honesty, etc, of the leadership.

because.parmeshwar wrote:This is really tough, throughout these years I was talking everybody about BKs. I developed the Image of BK in our society and relatives. How can I suddenly take the "U-turn"? Suppose if I stop going there, then what will I do in my spare time?

Do not worry. Life has plenty to offer besides the BKs.

BKs might think that you have been swallowed by Maya but what does it matter what they think? Everyone else will have a good opinion of your honesty and courage and your ability to change your mind and change the course of your life.

In have experienced super sensuous joy, when I decided to follow my conscience and refused to be manipulated by other people's beliefs. This is true freedom.
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swordofjustice

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Re: What should I do?

Post03 Jan 2010

I've written a post for this thread, because.parmeshwar, and I am still going to post that. But I've just read through the thread more closely and I want to say that yes, one can go to people who have nothing to offer or worse, are wrong in what they think. That Senior Sister you went to badly mishandled your communication. She is not a proficient leader. She is too harsh. She did not respond to your distress with support, care and empathy.

She is probably doing her best, she is probably a sincere BK trying to follow the teachings. But that does not mean that she was not wrong in how she responded to you. She is likely very cut off in her feelings. She appears to have little maturity in her following of the spiritual life. It is *not* meant to be a blind dogma, I swear!

Forget about Destruction. You want to know something straight from Sakar Murli? Leave any point that you don't like or distresses you.

Love and good wishes to you, my friend, wherever you are. I hope my longer post helps you in some way.

Cheers,
Peter
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swordofjustice

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Re: What should I do?

Post03 Jan 2010

First, let me wish everyone all the best for the New Year that has come to us. I had a good holiday from my work. Just sat around and relaxed actually. :-)


I've read your post, because.parmeshwar, and I feel very moved to reply. I see that many have already done so. I hope you're not swamped with advice or information yet! I think what I am writing here will be useful for all ex-BKs as I read the same thing over again on this forum about leaving BK Raj Yoga.

I have been in a similar place to yourself. I was in Gyan 20 years ago and left after about two years. I, too, had a tough time after leaving. The posts on this forum really touch me inside as I share so many of those experiences: confusion, questioning, having difficulty adjusting to life outside BK life.

Now that I am 43 years old, with determination and the help of professional counselling and so much more life experience I, personally, have come very far. I now have a decent life. I have a good job, a decent career that is progressing, an ever growing sense of self-esteem. I really feel like the best years of my life are yet to come.

My hope is that I can offer you worthwhile advice that may help you in your journey with the greatest of empathy and my good wishes. Once I've written that, I'll then explain something that may surprise you and many others who come to this forum.

Depression is a tendency that lives within some of us. Not everyone is afflicted with it (fortunately); it's a personality thing. It has become so much more widely recognised as an illness in the mainstream health care fields of the modern world. And this is good thing. Feel comforted in knowing that many people suffer from this, some to greater degrees and some less.

When we come to BK Raj Yoga, we bring all our baggage with us. Despite the initially wonderful intoxication and spiritual experiences, there is no magic wand and what we bring with us is still there inside. I know you must have experienced feeling lost and depressed before becoming a BK as you've written that in your post. I can empathise and relate as it was exactly the same for me. I was depressed, naive, lost, confused before becoming a BK. And guess what? During and even afterwards too.

But take heart. Realising this, you can now start to properly address something that without question needs to be addressed within yourself.

Let me explain a great secret to you and everyone who reads this thread. Life is good! Life is meant to be happy and good, a pleasant experience. And if we are in a balanced state, it is that way naturally. So what you have to do now, is find ways to live life in a constructive and healthy way, and deal with this underlying depression that has held you back from the natural happiness of life. I'll give some advice and suggestions below, drawing on my own experience. I hope this helps and gives you some concrete ideas.

I call this a secret, by the way, because the above holds true whether you are living a BK life, or a non BK life. Imagine that? Life is meant to be lived well even if you adopt a spiritual focus and live a dedicated religious style of life. More on that in a moment.

SUGGESTIONS AND ADVICE:

- Don't be ashamed or isolated because of how you feel. Many people are the same as you (like me).

- You can change your life for the better. You get out of bed every morning? You go to work? Good! You have capacities and capabilities. You can exercise those and change your life.

- Professional counselling is priceless. Having a calm, sympathetic ear to listen to and shoulder to lean on can make all the difference. You still have to do the work to take your life in a new, better direction but having support is crucial.

- But "shop around" and find a good one. Signs of a good counsellor: professional, lots of certificates from counselling courses, empathetic, no personal agenda other than your emotional well being, open minded. As a former BK, it really helps to find a counsellor who is very open minded to spirituality and religion.

- Watch out for doctors or health care practioners who are judgemental and might put you down. Some are still less than enlightened regarding depression. Always "shop around".

- If you cannot afford or find a professional counsellor, or you live in a part of the world where there is no such thing, find someone kind and open minded who might be supportive to you. Maybe a good priest?

- Take any emotional support that is present in your life. Family, friends, colleagues. Good wishes and support are priceless. It is nothing more than a very foolish mistake for BKs to cut themselves off from the people that care about them. How many of us have made that mistake, huh?

- If you have any people in your life who are naturally upbeat and cheerful then hang out with them. Maybe some of their outlook and character might brush off on you.

- Try to mix with people again. Forget whatever you might have had as BK principles. My counsel to all ex BKs across the world is to have a new aim when you leave Raj Yoga: just try to live a decent life and be the best person you can be. As simple as that.

- I stayed vegetarian when I left BK life, so I am not saying you have to stop doing something like that. I believe it is a positive and healthy lifestyle choice.

- Find some hobbies. When I became a BK, I ditched all my hobbies and interests. Very silly of me. Sports are good. Local community courses are wonderful.

- Try to find some outlets apart from work. Find some nice people to mix with. By the way, just because you've left Raj Yoga does *not* mean you have to go down the pub to get drunk with everyone just because they do that. Pick and choose your company. There are plenty of spiritually minded people in the world.

- Think positively. This is so, so, crucial; I cannot stress that enough. Depression is caused by such an ingrained, systemic negative thinking that it becomes this dark feeling that seems to come from nowhere and seems so immovable at times. It may take sustained effort and much counselling, but once you start to think positively, you will find life goes more easily, you have more happiness, and you get more positive responses from people. This then becomes a self reinforcing, positive cycle. Counselling helps especially with this.

- Guess what? Positive thinking is an essential foundation of living a decent life. And here's another secret. This is true whether you are living as BK life or non BK life.

- What are some ways to start with that? Here are some seeds, some positive thoughts. You were a BK and left it, huh? Well it was spiritual and your intentions are good. So it's far from wasted time. You are on a life journey and you're now moving into changes. That was part of your journey. You are a good person. You have much to offer the world. You're moral, and deep, and dedicated. I can tell that even without meeting you.

- Build your self-esteem. You should be able to write down your four top strengths on a piece of paper, no problemo, and look me or anyone else in the eye and list them confidently. You can do that, cannot you? ;-) It's taken me 20 freaking years ... but now I can do it. Those affirmations you find in well meaning, spiritual self help books never really did much for me, but no harm in giving them a whirl if you like.

- Have good will to the world. Good will comes back to one in my experience. It's not the answer for depression as such, but having a generally good willed nature certainly is a good way to live.

- If Raj Yoga causes you pain to think about and is part of the depression, feeling isolated, etc, then ... FORGET ABOUT IT. Speaking from personal experience, you can actually come back to the topic of Raj Yoga later, but only if you should choose to. FORGET RAJ Yoga IF IT'S TOO PAINFUL. At least for now.

- But being bitter is not healthy. Believe me, I know. It's not good for you, for your own wellbeing and health, and it does not put out a positive vibration to the world at large. If you do have problems and concerns with Raj Yoga or anything else in life, do it with a calm feeling. I find being open minded and calm the best state to travel through life.

- By all means, question everything. I you feel something is not beneficial to you or in your best interest, then of course you should leave it. This is basic life stuff.

- There is no place in life for guilt. Ever! As a BK or as a non-BK.

- There are other spiritual groups and paths that might be interesting to you. You can always explore those. Do it with wide open eyes though. There's plenty of frauds out there. Plenty of genuine spiritual healers, etc too. Meditation is a universal thing too. You don't have to be a BK to do it. There are different styles, of course.


So that's what I can offer in practical terms. Now to write something that may surprise many readers. Doing the above, I believe that you have in fact actually implemented 50% of the teachings of Raj Yoga. Positive thinking amd the attitudes I've outlined are actually core parts of Raj Yoga. Believe it or not. :-)

Hold back your machineguns for a moment. Think back to BK workshops and classes you might have gone to. What were those topics exactly? Self-esteem, contentment, good will to others, weren't they? I believe positive life attitudes are all there in those BK workshops, and in the Murli too.

I also believe that people who become BKs make so many fundamental life mistakes while becoming BKs. Much thinking that does not stand up to scrutiny is passed around by some practising BKs. Not all, mind you, but enough for it to be a concern. As I said, we all bring baggage and there is no magic wand coming into Raj Yoga. I've heard some ridiculous comments bandied around by so called BKs. Like putting people down, saying people are dirty, weird comments about menstruation and sex, etc. Does anyone believe that God is a negative being? No? Well how could a real BK spread negative feelings around then? Is that good wishes as mentioned in morning class?

No, of course not. Souls bring baggage, and saying wrong things is just a mistake made according to someone's personal baggage. The thing is, in life I have to discriminate and judge what's right and wrong for myself, don't I? So I don't have to take on board something wrong a BK might say.

I make no secret of the fact that for me, personally, after twenty years of my life story, relationships, situations, etc, and finally working hard on myself to find a better life experience, I find I am genuinely interested in BK Raj Yoga. I do it with full life experience now, and much greater personal maturity. I'll post more in the coming weeks on the forum.

Feel free to engage with me in those threads. I suspect many people would be itching to shoot down what I've just said. I am more than happy to take your responses and explain my viewpoint, but I'd like to leave this thread directed at because.parmeshwar and his reaching out for support and advice on finding life difficult right now. Let's respect that. You can bash me in separate threads. I certainly want to post some responses to posts in this thread about things like destruction, etc.

My heart really aches reading the distress that souls who have been in Raj Yoga have gone through. Lifetimes spent in secret guilt for not following Maryadas, emphasis on destruction of the world, and the rest of it. I would sincerely take away all the pain in this sad old world of ours if I could, and the pain of ex-BKs that I myself went through ... but, of course, that's not how it works.

I can, however, offer some hopefully calm and rational words about all those topics given the fact that I've been twenty years away from "Brahmin conditioning", and have been through it all myself.

Please understand that I also accept some criticisms of BKs and Raj Yoga, including senior figures, as genuine and grounded in fact. Some, but not all. I've certainly seen senior figures in Raj Yoga make mistakes. There is nothing to hide from in this.

Anyway, if Raj Yoga is too much or you find it distressing, then of course you should do something else with your life. To Mr Green and all ex BKs everywhere, never, ever, ever give the thought of suicide or extreme hopelessness the time of day! You can always just aim to live a well balanced normal life and that's more than enough. Follow the good advice that some people post and get counselling and help yourself to deal with what is an illness of the mind.

@Mr Green

Like Tom posted, just hang in there buddy! Some counsellors might offer you a discount. Do you get unemployment benefit? Please post more about yourself. Rest assured there are those that care about you.

Cheers,

Sword

because.parmeshwar

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Re: What should I do?

Post03 Jan 2010

Thank you very much to all for your posts. You really changed my stage from :oops: to :D. I assure all of you of my continued services to the benefit of mankind ... (of course after healing myself first ...).

Thank you once again.
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