Hello,
I write this post a little heavy hearted this morning. Today I have decided never to have anything to do with my local BK centre again. This has been a decision a long time coming and one that unsettles me on one hand but feels right on the other.
I have been attending my local centre for about the last 5 years. In that time, my attendance has been sporadic as I struggled to come to terms with what I was being taught there. My questions began during the initial course surrounding The Cycle and this became something that lead me to constantly question what I was learning.
Despite this, I always felt an incredible connection to the divine at the centre and have always been driven by the experiences I obtained during drishti. If I am honest with myself this is what kept me going and, of course, the friendship and camaraderie I felt with my Brothers and Sisters. These aspects I will miss greatly. I have no doubt that the people at my centre are very sincere honest people who truly believe in the path they are following and, try as I may, I have not been able to follow in the same direction.
In recent times, I had been talking to several BKs about my struggles and received various levels of advice. Some advised me to ignore the finer details regarding The Cycle, time, dates and to focus in on the central 'vibe' of what was being taught. Others recommended focusing on the tremendous energy that is generated at the centres. These were comforting words, as this is essentially what kept me attending over years, but in the end it hasn't been enough to justify continuing my association with the BKs
Over the years, I have had periods where I attended morning class regularly and this would be fine until I would hit one of those curly Murlis that really challenged me on so many levels. This usually centred around the constant denigrating of other spiritual paths and how eagerly these views were accepted by the Brothers and Sisters in attendance. They seemed to have no trouble at all denigrating other sincere seekers and their chosen paths. I guess the Murli I attended this week was the last straw, with this same message being taught and repeated. There are many other issues that have challenged me on many levels and I guess the above is just an example of one of them.
I feel comfortable that my spiritual journey now lies in another direction. During the last 6 weeks or so I have dedicated myself to finally making a decision one way or the other about life as a BK. I have attended class regularly and been earnest in endeavours to resolve this one way or the other. I felt disturbed and unsettled as the truth began to emerge but I pushed forward to achieve an end result. The end result of this process is a resolve that this cannot continue any longer. I feel a bit sad today but know that I have done the right thing :).
I write this post a little heavy hearted this morning. Today I have decided never to have anything to do with my local BK centre again. This has been a decision a long time coming and one that unsettles me on one hand but feels right on the other.
I have been attending my local centre for about the last 5 years. In that time, my attendance has been sporadic as I struggled to come to terms with what I was being taught there. My questions began during the initial course surrounding The Cycle and this became something that lead me to constantly question what I was learning.
Despite this, I always felt an incredible connection to the divine at the centre and have always been driven by the experiences I obtained during drishti. If I am honest with myself this is what kept me going and, of course, the friendship and camaraderie I felt with my Brothers and Sisters. These aspects I will miss greatly. I have no doubt that the people at my centre are very sincere honest people who truly believe in the path they are following and, try as I may, I have not been able to follow in the same direction.
In recent times, I had been talking to several BKs about my struggles and received various levels of advice. Some advised me to ignore the finer details regarding The Cycle, time, dates and to focus in on the central 'vibe' of what was being taught. Others recommended focusing on the tremendous energy that is generated at the centres. These were comforting words, as this is essentially what kept me attending over years, but in the end it hasn't been enough to justify continuing my association with the BKs
Over the years, I have had periods where I attended morning class regularly and this would be fine until I would hit one of those curly Murlis that really challenged me on so many levels. This usually centred around the constant denigrating of other spiritual paths and how eagerly these views were accepted by the Brothers and Sisters in attendance. They seemed to have no trouble at all denigrating other sincere seekers and their chosen paths. I guess the Murli I attended this week was the last straw, with this same message being taught and repeated. There are many other issues that have challenged me on many levels and I guess the above is just an example of one of them.
I feel comfortable that my spiritual journey now lies in another direction. During the last 6 weeks or so I have dedicated myself to finally making a decision one way or the other about life as a BK. I have attended class regularly and been earnest in endeavours to resolve this one way or the other. I felt disturbed and unsettled as the truth began to emerge but I pushed forward to achieve an end result. The end result of this process is a resolve that this cannot continue any longer. I feel a bit sad today but know that I have done the right thing :).