Help Needed for my Brother

for ex-BKs, exiting BKs, Friends & Family of BKs and newcomers to the forum.
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bkti-pit

Independent, free thinking BK

  • Posts: 509
  • Joined: 14 Jun 2007

Re: Help Needed for my Brother

Post27 Feb 2010

From another topic:
bhupendra wrote:25 long years ... BKTIPIT how did you managed yourself after coming back? I request you to read the , "HELP NEEDED FOR MY Brother" topic and kindly advice us about the future life after leaving the organisation.

He wants to go with the meditation, and following disciplines of the Yagya, but not ready to go to centre as the BK circle is not suiting him.

Is it possible to continue the disciplines of Yagya without being involved in the organisation?

For me, the transition was very smooth and natural but it has also been a lengthy process.

I had been living in a Center for a few years when I began to feel unsatisfied with my life there and began to consider the possibility of moving out from the Center and adopting a more independent type of BK life, one that would be more in tune with my humanitarian ideals. I kept thinking about it for a number of years and when I finally took my decision nothing could have shaken me off my path.

In the meantime, I had come to know about this site. The information I found here forced me to reconsider my beliefs. My sense of truth would not let me reject the evidence that the BK teachings were not originating from God but I did not rush to a conclusion. I took the time to ponder on it and it is only a couple of years later that it became obvious to me that I could no longer hold my old beliefs.

At that point, I had already adopted my new “free BK” life and I had distanced myself significantly from the structures of the organization. It was a well-matured decision and it has been a very easy transition as well as an enjoyable experience.

I eventually stopped reading the Murlis but I have otherwise maintained the basic BK lifestyle (celibacy, satvic diet, early morning meditation) and I do visit the Center occasionally. The transition from BK beliefs to no beliefs is not completed yet. I am still processing internally but it is all happening very smoothly without any struggle.

I am aware however that not everyone’s exit is easy.

Concerning your Brother, it is definitely possible to keep the beliefs and practices whilst staying away from the organization. He will probably not be able to get Murlis tough if he does not go to the Center. If that becomes an issue for him you can tell him that we have a collection of Murlis here, a few hundreds of them.

I think it is good if you respect his beliefs and not insist that he marries. Try to keep regular contact with him and let him feel that you care. He may or may not accept food prepared by you or your family but he would probably accept tea, fruits and nuts. Try finding out from him and inviting him for tea or for a meal.

Does he like children? He may not want to marry but he may enjoy being an uncle. Try creating opportunities for him to be amongst his nieces and nephews. (Just make sure he is not brainwashing them with the BK beliefs!)

What were his interests before he joined the BKs? Arts? Sports? Education? Philosophy? Try re-awakening that in him. Invite him for an activity connected to his areas of interest. Or see if he would be interested in some creative hobby or getting involved in some volunteer work for the needy.

But do not be pushy. He may just need some time alone for now. But let him know that you care and that you are available for him.

And keep us updated!

bhupendra

friends or family of a BK

  • Posts: 10
  • Joined: 07 Feb 2010

Re: Help Needed for my Brother

Post27 Feb 2010

Thankyou Bkti-pit for your reply,

He is recovering and recovering positively. We as a whole family are really thankful for all your support and courage.
BKTI-PIT wrote:He may or may not accept food prepared by you or your family but he would probably accept tea, fruits and nuts. Try finding out from him and inviting him for tea or for a meal.

He started accepting food with us on occassions, last week, we had our traditioal religious ceremony, in which he participated religiously.

At present he is meditating for hours, gets up early and sits in meditation for hours together in the morning and in the eveining.

We had a good talks with him regarding marriage too. It seems that he is ready internally, but hesitates and is shy to open up completely. Below are his words.

    “After spending life as a BK it will be difficult to spend a married life”
    “At the age of 40, it is not easy to get good girls”
    “An ex-BK would be fine, but from where we can get it?”
I suggest you, to add a feature of “MARRIAGES OF ex-BK TO ex-BK” through your website service, we would be happy to become your first client. :D :D

I am happy that at least he has not lost the way completely. Regarding his settlement, we are putting efforts. let's see ...

Thank you once again ...
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