Living alone after stepping back from BKWSU life

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nischaybuddi

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Living alone after stepping back from BKWSU life

Post24 Feb 2010

What are your intentions?
His intentions are seva.

What would be my intentions after spending 40 long years in this organisation. No ... “SEVA” ... I am now fed up of this word. I am not doing any kind of seva for past 2-3 years. They organise exhibition, lectures, seminars, but I never attend, participate and do seva.

I cannot say that I was deceived, because the experiences are enormous and many. I cannot deny your saying that Destruction is the thing which has been given emphasis over and over again. Till date I was also in this assumption that Destruction is going to happen soon. I do not know how individuals believe thinking that Destruction is very near and what makes them feel like this?

Until I discovered this site, I tell you, not even a thought touched me that this is not a god’s work. Yes ... your site compelled me to think ... to think much ... it shook me and shook me hard ... but tell me, how can I go back putting questions to this Gyan when I have covered such a long journey? I take it in a way that this is Maya’s trick to test the faith of an Individual.

BECAUSE NOW I CAN NOT AFFORD TO BREAK MY FAITH AND COME BACK ON THE NORMAL PLATFORM.

To tell you about my life story, I never never went beyond a certain limit being in Gyan. Certain limit means, the limit up to our centre in charge and that’s all. I never questioned about the upper level of management or leadership. I think this is the only reason to still continuing in The Knowledge. Of course, the differences of opinion are always there with the co-brothers, but I’ve seen so many coming and going. They never stayed.

Presently I am alone, totally alone reading Murli myself, doing my lokik work and again in the evening alone. You will call me sanyasi but this is my destiny and how can I avoid it?

I never thought of this life, being in this organisation, I’ve seen many Brothers and Sister joined our organisation, and went away. But I’ve never heard of any disturbance or psychic influence happened to them as your website describes. Perhaps you will say that nowadays, so many centres are being opened, so why not I too live in a center after devoting such a long period for the organisation? But I can’t mix with them. This is my nature, and I really feel pain being alone, how long can one remember Baba, and then you can’t do other work or what normal people do.

You must have noticing, this post a bit of difference, not in favour of Gyan

But being ALONE is killing me from inside, I cannot turn back. I have to keep the light of faith burning till my death. May I ask you? Is there any individual spending his life alone? Without lokik or alokik family? How is he surviving in this big world? At least being in Gyan you can have some relation with the GOD Almighty.

Tell me where I am wrong and what I have mistaken?
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Mr Green

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Re: Science greed will always cause panic

Post24 Feb 2010

At last my friend you are showing your true feelings.

Many if not most of us were alone on leaving Gyan, leaving Gyan is a very painful and lonely process but is the only way to move forward. I lived alone for years and only recently have been able to have real relationships with others

You will not be alone we will help you in your journey.

Thank you for sharing you heart.

dreadi

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Post24 Feb 2010

nischaybuddi wrote:... You must have noticing, this post a bit of difference, not in favour of Gyan
But being ALONE is killing me from inside, I can not turn back. I have to keep the lit of faith burning till my death. May I ask you? is there any individual spending his life alone? Without lokik or alokik family? How is he surviving in this big world? Atleast being in Gyan you can have some relation with the GOD Almighty. Tell me where I am wrong and what I have mistaken?

Yes, nischaybuddi, reading these words of yours in this post there is indeed a feeling of difference. However, from my side, I let the interpretation of such 'difference' rest peacefully within your motivations. Om.

Rhetorical question: G-O-D of my faith or God of someone's doctrine? The Hansa Raval topic comes to mind.

Take care nischaybuddi
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ex-l

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Re: Science greed will always cause panic

Post24 Feb 2010

I am sorry if I was hard on you when you were having such a difficult time. I had no idea. I cannot reply to you in full now. Perhaps someone else can.

Take care of yourself (... no one else will).
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desi_exbk

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Re: Science greed will always cause panic

Post25 Feb 2010

nischaybuddi wrote:I can not turn back.

Looks like you already did! We wish you well.

nischaybuddi

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Re: Science greed will always cause panic

Post26 Feb 2010

No ... There is no need to console me, I am still going ... The phases of thoughts come and go, and I strongly feel that all of you are good souls, once (I believe still now) are sweet children of Baba. Time is changing ... and changing fast ... I will not be surprised, if many of you (I wish all of you) will again turn back and walk on the path of Baba ... The true path ...

Thank you for consoling me.

Omshanti
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ex-l

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Re: Science greed will always cause panic

Post26 Feb 2010

nischaybuddi wrote:This is my nature, and I really feel pain being alone, how long can one remember Baba, and then you can’t do other work or what normal people do ... But being ALONE is killing me from inside, I cannot turn back. I have to keep the light of faith burning till my death. May I ask you? Is there any individual spending his life alone? Without lokik or alokik family? How is he surviving in this big world? At least being in Gyan you can have some relation with the GOD Almighty.

Well, thank you for the honesty and openness of your response. As Mr Green says, it does express the complication of your current situation and your true feelings, and all of us here will respect that greatly.

Most, or all of us, have been in exactly the same situation.

All of us here do recognise the typical BKWSU-style brainwash, or propaganda≤ and will react against that. We have seen behind the project and know very well what the projection is ... because we used to project it ourselves. So, if we have responded negatively, it is not towards YOU but to IT.

In my opinion, it is a real "pain". That is to say, human beings are meant to be social, flexible, group or family orientated and Brahma Kumarism has interfered with that. It has used the false "imminent Destruction" scenario to excuse some unforgivably crimes against individuals and their families. Cutting off all those parts of the self, those natural desires hurts the human aspect of us.

Are you male? Obviously, the Brahma Kumari religion is not set up to look after old males in the same way as old females who can adopt to center life. Obviously, the whole Brahma Kumari religion never considered the whole aspect of individuals retiring and old age as they have been believing in Destruction being two or three years away for 70 years. Obviously, the leadership know this and are turning a blind eye to the problems they are facing.

Again my time is short today and this is a serious question many face. Of course, many, many, many BKs just step aside from the ridiculous atmosphere of the centers and the increasing mega-corporated approach. They keep their faith and practise it their way silently, and be happy. Doing good as best you can if wonderful. Personally, I saw beyond the limitation of the Seniors a long time before I left, I just got sick of all the chasing after VIPs and rich people. It was not my idea of Godly religion.

Just recently, I have been thinking about what is the 'Karmic mechanism' that makes following their orders karmically 'more valuable' and just plain old fashion good karma. Obviously there is no magical BK karma machine. It is rubbish. So your "karma" is between you and God. Do your own karma in "god consciousness" ,and if you want the idea of reward, it is yours. Even better ... have no consciousness of reward as Religion teaches us.

Doing your own karma ... walking your own path as Lekhraj Kirpalani did ... teaches you YOUR OWN lessons. Lessons you need, not lessons they think you need, nor enslaves you to their money box. I argue that "to follow the Father" means to do what Lekhraj Kirpalani did, not to be a slave to someone else but to find one's own religion.

In truth, I think that pain is because you are not following your heart. One part of you is telling you how much you are hurting it. You have to follow that pain to find your way out of what is wrong for you.

I, am sorry to say, but I also think that "pain" will stay with us for our lives leading us and guiding us to what we should be doing and where we should be ... if we listen. It will become less the more we listen and follow it successfully. Killing it. Silencing it. Blocking it out ... wont work. You have to listen to it.

Unfortunately, with all respect to all of the good religious aspects of Brahma Kumarism, we all know that Brahma Kumaris has developed into a mind control cult. That there are many yuktis applied just to keep, controlling and exploiting individuals for as long as possible.

It has lost its path. So you should have no fear about losing it. Create your own path and don't listen to their stupidity. If you wish to try to serve them, and you think they are truly worth it, then do so but, alternatively, feel free to try other lives of service which will fulfill you better.

My answer to that pain is to find something to do ... a "project" ... a mission of your own. Something obviously good and practical which ordinary down to earth individuals will be grateful for. Their gratitude will fill your heart again.

In my opinion, Brahma Kumarism is a one way path ... one way in that you give out to the organization and their god but nothing comes back. You might get just a little, enough to keep you addicted, but you are bleeding yourself dry for an insane false dream. One that is now being "re-manufactured" by nothing any more spiritual than marketing men and women. Not even real gurus.

As human beings, we have to be part of complete loops in which we give out and we receive "life blood" back just like farmers who sow, reap and then recycle waste to feed the next years crop. It has to be a complete cycle.

You are older now, you have probably given lots to the BK company, but a creative interesting life is still possible. India gives you many opportunities to help others and it is easier and more open than many other countries. You could even find a partner or some other partners to live and work with.

Try helping and teaching children, environmental projects, there are terrible problems with sex trafficking and prostitution of young girls. Try living in a world that is not covered in the darkness of Destruction where other people are still thinking of a positive future and enjoying life. Share their hopes and enjoyment.

Even if it is futile ... even if Destruction does come ... I tell you it will be a better life until then.

And if you do have to do BK service, do it being honest about all the problems, difficulties and controversies. In fact, sorting them all out would be good work to do.

nischaybuddi

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Re: Living alone after stepping back from BKWSU life

Post26 Feb 2010

Murli wrote: Leaving Baba means, 100 times feeling of punishment
Mr. Green wrote:Many if not most of us were alone on leaving Gyan, leaving Gyan is a very painful and lonely process
Ex-I wrote:Most, or all of us, have been in exactly the same situation.

because.parmeshwar wrote:
For about 2 years, I am in pain ...


It means Baba is right, and so his Gyan, the deity kingdom, the 84 births, the heaven and moreover 5000 years cycle is also right?
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ex-l

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Re: Living alone after stepping back from BKWSU life

Post26 Feb 2010

nischaybuddi wrote:It means Baba is right, and so his Gyan, the deity kingdom, the 84 births, the heaven and moreover 5000 years cycle is also right?

No, it does not nischaybuddhi. That is false logic, or a "logical fallacy" as it is known. In fact, a number of false logics.

What it means is that it hurts humans to lose their family and life is difficult with no family. We are designed to be in families, which is what the BKWSU exploits the concept.

Once one has lost one friends, family and ordinary life, to them lose the false BK "family", leaves one with nothing in life. Life starting from nothing is tough and requires hard work to regain. Sometimes it is impossible to regain.

    One punishes oneself for one's stupidity.
    One punishes oneself with regret for losing life and throwing away opportunities for simple happiness and personal development, e.g. home, career, family etc.
    One finds it extremely difficult to find help because, generally, there is little sympathy for idiots who got sucked into cults...and so on.
    Change "hurts". Actually, it is not "hurt", it is just change, like the breaking of a scab on a wound when one heals.
None of that relates in away way to what the fear based teachings of the Murli state. They are repeating other religious programming in Hinduism, Islam and Christianity that have placed seeds of fear of God, Destruction and Judgment (Daram Raj) in the minds of adherents. The "100 times punishment" is meant for at Daram Raj. Not leaving Gyan.

All techniques used by religious elites to control and exploit followers.

You should not take simple sentiments of empathy ... kindnesses ... to be 'hard evidence' of the End of the World. There are great feelings attached to actually leaving ... ONCE ... one has made the decision, moved on ... and CLOSED the door behind one. It is a release, like being born again, a huge weight off one's shoulders. A lot has to be with finding one's power again after having lost it.

This is a rough theory but I think the pain and regret happens in the gray period between/before making the choice. It is like purgatory or 'the Bardo'. Once one is across the river, there is no looking back. I always encourage people to make the decision and move on. Not to live a half and half life. Actually, even Lekhraj Kirpalani says this in other places.

I think the logic in the Murlis is awful. They are so contradictory, and have been so chopped and changed, that they could mean anything to anyone.

When I first missed class, I got a letter from the center-in-charge telling me I would "cry tears of blood" and make a noise "like grinding mustard seeds" when Destruction came. Destruction was meant to have happened in mid-1980s.

because.parmeshwar

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Re: Living alone after stepping back from BKWSU life

Post26 Feb 2010

Take a rest Nishchaybuddi, Give me your address, I'll come to stay with you ... to begin a new life ... I am ready. Are you?

Meanwhile listen this path showing song ...

clearernow

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Re: Living alone after stepping back from BKWSU life

Post21 Mar 2010

nischaybuddi wrote:But being ALONE is killing me from inside, I cannot turn back. I have to keep the light of faith burning till my death. May I ask you? Is there any individual spending his life alone? Without lokik or alokik family? How is he surviving in this big world? At least being in Gyan you can have some relation with the GOD Almighty.

Tell me where I am wrong and what I have mistaken?

Dear Nischay,

You are just stepping back I think which is good for you as it will give you more clarity for your future path and shaking/testing your faith in the divine source is a fruitful exercise rather than turning a blind eye to organizational practices.

My only advice is that you should not be feeling alone. You have spent 40 years with that sweet connection with Divine and that's what you should trust. You have been so loyal and surrendered from your heart to God that as a child you have every right to his love, care and protection for the rest of your life. So, whatever you do, whether to be deeply involved with organization/BKs or stepping back is your choice but do not feel lonely at this stage and have unshakeable faith in the divine source.

As a human being, we also need fulfilment of relationships though and God can fill that void more than any other human being on earth.

Best wishes
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ex-l

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Re: Living alone after stepping back from BKWSU life

Post22 Mar 2010

Clearer,

you use words like "God" and "Divine" reaffirming the Brahma Kumari dogma ... but what you really mean are the channeled entities, or spirits, that operate behind the BKWSU. "BapDada" at best.

There is no promise, or guarantee, that they and "God" or the "Divine" are one and the same thing. The likelihood at present, on the basis of their track record, is that they are not. They may be magical, they may even be super-human, but that does not mean that they have to automatically be "God".

Within this context, "The Divine" has become one of those words taken by the Brahma Kumaris are a kind of secret code that when spoken to outsiders can deceive outsiders whilst be recognised by other BKs. "We" know what you are talking about. "They" don't and are deceive by the BKs into thinking what the BKs are talking about is the same as other religions.

It is not.

It would be go to be clear about the differences.

I think Nischay is being honest about what you get to after 40 years of emptying your life and wallet into the BKWSU ... and it is not too late for him to turn his life around and do something more fulfilling. Like a toothache telling to go and see a dentist, this pain he feels is the intuition shouting out to him to go somewhere else and do something. Not to listen to it will probably be the spiritual death of him.

because.parmeshwar

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Re: Living alone after stepping back from BKWSU life

Post22 Mar 2010

ex-I wrote:There is no promise, or guarantee, that they and "God" or the "Divine" are one and the same thing. The likelihood at present, on the basis of their track record, is that they are not. They may be magical, they may even be super-human, but that does not mean that they have to automatically be "God".

It seems that the senior Brother and Sisters KNOW that it is not any GOD, but are some different entities, and hence they turn to be so bossy over others, and particularly on those who have passed the age of marriage or have become totally dependent on them. They are using this organisation to run their super business. The in charge SS must be knowing that the talks of Destruction is nothing but the illusions in which they themselves are trapped and since they can not escape out so they keep on trapping others in order to sustain in the organisation ... What a fool-proof system ... wow ...

I am interested to know, particularly from Nischay, if any BK may honestly come out saying that he has conquered all the vices after doing intense Yoga for so many years, and is totally free from the vices of lust, anger ... or has only suppressed the feelings by staying away from the normal world ... And again after entering in the normal world, he has to suffer the terrible burst of all these vices which makes his life miserable and traumatic. Yes ... it is 100 times punishment ... Not because of leaving the cult ... but because of the foolishness of suppressing the normal human feelings for so many years ... and then suffering the terrible feeling of venting these emotions with a very bad and dirty smell and that to ALL ALONE.

I asked this, though I know typical BK answer ... "No one is perfect as yet ...".

clearernow

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Re: Living alone after stepping back from BKWSU life

Post23 Mar 2010

ex-l wrote:you use words like "God" and "Divine" reaffirming the Brahma Kumari dogma ... but what you really mean are the channeled entities, or spirits, that operate behind the BKWSU. "BapDada" at best.

There is no promise, or guarantee, that they and "God" or the "Divine" are one and the same thing. The likelihood at present, on the basis of their track record, is that they are not. They may be magical, they may even be super-human, but that does not mean that they have to automatically be "God".

Hello Ex-I,

I understand where you are coming from. I have been experimenting on this a lot in the recent past as this is a fascinating exploration to me. After leaving the BK path for years, I feel the same connection, same intensity, same support, love, care, warmth, relationship ... and so on from whatever that source is.

From the day one of my BK days, I have always maintainted that connection and it has only worked positively in my life. I have never had any experience or Vision of Dada Lekhraj or other spirits that can prove to me that its him and not some other source. Yes, you are not sure whether its God, Dada Lekhraj, spirits or whatever ... But to me its a fascinating connection that even when my wallets are not exposed to the organization and not in the BK circle anymore for more than 5 years, it continues to help me and bring purity and positivity in life.

What does he want from me? Is he tricking me? I am carrying my free will and am absolutely sure I am not being controlled. Also, it has never ever harmed me, or pulled me strongly into BKs or pulled money. This is how one develops faith in life- isnt it? We are brought up as Hindus, Christians, Muslims and are given a faith to believe from childhood.

We do not question or experiment in Lab but we believe and when we mature we understand whether the faith is working or not and start exploring. Its time for my evening meditation and believe me even before I have started, the sweetness of that vibration is already around and I can practically feel it. So I am very clear about carrying on with that connection till the time I find a more beautiful connection, God or whatever.

Thanks and Good wishes.
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ex-l

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Re: Living alone after stepping back from BKWSU life

Post26 Mar 2010

clearernow wrote:So I am very clear about carrying on with that connection till the time I find a more beautiful connection, God or whatever.

To be honest, I cannot argue against what you say because I know where you are coming from as well ... just please don't destroy the rest of the world and nuke 6,000,000,000 as you leave the room! :shock:

I guess that is the problem for me ... all the craziness, the stupidity, the false predictions and failed millenarianism which the god of the BKWSU has done nothing to dispute or dispel. Right up to this year, we still keep getting the "end is near and you will inspire Destruction (End of the World" line. Nor has he even answered in a proper, mature and intelligent manner why all the failed prediction and why the 74 years of Confluence Age when it was meant to be 12, then 40, then 50, then 60 ...

To be honest, "to test the children" or "to encourage the children" is really not good enough for even a benign megalomaniac in charge of a multi-multi-million dollar international business.

So, I am forced to fall back on my spiritual hard ass stance that such emotive experience, sensual even, are of a lower and addictive order relative to real spirituality ... at least to the next level of spirituality. Perhaps even they are still on the chemical-emotional ... your Pavlovian response to the meditation hour being a possible example.

I remember how addictive the pull was but, I will be honest, due to the moral, ethical and intellectual failings exampled above ... and the organization nature it produces, I have to see it as a lower of psychicism and I do not trust it. I cannot trust it.

I suspect for most socially or psychically addicted BKs, they could not care if Destruction comes or not. If BapDada cames along one day and threw it all out, they would not question. As long as their needs are met and the chemical reaction still works, they will just re-adapt to it. That is one of the strengths of Hindus but also a weakness which the entities might be exploiting. We can only wait and see.

If the world truly bad enough, or hopeless enough, to want to annihilate?
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