I am Hanging

It does get easier. All the supportive advice is great and you are not alone. You've got a tough time ahead of you and you'll need help. If you can, find another ex-BK who might help you deprogram. I had a lot of help from one person during the first eighteen months and it did make the path easier to tread.

Above all, there's no going back - once you see the cage for what it is, you might think you can step back in it, but you'll soon realise that's not possible. And don't worry about falling from the fiftieth floor (not fifth floor as quoted elsewhere on this site - did not you guys read your Murli notes???) - just take things slowly step by step. You have the rest of your life ahead of you.

And don't worry about falling from the fiftieth floor (not fifth floor as quoted elsewhere on this site - did not you guys read your Murli notes???).

From hanging to falling ... It is all BS really. I rather say it was like getting up from the other side of the bed and finding the world was sunny and alive again.

I tell you what though, in my day it was the 5th floor. Perhaps they up-ed the odds especially for your center. What on earth was going on!

It is all BS really.

BSWSO.

I really enjoyed your post enlightened, it's impossible not to be ******* up after being involved with such weird **** as all that for so long,

I was only active for about 10 years but I also have that lost feeling some of the time, you must have it stronger than me

Hi Kumar,

You have many, many options open to you now. Please don't despair. It sounds to me like you were a very sincere person. So what you did in BK is fine! If you need to move on, well great.

You can have a wonderful and happy life. First of all, get rid of any thinking that life is somehow wrong. Mix with people. See the good in them and enjoy that wonderful tapestry. And by the way, you don't have to start drinking alcohol or mixing with people who you are not comfortable with. You can fashion your life in a way that suits you personally. For example, I don't go to the local biker clubhouse just because I am an ex-BK. But you do need to learn to mix with people again.

Life is good! This is a fundamental truth. Accept that. Embrace it. You do not have to punish yourself for being human, having feelings and having needs. It may take a while.

You could still pursue spirituality if you like. Just listen to your own needs and nurture yourself through this period. Definitely find things you enjoy that make you feel happy like movies and hobbies.

In terms of indecision, yes we "stuff around" sometimes (to use Australian slang). You have to make some decisions about your life. Go on, be an adult. :) Welcome to the human race.

Cheers,
Sword