What kind of life after BK?

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ema

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What kind of life after BK?

Post22 Aug 2010

Hello everybody !

Now that I started questioning my BK convictions and thinking about another kind of life, I question haunts me: How do you live after leaving BK? I mean, what is your spritual life, your convictions about the meaning of life.

Being a BK gives a sense to your life, it forms your character, you have answers to all your questions about the world and feel joy and happiness to be loved by God. So, it is not possible just leave it and close the door to all that you believed in, is it? Do you join other religious groups, do you practice your own spirituality, do you adapt BK teachings to your needs? How do resource yourself?

I would really like to hear as many peaple as possible. Because if I have to leave BK, I still want to live a meaningful life and have questions to all my answers.
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Mr Green

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Re: What kind of life after BK?

Post22 Aug 2010

There is no such thing as a non-meaningful life. Just relax friend, you are spiritual whether you like it or not, we all are, not just BKs dude, you been affected.

You say you liked having the answers to life's questions, but soon you'll find you never had them!

Your life and purpose is just beginning, welcome to the next level.

ema

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Re: What kind of life after BK?

Post23 Aug 2010

I guess I start having the answer to my question.

In one sense, I feel liberated. I don't feel guilty for eating garlic or meat. I start seeing others with more compassion (strangely) as they are like me - trying their best. I feel that I may be a positive being even without Raja Yoga.

But since I am at the very beginning of my detox of 9 years of addiction (if I may put it so), some questions still rise. What will happen when I have blues? I always used to turn to Yoga which helped me. Do I feel positive just because I still feel the effect of meditating and churning my thoughts in a certain way? Will that finish?

For the moment, I feel calm and self-assured, free. I hope not to regret my choice. But as someone said in this forum, the worse is hesitating, doubting. When you decide, you turn another chapter. Will it be better or worse - the destiny will show that.
Mr Green wrote:There is no such thing as a non-meaningful life. Just relax friend, you are spiritual whether you like it or not, we all are, not just BKs dude, you been affected. You say you liked having the answers to life's questions, but soon you'll find you never had them! Your life and purpose is just beginning, welcome to the next level.

I think I start understanding what you say. I just feel that to make these conclusions it will take a certain amount of time
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ex-l

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Re: What kind of life after BK?

Post25 Aug 2010

Would you care to tell us anything of your journey? How you sucked in and what made you want to step back out again?
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Mr Green

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Re: What kind of life after BK?

Post25 Aug 2010

Yes, the amount of time for recovery is relative to how deep your surrender was and how long you were a member, but recovery is a complete reality and will happen

As ex-l said please share more of your experience

ema

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Re: What kind of life after BK?

Post25 Aug 2010

I have received the 7 Day Course nine years ago. At first I did not even understand that they were talking about God! As the course was very interesting, I wanted to continue and I started going to morning classes. Not long time after that, I started believing in God which was a salvation for me as I come from a non-believing family. I, literally, found a new world, a sense in my life even if I was not searching for that (I attended the course just to accompany a friend).

I soon became vegeterian naturally, without feeling any obligation. At that moment I was living with my boyfriend and I was thinking how I could do it the least painfully in order not to have sexual relationship with him. Everybody used to say that I had changes and, they did not like this calm, to them - almost emotionless being. I felt that I can be happy anytime, anywhere and in any circumstances.

But everything soon changed. I had to leave to another Western country all alone. It was a very difficult time - I felt so alone. Not having a center near me instead of meditating more intensely I started moving away from Raja Yoga. I changed my eating habits and found somebody to be with. We have been together for almost 7 years now. He is Muslim and we got married recently. So, in one sense I am not at all a BK, that is why I don't suffer as much as others who write in this site.

However, I am regular meditator and I was sure that Raja Yoga was THE answer to everything. But after conversations with my husband and after reading your site I started wondering - is this really God speaking in Murlis? I haven't anwered to this question yet, but now I feel that I reject everything coming from Raja Yoga. And I feel stange cause when I am down, what will I do now, to whom/what will I turn? I know that not everything is nonsense in Raja Yoga, but somehow now I cannot read anything of theirs. As I don't know anymore what is true and what is false.

Now, it is the period when you start to see how different you were, how this philosophy influenced your life, and on the other hand, a question down deep in my consciousness is asking - is not it all Maya? :).

because.parmeshwar

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Re: What kind of life after BK?

Post26 Aug 2010

ema wrote:a question down deep in my consciousness is asking - is not it all Maya? :).

It all depends upon the way we think ... Non-BKs do not think about Maya. They go on doing their karma unconsciously and reap the fruits of their Karma unconsciously. They experience joy, sorrow and go on with their lives and for them there is no Gyan to relate their Karma with. What ever is coming is coming and they are enjoying.

For BKs and EX-Bks even a thought of a vice is horrible ... as they have the Gyan to relate their karmas with. And since the outside world is totally non-Gyani, so they have to fall in to the BKs ... there is no escape ...

It requires strong will power to function in the normal world again. Otherwise stay in the BK bubble only, and feel safe ...
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annamaria

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Re: What kind of life after BK?

Post26 Aug 2010

Der ema,

Thank you for your sharings.

What comes to my mind whilst reading your posts is that they show how you have got all the answers inside of you, finding them as you go along.

You describe that you "cannot read anything of theirs" and how you look back on how you where so different thinking Raja Yoga is THE answers. Well, I think I understand - not too long ago I woke up knowing I won't do any "studies" in any of the BK Centers anymore. I knew it was right and no "Maya" by the way I felt at that moment: calm, contented and safe. What scared me was when I started thinking, thinking of all the things, ideas & concepts about right/wrong that had come from outside - at least thats my observation. And what safeguards me, taking step by step, is something I might call an inner compass - that point out "yes", feeling just right. Often this is accompanied by exhalaling and/or other sensations of width. This is how I navigate myself. The problem with training not to be "body-consiousness" is that it tends disconnects us from this refined perceptions as we will only sense though the body - all emotions are known to us thruogh the body.

When it comes to the question weather it is God speaking the truth via Murlis - how could we ever know? I, personally, do not think it is God speaking - not anymore - this beings teaching are just not what I guess God would be like ... What I do know though is that trying to follow the "Murlis" content for ten years resulted in something very close to a breakdown so it is definitely not beneficial for me. I feel so free, content and alive after leaving that behind and trust my gut instincts. When I got in I promised myself that I would stop practicing when I reach a point where I felt that I would regret having lived like this if I was to die that night. So I stopped. Also you may find it helpful to read Steven Hassans "Releasing the Bonds", which I found very helpfull in order to understand what I was experiencing.

Also I think it is a very good sign for your relationship that you can and do talk with your husband about these things. So thank you again for sharing and I really feel you are on a good journey, so no worries about "Maya" - trusting oneself, ones own feelings and perception, is so worthwhile, beatifull and really human - have a good journey.

And finaly coming back to your topic - I would describe my life after the BK-experience and leaving this whole mindset behind very fullfilled and alive - I am back to human :-) - feeling, caring and sharing - there is so much beauty in all the encounters of daily live.

ema

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Re: What kind of life after BK?

Post26 Aug 2010

Thank you all a lot for sharing your point of view and telling me how you continue your journey.

To tell you the truth, I also feel free now, without guilt. Moreover, now I live in one world, not in two. I see others on the same level as myself so that I have more compassion for others since I do for myself.

I have always thought (since my I started believing in God) that you must have a source to take the energy from. And since I started believing with Raja Yoga, I am a little lost.

Do you still believe in God? Do you see Him differently now that you are an ex-BK?
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ex-l

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Re: What kind of life after BK?

Post27 Aug 2010

I think one helpful thing to do is remove all BK ways of thinking and all BK language patterns from your mind and habitual behavior. Forums such as these help us because others can point them out to us. "BK Speak" we sometimes call it. Accept that, to some degree, you are starting all over again and learn to learn from your own experience. It wont kill you.

God? Say there was a personal god, or gods, as the BKs tell their followers ... who would he, she or it want to hang out with?

Someone insecure and sucking up to or praising them all the time, like a teenage pop fanatic having a crush on a pop star and obsessing over them all the time ... or someone just getting on with their life, doing some good, being funny, comfortable, generous and trying their best.

The answer is obvious.

For me, the like of your Dadi Jankis and her infatuation for Lekhraj Kirpalani, and most of the Brahma Kumaris, are still at the first stage.

Forget God, get on with your own life. If there is a God, and they need you, I dare say they will work out a way of getting in touch with you. May be God needs cool people to hang out with too ... to take a break from all the religious nutters.

ema

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Re: What kind of life after BK?

Post28 Aug 2010

You're right ex-l saying that, God aspires for people doing their best, doing good, generous.

Of course, I feel so different now, which is a little disorienting. But I am trying to do it on my own and I really feel well. For the moment. I will do my best to make it continue.
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ex-l

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Re: What kind of life after BK?

Post28 Aug 2010

May be, but what I really mean is something more than that. Someone once said to me, "what other people think is none of your business". It was meant as a cure to worrying too much about what other people thought.

I guess what I meant was, "what God thinks is none of your business either", so stop thinking or worrying about him/it.

How long were you in the BKWSU and how was life at your centers? What did you see that woke you up to what was going on?

For me, there is this strange ... sort of ... "co-dependency" in the concept of relationship with God that the Brahma Kumaris promote. It is all so desperate and clinging ... 24 hours a day ... total surrender ... total devotion ... 10,000 "Babas". They seem to be promoting a sort of obsessive infatuation rather than a mature relationship.

Quote taken at random ... of course, some professionals may dispute there is a syndrome called co-dependency, others will agree.
Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.

Co-dependents have low self-esteem and look for anything outside of themselves to make them feel better. They find it hard to 'be themselves".

They have good intentions. They try to take care of another person ... but the caretaking becomes compulsive and defeating. Co-dependents often take on a martyr’s role and become "benefactors" to an individual in need.

For me, the Brahma Kumaris make you "co-dependent" on their god spirit ... but then THEY take all the fruit of that obsession; the time, money, property etc ... for their use and benefit.

I suppose I am suggesting "detoxing" from god and their god. Treating "god" like an addiction, like an alcohol to an alcoholic. It is not necessary to have any god alcohol in your life at all and it still goes on just fine.

ema

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Re: What kind of life after BK?

Post28 Aug 2010

I have never lived in a center. I attended some seminars, retreats, morning classes. And what concerns the discipline, I was never obliged to do anything: they knew I lived with my boyfriend and I found out about the diet only by observing. I think, that was why I got into it very naturally. They never asked anything from me and were always tolerant.

After just one year of attendancy, I left for another country, but even if I wasn't a very disciplined meditator by then, I was already "intoxicated". So I was swinging from the wordly to the alokik life and continued like this for seven years already. Being my own center myself.

So, I there was nothing to make me think that I am not following THE path. I decided to become a full-time BK if I was to split up with my companion. We got recently married and after some conversations with him and reading your site, I was shaken.

Not a second I would have thought that BKWSU could be a cult!
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ex-l

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Re: What kind of life after BK?

Post28 Aug 2010

So, you never went to Madhuban to meet the spirit entity they think is God speaking through their medium?

I suspect that is when you really start to find out what the "rules" are and what it is all about. It is a wonder to me that they did not push the whole celibacy number on you. Certainly if you were going to Madhuban they would have to have.

It sounds like you went to a very liberal, and skillful, small center when they are keen to keep anyone "close". You were lucky.

No offence intended but I do not think you really saw "inside" the BKWSU. That was probably for the best.

ema

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Re: What kind of life after BK?

Post29 Aug 2010

Yes, in my small center I felt good. However, I felt that the condition if you wanted to go to Madhuban was, of course, the celibacy. But as I was young and poor, no body bothered me for that.

And what is your story, ex-l?
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