Loved by a BK???

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Affected BK

questioning BK

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Re: Loved by a BK???

Post28 Nov 2010

Kate wrote:He said, "in as much as I tried to forget you, I just cannot. Our memories together keeps on lingering in my thoughts all the time. I don't know why? ... me despite of non-communication between us for so many months.

It is then sure that he desperately need human touch / feelings / care / love for his survival and at the same time he is getting some psychic support or strength being in the BKs and so he do not want to leave that either.
I don't want to be hypocrite, I still care about this poor fellow & I want to resurrect him from the vampires but her love for Bap Dada is stronger that what we used to share.

You may try keeping yourself strong by just asking him to be on ONE boat for the benefit of everyone. If he agrees, then he really loves you or just believe that he was not for you. Keep yourself strong, Kate.
I think he is now in the verge of having mental & deep emotional disorder. Any advise? shall I just let him be sucked by the vampires & forget about him forever. He is completely at lost and confused!

Please pull or push him on one boat, for his sanity ... YOU HAVE TO DO THAT ...
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ex-l

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Re: Loved by a BK???

Post30 Nov 2010

Someone once said to me, in life there are people you can be friends with, equals, and have relationships; and there are those that you are meant to help, with whom it is best not to have relationships. Both kinds of relationships can be strong.

He is obviously asking for help. If you give it, it has to be on 'your terms', as in "no BKWSU for at least 6 months". A clean break to help him mend and find himself again. He has got to give up the stupidity of religion ... [i]his dependency or addiction to it[/]. He has to be strong enough to them to stay, "stop and leave me alone for a while".

After a few months, you should be able to see whether he is genuinely out and ready for a relationships. Can he stand on his own feet or would he have to go back to his family for support?

Suggest to him to read over this site starting from the xBKChat archive.
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kate

friends or family of a BK

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Re: Loved by a BK???

Post30 Nov 2010

Dear friends,

thanks once again for sparing your time in giving your valuable comments and suggestions. I realized that he really needs help. I will try to do what I can to get him out from the vampires.

I appreciate the way you enlightened me. this site is certainly making a difference. May you all be blessed.

Kate
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tpd

friends or family of a BK

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Re: Loved by a BK???

Post01 Dec 2010

Hi Kate,

it's now time for you to decide how extra mile you want to go with this person, as it seems you too are being emotionally in fragile state. This person doesn't seems to care for you and understand you (and you don't expect those thing from a BK). If you are madly in love with him it's acceptable that you may try and save him from so called vampires (they are worse than that actually). But if you are just being compassionate then it's not worth, it will just harm you. As there are always times in life that one has to accept the reality and let go the things. We are non-Bk, we don't hide under meditation, karma, god. We accept life as it is. Think of him as junkie who with understanding of the hazards still wants the BK poison.

That's all.
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ex-l

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Re: Loved by a BK???

Post02 Dec 2010

Thanks Kate, and let us know how you get on.

Yes, I think the image of a BK as a kind of junkie hooked on the BKWSU or Dadi Janki is a good image.

The fact is, the "Truth" as they portray it is not true ... so it is a deception. A deception for what? The starting point is for him to go "cold turkey", to de-tox, to "give up the bottle" and the genie within it. Like you say, tpd, to accept life as it is and that he is not some superhuman angel or deity saving the world and becoming a multi-millionaire Narayan as they have led him to believe.

I think that crash, that bubble bursting, is part of every BK's or ex-BK's growing up.

Once we have de-toxed, we ask ourselves, how could we believe and go along with all that stuff? The truth is, we did not but yet somehow, for a little bit of love or a little bit of toli sweeties, we got sucked in and trained like puppy dogs to roll over and lie down. It is strange and amazing how it can happen but, especially during the early days, the so-called Honeymoon Period, it really does feel like being on drugs.

It does wear off as you become familiar, and the BKs are no longer so interested in you, but then they encourage you to keep remembering those days as a way to keep intoxicated. That is a simple hypnotic treatment. That is exactly what hypno-therapists do. I know, I have tried both.

He needs de-programmed.
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tpd

friends or family of a BK

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Re: Loved by a BK???

Post03 Dec 2010

Yes, he needs de-programming but not at the cost of another human being's emotions and mental turmoils. As I have told earlier it's up to Kate; to let go off or hold on.
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kate

friends or family of a BK

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Re: Loved by a BK???

Post31 Dec 2010

Hello friends,

Happy New Year to all of you. For those who have been following my story and guiding me as well, just want to give me some updates about my confused friend.

It has been quite a while and no communication with my BK friend. Yesterday, I received more than 50 missed calls from him 56 to be exact & 25 non stop SMS, 10 emails. The contents of his massive messages have once common denominator, simply expressing his love and feelings. I ignored him for so long till the time that he was almost begging me to answer his calls. I did after his struggles to get in touch with me from early morning 6:30 probably after his morning cultic rituals till late afternoon. He booked a dinner reservation at a five star hotel and he was persuading me to meet him last night. He did all sorts of tactics but to no avail. He was not able to convice me at all.

I simply switched off my cell phone & when I switch it on after an hour, I received again lots of SMS. He sounded so desperate and hurt. In fact, he told me that he simply wanted to tell me in person how much he loves me regardless of anything and he wanted to spend some time with me. He just told me one thing that he is not happy & realize the feeling of being in love. I told him to stop calling me as I am already committed with somebody else & I will be leaving the country for good very soon & he started crying and saying alll absurd things.

I guess, this morning he left for Madhuban & be with the cult gods for few weeks. I am not sure if I have to give him up completely or If I will try to be nice and sweet to him, he will change & leave the dangerous vampires forever. My concern for him as a human being is still stronger & I want him to wake up. Any comments will be appreciated. Can anyone tell me the underlying message of all these strange behaviors of my BK friend. Is he already mentally disturbed? Is he battling between his feelings and love for Bap Dada? Is he a hopeless case and no chance to change at all? Inspite of his strong commitment to BK teachings and its leadership, he keeps coming back to me. Shall I just throw him to the vampires forever? Thanks again for your time.
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ex-l

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Re: Loved by a BK???

Post05 Jan 2011

kate wrote:I told him to stop calling me as I am already committed with somebody else & I will be leaving the country for good very soon & he started crying and saying alll absurd things.

Are these comment true? Are you committed to someone else?
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kate

friends or family of a BK

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Re: Loved by a BK???

Post06 Jan 2011

No I am not committed to somebody. I just want to see his reactions.
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ex-l

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Re: Loved by a BK???

Post07 Jan 2011

I would guess doing that only plays with his emotions more and propose that both of you are involved in a melodramatic relationship that satisfies you both ... in some strange way. For example, due to cultural reasons and his religious superstitions neither of you can allow yourself to just actually have a simple relationship and so this drama satisfies you as much as you both allow yourself to be satisfied.

You could both try reading the book on obsessive relationships called Women Who Love too Much by Robin Norwood. I say both because he is sort of playing out the female role. See also, Relationship Addiction.

My responses is the same,

    a) if you like his and want to go for a relationship do so but make it an either/or situation ... either you or the BKWSU. No "both". He has to completely give up the BKWSU. Actually, I would make him prove it for 3 or 6 months first before I took him on.
    b) ask your self why you are attracted to someone that is unavailable to you and if you want a relationship find someone that is.
    c) accept that it is some destiny for you not to have a relationship but to help him out of the BKWSU and do so ... by asking him to stop for 3 to 6 months and then reviewing the situation.
It does not seem that he is fully in control of his own life. They do encourage people to give over their minds, bodies and wealth completely to them. He needs to take them back.
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kate

friends or family of a BK

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Re: Loved by a BK???

Post07 Jan 2011

Thks ex-l for your valuable comments & suggestions. At this point, I have already accepted the fact that we cannot have a normal relationship. I need someone who will love me, give me time & importance.

Honestly, though I am not committed to anyone as stated earier, I just want to save him from the vampires. Probably I can try to use his affection and love for me in that aspect, I mean to get him out from the devils. He is such a good person, there's no doubt about it yet he is controlled by their evil gods.

Earlier, someone suggested that I should seduce him so he will get hooked to me and eventually ignore all BK tactics & teachings. Considering his strong need to be touched and loved, he has the tendency to be really obsessed with me as evidently manifested from his behavior, ways and attitudes towards me. Is that the only way??? Please advise.

Rght now I am just ignoring him, never answer his calls, SMS & reject all invitations to meet me. I am just really worried, he is almost on the edge of doing something horrible due to his mental programming by the vampires.

Thanks ex-l for guiding, supporting & helping the people here who badly need guidance.
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ex-l

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Re: Loved by a BK???

Post07 Jan 2011

kate wrote:Earlier, someone suggested that I should seduce him so he will get hooked to me and eventually ignore all BK tactics & teachings. Considering his strong need to be touched and loved, he has the tendency to be really obsessed with me as evidently manifested from his behavior, ways and attitudes towards me. Is that the only way??? Please advise.

Strictly speaking, it is not advice that I could give as I do not know you and I do not know him but if I was in a similar situation in my life, and I felt for someone, I would consider such an option on the condition that they had to cut the Brahma Kumaris completely out of their life.

No contact, no mediation, no chit-chat, no service, no emails, no nothing. A complete clean break. To go back to them would be infidelity to you (at the moment, he is practising infidelity to his god).

From my point of view, he needs "grounded", brought down to earth and back into his body. A relationship can help do that.

He seems a strange case though, if all that you say is true, he is living a schizophrenic life. Yes, he needs to shown, to feel, that life without religion is possible. Any religion, any crutch. Just to be normal is OK and to get on with life with all that silly end of the world, emperors of the New Age business, guru trip stuff. It is up to you to judge whether he has bigger problems than just the BKWSU, or not.

If you were willing to take him on, and the BK vultures came after them ... as they probably will with their sweet talk and prasad ... my advice would be for you to go COMPLETELY on the war path to get rid of them. There is no point being weak or polite with these people, they can be very persistent and so need a very clear message. Go as high as you can in the organization and create a stink.
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jann

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Re: Loved by a BK???

Post18 Apr 2012

Wonder what happened to Kate?
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AntiBrahmakumaris

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Re: Loved by a BK???

Post02 May 2015

This whole story made me cry. Kate what happened next ? I really wish you both are married and must have had at least 2 kids by now. I will kill every BK who will come in between you.

Please reply what happened next. Please someone notify me when reply is posted.
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