Leaving Cult, Need Money?

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ex-l

ex-BKWSU

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Leaving Cult, Need Money?

Post18 Sep 2012

geoffrey falk wrote:Leaving Cult, Need Money?

One of the primary impediments to leaving a cult, even for persons who have already realized the detrimental effect of their continued residence there, is the lack of money and job prospects facing one in leaving that environment.

One may, quite literally, go from living in a psychological prison to living in a shelter; or, in the hope of avoiding that fate, sign an agreement constraining one from speaking against the destructive spiritual organization, in exchange for just a few hundred dollars.

I never had to sign any agreement with the BKs to keep quiet ... that must be pretty obvious. I don't know of anyone who had to but we were told the founders of the previous xBKChat forum were frightened into some kind of agreement to silence them and close the forum down. There is a copy of it, here. Although I do wonder if any ex-BKs have kept silent because of the dirt the BKWSU keeps or knows about them from "confessions" made to senior Sisters, and so on?

However ... I can agree with the above on the money side and know many who were left in a similar situation. Rather than saving up, paying a mortgage on a home and looking after myself, I gave all my extra free labor to build up the BKs' business and what little extra money I had too.

Not only did I have nothing when I left, no savings, no qualifications, no real career, no nothing outside of the cult ... my leaving was delayed simply because I did not have the money to do so. I had left inside a sometime before.

The period between when the internal changed had happened, and my final physical departure, was horrible. I so regret getting involved. When the bubble burst you start to see all the ugliness and most of all the neediness and manipulation. The BKs defend against this by preparing adherents by warning about "seeds of Maya" being planted and "souls being eaten by Maya" etc ... but, in truth, it is the BK world that is the Maya. By leaving, you are escaping it.

I hear they pay more attention to exiting BKs in the West now, so as not to have them turn upon them but I wonder how it is in India and for Sisters, for whom I suspect it is impossible to leave?

The BKs should set up a financial trust to assist any surrendered individual leave and find their way in the real world, e.g. enough to rent a place to stay and find their feet, some counselling even (although not in-house).

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maria

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Re: Leaving Cult, Need Money?

Post18 Sep 2012

Rather than saving up, paying a mortgage on a home and looking after myself, I gave all my extra free labor to build up the BKs' business and what little extra money I had too.

Not only did I have nothing when I left, no savings, no qualifications, no real career, no nothing outside of the cult ... my leaving was delayed simply because I did not have the money to do so. I had left inside a sometime before.

The period between when the internal changed had happened, and my final physical departure, was horrible. I so regret getting involved. When the bubble burst you start to see all the ugliness and most of all the neediness and manipulation.


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ex-l

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Re: Leaving Cult, Need Money?

Post19 Sep 2012

Money you can sometimes earn back later ... but time and lost opportunities you can never buy, and there are right times and right seasons to things. Magical "positive thinking" cannot cure all of them or gain them back.

Completing education (especially higher education) and starting a career are best done at the earliest opportunity. If you have to re-start later, you will find it harder to find good positions, or any position at all. You will feel that you fit in easier with others of a similar age.

Making social bonds and connections are normally done along with members of society at your own age, they will help you throughout your life with social and work related opportunities.

For women, starting and having a family can only be done until a certain age and become more difficult and dangerous to mother and child if they are not. It's a fact but generally more "better mates" male and female are picked off earlier and if left to late, one can find oneself "left on the shelf".

Government policies and economies can change, e.g. free education becomes paid for, times of good opportunities dry up.

Not gaining a degree with *seriously* impair your earning ability and the difference will become greater and greater the older you get.

You will have no pensions ... the End of the World will not save you from poverty in old age, neither will the Brahma Kumaris.

These are just a few of the longer term examples I can think of. You might be able to think of more.
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because.parmeshwar

exiting BK

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Re: Leaving Cult, Need Money?

Post19 Sep 2012

The teachings on destruction is actually doing the destruction of lives. When our mind accepts that destruction is going to happen soon, the normal planning of lives disappears... and i don't know... but strangely or foolishly we starts giving money and free labor without making any security arrangements for the future. The world outside also pushes us as there are news of fraud, loot, price rise, insecurity, corruption, uncertainty every where in the relations etc. I personally did not give any efforts for self security, family, and from inside i was wishing and hoping for the end of the world which was boosted by daily teachings..

It is painful when we again find ourselves in the desert of loneliness and back to the normal world, knowing that i have to live normally till the end of my life. where to go...? The indecision, and directionless life is very painful.
ex-I wrote:The BKs should set up a financial trust to assist any surrendered individual leave and find their way in the real world, e.g. enough to rent a place to stay and find their feet, some counselling even (although not in-house).


I am not sure they will do it... All they will say that well, we did not say to leave, you are still our Brother/Sister... come join us and do Godly SERVICE it is now only matter of few years.

ex-i rightly said that money can be earned afterward by doing one or the other things... but from where i can get my time back. If i had struggled for earning a good position socially, secured myself, earned the social respect by taking the right steps at right time, perhaps i would have much much contented than finding a GOD ... but there teachings was totally opposite, that little time is left to conquer my vices and use my body, mind and money for the heavenly status. so i went that way.... WHERE WAS I WRONG?
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maria

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Re: Leaving Cult, Need Money?

Post19 Sep 2012

We were badly manipulated. Yes, thats the real thing. We did not have "the choice" of staying or leaving. Our options on life were cut down. Murli (God words and directions for us then) said it everyday: We had just one road left: to died alive. So I do not think you were wrong, because.parmeshwar. Any of us. We were used and abused.

And ex-l, I do not think BK would give any money to us to recover our lives and our mental sanity. The first thing I would do with that money, after realized what they have done to me, would be to demand them on court. So its much safer for them to leave us with no money, no where to go, to meaning of live and in a post traumatic stage.

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