You are too kind Jayred and of course you are welcome here as one of us and an equal. Unlike the BKWSU, we encourage people to think, ask and question ... even challenge them so they stretch themselves.
When I was young I made a mistake by thinking the BKWSU really was a "Spiritual University". I really wanted to study at a spiritual university and study real spiritual knowledge. I hung around and fooled myself for a few years believing that within the movement I was going to find something deeper or an inner circle where the really interesting went on ... what a *big* mistake! It does not exist. The BKWSU should be called the BKWGK ... the Brahma Kumaris World Geriatric Kindergarden.
Back to your paramour ...
Yes, I am partly aware of the problems you are likely to have and the cultural differences around the world, and we all know all the mental and social defences the Brahma Kumaris are pre-programmed with. I also do not know how big a town or city your live in, whether you live near the center or are in anyway connected to it.
How do you think best to approach it? How do you think it would be possible within your cultural environment?Let us think about how they are pre-programmed in India and elsewhere ... it might help others too. Of course, some ex-BKs here might tell you stories of BK Sisters who have almost jumped on top of them, and a number of high flying Western Brahma Kumaris, including center-in-charges, have all taken sexual holidays ... so the experience does vary. We know of at least two center-in-charges who carried on a secret sexual affair ... one even got married ... and perhaps one lesbian one.
Obviously, her first defence might be that you are just a "lusty dog" attacking her with the "sword of lust". That should be easy to avoid, you could easily offer a marriage based on love and companionship rather than sex. For example, BK Shivani has a husband. That is a good example.
Then there is the purely human element of "shame". She will wonder how she will be able to hold her face up in the future if she is around places where the BKWSU is.
Brahma Kumaris are conditioned to believe love, sex and human affection is shameful ... "blackening the face", "dirtying her costume", "spoiling her chart", or even "putting on bloody leather clothes" are all images the BKs uses. The young virgins have also been encouraged in the past to think of sex and men as awful things on the basis of idea passed down to them by the Seniors and false stories of the Om Mandli days. "Destroying her inheritance" is a big mantra within the BKWSU and to destroy the "high status" of being a center-in-charge, and perhaps one of the 16,108 deities, might be a difficult idea if she still believes in it.
I am not sure that center-in-charges are more "stubborn" than normal. Yes, we have all met some bossy bull BKs but I think what happens to the Sisters who are streamed for becoming center-in-charges is that they are given additional brainwashing and during their unpaid servant period, treated very strictly or even severely. I have tried to discuss this on the forum and the secrets of Kumari training, but there are few of them to speak out. They have all sorts of extra rules to follow.
In fact, to have an ex Indian center-in-charge BK leave and then speak out about the system honestly would be very useful for us.
Agewise, I would not be too worried either. The good thing about the BK life is that it keeps people younger than their age ...
as long as they do not go to fat because of overeating due repressed emotions ... and, to be honest, women improve with age.
A woman in her early 30s is just entering into her prime and, if she has taken care of herself, will be becoming even more beautiful ( ...
avoid those that have not looked after or developed themselves because they are just about to explode and deflate!).
If we were to imagine the unimaginable, child bearing would not be entirely impossible ... but there are other alternatives born out of an even greater love, such as adoption, to consider. And God know India has more than enough children to adopt if that is what you want. Please adopt many! Loving is a reward in itself and loving that which needs love the most is a far greater act then just loving selfishly something you want for yourself or for your own gratification. Child bearing can often be a very ignorant and selfish act.
(
To be frank, mothers who are selfishly absorbed in "their child" over other children, and treat them like they were an extension of their body disgust me slightly, as does the whole idea of nepotism and protecting blood lines for the sake of property and status. We should love all children as if they were our own and chose the best of them for the right purposes).
This subject of child love and child bearing is one Brahma Kumaris rarely discuss, but it must be very difficult for them. 99.9% of women I know love children intensely. One honest and intelligent Brahma Kumari admitted to me that she "felt her body crave having a child". That is to say, due to the nature of her genes and hormones and internal organs, her body reminded her that she was a woman and should reproduce ... that child bearing was part of her dharma. To steal that experience from young women and the comfort, simple pleasures and security it generally brings is criminal ... all for the mad goose chase BKism has become.
We know why the BKs suppress and avoid this and it is not for the reasons they claim. Why they are so anti-sex and anti-children is a good question to ask ... I think for them it is merely a matter of 'expedience' (
serving a purpose efficient).
"Why go to the effort and expense to have children to expand your religion ... when you can just steal other women's?"
Do you know, I knew of a young woman in the 1980s who the Kripalani Klan leaders advised to have an abortion because the End of the World was going to come in two or three years and it would be a distraction from her Yoga and doing service. She was already pregnant before she became a BK and thankfully she left and did not listen to them. Married women are second class citizens in the BKWSU.
Is your friend a "career BK" or do you think she only became a BK because her family pushed her and she had no choice. If she had no choice and merely had to resign herself to a life as a BK, perhaps you have a greater chance? If not, please consider rescuing another BK ... the only think I would refuse to do, and be very clear about this, is to support her to be a BK. For anyone reading this in a similar situation, make that very clear.
Our family or the BK family; one or the other. Indeed, you could even say the Human family or the BK family, as the BKs are so anti-humanity other than themselves.The BK movement is run by "the clever businessman". They allow other families to go to the pain and expense of producing children and then where they are fully formed, like you and I were when we encountered the BK, just steal their minds and put them to service as "their family". This is why the BKs talk about "family" all the time ... with them as the self proclaimed elders who have to be obeyed and served by young girls like your friend.
The Brahma Kumaris are like spiritual cuckoos, planting their seeds and laying their eggs and having other little birds grow their children up.
I guess, because of all the defences, I considered the best approach was just to throw a "handgrenade" of truth in and see what happens. See if you destroy the defences. Perhaps in other situations a more gentle, persistent method might work?
What do you think?