BK cover up

for ex-BKs, exiting BKs, Friends & Family of BKs and newcomers to the forum.
  • Message
  • Author

deepack

  • Posts: 14
  • Joined: 03 Mar 2013

BK cover up

Post03 Mar 2013

A friend of mine had an encounter with a female escourt, so it seems one of the top dog trustees, let's say a European country for being anonymous and for legal reasons. A trustee quite high up found about about this escort. He paid a visit to this escort and he himself paid bags full of high cash to bribe the escort to video my poor friend who knew nothing about this.

The trustee from the BKs showed all the top Sisters and his own family. The trustee made up stories at the centre at the same time.

This has ruined my poor friends reputation and has caused great harm and pain and suffering to his family. My friend who is a sweet easy going guy, has never visited a female escort before. For legal reasons won't give away details, but he did this at the time he was suffering with something.

This trustee from the centre of BK has denied everything, and the centre people have made up evil cruel lies about my poor friend to his own family.

This is a dilemma, what should my friend do?
User avatar

ex-l

ex-BK

  • Posts: 10661
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: BK cover up

Post03 Mar 2013

Is you friend a BK ... what do the BKs want from him?

For what purpose would the BKs ... allegedly ... bribe a prostitute in order to make a movie? Are they demanding money from him or his family? That would be blackmail.

Legally, it's impossible to say without knowing which country he is in. In many countries, it is perfectly legal to visit a prostitute but even in such countries it is illegal to make a sex movie without someone's permission. There are 'invasion of privacy' laws to protect people of this, e.g. video taping or recording sexual acts without a persons consent is illegal in every State in the USA, and also harassment laws, which is what the BKs are doing by involving themselves in his private life.

But what is missing is the purpose ... why?

If what you are saying is true, then you need not be afraid. As long as what you are saying it true, you can say it. But if it is a legal matter, it largely depends on which country you are in. If you want to discuss the matter privately, please send me a private message using the buttons to the right of this post.

It all sounds bizarre ... did the BKs watch all of the pornographic video!?! How did they even find out?

If he does not want to take legal action, then I think your friend should name and shame the BKs who did this. His life has been deeply effected and he has to accept that. At the very least he should warn others of them.

It's generally better to speak a therapist or counsellor etc when you are upset, not go to a prostitute. Why did not he just leave the BKs and find a normal girlfriend?

deepack

  • Posts: 14
  • Joined: 03 Mar 2013

Re: BK cover up

Post03 Mar 2013

Hi, thanks for the reply. Yes, my friend used to be a BK. He left a few years back, but he lives in a household of a BK family as his family are all BK. To fill in the details, this trustee (who is one of the top dogs in the BKs), is also best friends with his Sister. So over the years this trustee knows pretty much a lot of what happens in my friend's household.

My friend use to have a business where this trustee use to be the accountant. I believe my friend may have told the escort about the accountant and client connection. After the encounter with the escort, he may have told someone in family. And this trustee is a bully who may have bullied my friend's family member to goes though his diary which is when the escort's detail and number where discovered. When my friend asked his parent why the trustee did this, the parent mentioned that the trustee wanted to make sure whether my friend was pure or not.

It gets interesting, my friend visited the escort recently and for 20 mins she did not recognised him straight away. When my friend showed the escort the photo she said, "yes, this trustee or shall we say man came over here". There was no sex involved this time just conversation. But when my friend asked the escort did she have sex with the trustee (man), she laughed. I get the feeling although this bit is speculation, the trustee and the escort may have had sex.

The trustee must of paid the woman lots of cash, as she would not budge, and she was aware of my friend's financial situation and life and career all updated nicely by the trustee.

My friend mentions that he the trustee showed the video to the top Seniors or surrender Brothers and Sisters. And he spread very bad rumours, all bad. The trustee bullied my friend's mother to watch the video saying your sons this and that. My friend's mum since then is traumatised. She has admitted a video exists and my friend who, though he hasn't seen the video, he is aware the video was taken.

My friend would like to name and shake, however, when he sent an email to the top Seniors, the trustee threatened my friend with the police, so my friend had to apologise to the trustee.

The reason my friend went to the escort he was lonely and he has never had a girlfriend in his life, the trustee who has a close friendship with my friend's Sister has for years tried to control his every move. That's the trustee who has tried to control my friend. Plus coming out of a BK and having a career and finding a girlfriend with all the BK pressure is tough for him.

Yes, I would like to discuss this matter privately as this is very disturbing events that have unfolded. Was wondering if it's worth my friend to ask the police how could they help.

My friend also had Seniors Brothers and Sister BK from the centre come to see him. They say, "get over it, oh move on". How can he when this two-face trustee at the BK has committed a crime?

The only purpose I could find is that this trustee wanted to control the household he lives in. He puts ideas in my friend's Sister's head. The trustee is like an extended member of the house, he tries to manipulate the relations in my friends household. For obvious reasons, I have been careful to have some details anonymous as my friend fears for this trustee who is a thug.
User avatar

ex-l

ex-BK

  • Posts: 10661
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: BK cover up

Post03 Mar 2013

Does the BKWSU get money out of the family?

If so, I suppose this could be construed as some sort of 'blackmail' but it sounds more like civil case rather than a criminal case, e.g. of "undue influence" and harassment. By "civil" it means he would have to go to a lawyer rather than the police. Is there any chance you can get the video back? That might be a case for police ... try telling them these people are blackmailing you and the police might go investigate everyone and find it.

The Seniors Brothers and Sister BK from the centre coming to see him to cover up the crime sounds very typical of the Brahma Kumaris and I can imagine if the case went to the Police they would go into overdrive trying to sweeten the police up and blacken his name. That would then depend on how good the police were. I am afraid to say that time and time again we have had proven that the Brahma Kumari leaderships is willing to act without any morals. They don't care and they are very persistent and, at some point, you have to confront them directly.

It could be that the family and the trustee are just working together to kick your friend out of his family home because he is now seen as "impure" because he is not following the BK path ... what right on earth did he have to interfere in private personal or family matters? None. None as an individual and none as a BK. He has no right to do so at all ... but do I believe that the BKs would drive a son out of his family home? Yes, of course they would.

Perhaps they want the house as a center?

The trustee has no reason nor right to question your friend's sex life and sounds like he needs kicked out of the home. But what is going on, is the Sister also conspiring against him? This is terrible. It's is bad enough the BKs split apart husbands and wives but to now interfere with family members is outrageous.

All I can say at present is unless someone challenges the trustee he will only become stronger at what he does and so I think your friend needs to try in every way. He needs to be taught at lesson.

I understand the revelation might be embarrassing and traumatising, especially as an ex-BK he is inexperienced in that area. I believe that it must be. Is there also a history of his mother controlling him, and controlling that aspect of his life too? Are they trying to get him back into the BKWSU? Are they after the family property and so want rid of your friend? Do you think other senior BKs would agree with this trustees actions?

What a picture of the BKWSU this paints ... does this kind of experience happen often? I would not be afraid to expose the trustee and if it was my home, kick him out.

Unfortunately, it is a good lesson in not trusting such a woman ... or if you need to go that route, going to one far away from your home!
User avatar

Pink Panther

  • Posts: 1885
  • Joined: 14 Feb 2013

Re: BK cover up

Post03 Mar 2013

Deepak - it sounds like its about time your friend cut the apron strings.

This is all fiddling at the edges. Even when this situation is left behind, something else will come up.

It's high time he left.
User avatar

ex-l

ex-BK

  • Posts: 10661
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: BK cover up

Post04 Mar 2013

Pink Panther wrote:... cut the apron strings.

I am not sure if that is an Indian idiom so, "cut the apron strings" means to go off and live independently, to cut away from one's mother's or parent's influence. Do you mean leave the house, Pink ... or just live as he wants and not care what they think? To be a bit more assertive?

It's all wrong for the BKs to act like interfering aunties. It's as far from "spiritual" principles as you can get. It seems BKism is being used to control and confuse him.

I can agree with what but I loathed to be kicked out of my home and lose it to the cuckoos of the BKWSU. This trustee needs to sorted out ... this is a very serious interference and harassment if it is true. What business is it of his to interfere?

You can guarantee they'll be after the property, "give it to Baba and earning multi-millions, don't leave it to you impure son and share his bad karma".

Deepack, what do you think the BKWSU intentions are here? Did the BK use their own money or the BKWSU's money to do this act?

deepack

  • Posts: 14
  • Joined: 03 Mar 2013

Re: BK cover up

Post04 Mar 2013

Hello and many thanks for reply, much appreciated. To the first person who , to answer the questions, basicly the trustee does not actually or have never lived at my friends house. However he has a property portfolio where my friends Sister has helped and supported and dedicated her time to. My friend has spoken to several law firms who say nothing can be done without evidence. His mother is also scared to get involved and admit anything to police. The law firms say they need concrete evdidence. However at present my friend has the escorts address as proof, and I am sure the Police can investigate somehow. He has tried to get the video back, as he knows the ball is in the trustee court, how do we know it won't resurface?

Yes, the senior Brother and Sisters have been round my friends house and say, "oh just forget it, it's putting pressure on your mum". Meanwhile his mother is finding it hard to fight emotions of the video whilst the same time, when she goes to the centre, the BKs are winding her up saying, "are you sure he your son is not on any drugs etc?".

I feel from my friend's view that the Sister and the trustee, whom are best friends, are trying to get the sweet guy thrown out of the home. This is all about money as is it possible the house could end up on the centre's will, that's a possibly?

His mother always wanted him to have some connection with the BKs over the years, however, she eventually gave up until the video with the escort was shown. Since then she is in a state of confusion, all because of this trustee.

In the meantime, the trustee was so desperate to bring my friend down, that he even managed to get the number of the previous client before my friend had the encounter with the escort. It seems my friend got there too early, so the escort had no choice but to rep things up. The previous client of the escort may have seen my friend waiting outside and also the escort had the previous client number. How does my friend know this? Well, my friend had no choice but he find the number on his mother's mobile phone, and his mother has admitted that the trustee would have paid money to the previous client to watch the escort and the previous client's story that some bloke my friend arrived early and to confirm that the escort does this work.

My friend does want to teach this trustee a lesson. All the top dogs are aware but they don't care. What options does my friend have to involve the police or, in fact, anything as this is a crime that the trustee has committed. The trustee and the BKs' sole purpose is to isolate my dear friend and, naturally, about money and property which he has with my friend's Sister.

deepack

  • Posts: 14
  • Joined: 03 Mar 2013

Re: BK cover up

Post04 Mar 2013

Just to add to further my friend has mentioned the harassment to the director and European director of the BKs and they say, "just move on". His own family are traumatised. The trustee is very rich, and wouldn't be anywhere without the support from my friend's Sister.

I have tried to keep aspects anonymous, however, I am happy to inbox message privately to the first person.

I have heard over the years of BKs' bad behaviour, but this really is rock bottom of bad behaviour, what options does my friend have, as he does want to name and shame?

Just adding further the money to bribe the escort was the trustee's own cash, but he immediately told the top dogs at the centre, all of whom naturally supported his view that my friend has gone mad, which is all lies.
User avatar

ex-l

ex-BK

  • Posts: 10661
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: BK cover up

Post04 Mar 2013

Did the top dog BKs all agree with the trustees actions?

Unfortunately, he has the shame now right in the heart of his family. It's starting to sound as if the Sister is the real ***** who has been organizing all this behind the scenes. Does she also live at home? If you say she has been sneaking in to read his private diary, that is a terrible breach of trust ... but, unfortunately, not a crime.

If the trustee has paid to have a sex tape made without his knowledge or agreement, then that is worth reporting. The police should interview the parents, BKs and trustee ... and then the question is "would they lie?". I suspect the trustee and Sister might but could the mother?

In the UK, for example, it’s definitely 'unlawful' to share a sex tape that involves someone else (without permission). It breaches privacy laws.

Perhaps the Sister wants the property to run as a BK center and for her Brother not to get anything? If so ... does that not already make it far more spiritual impure than someone just making love?

I hope your friend does everything he can to nail the BKs. Of course, they say, "just move on" ... they don't want trouble. They don't want it all to come back on their reputation. That is why I think your friend needs to 'come out' and admit he is a sexual person, that there is nothing wrong with that, that it is his own private business and no one else's ... and hammer the BKs for interfering with his family life.

One question, do you honestly think this escort made the tape covertly? Do you honestly believe that it was her rather than your friend doing it for himself and then, say, his Sister finding it and releasing it? It would not bother me either way but if the escort did do it 'for money' ... and I find that unusual because if she was known to do such things, then it would damage her business too ... then I would report her too.

I've sent you a private message.
User avatar

ex-l

ex-BK

  • Posts: 10661
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: BK cover up

Post04 Mar 2013

Accusing their critics or victims of mental illness is another common trick of the Brahma Kumaris. I have heard that before. I think it's an Indian culture thing where mental illness is seen as a much stronger social stigma.

I can understand why an ex- or exiting cult member, who has just come out of a celibate cult which holds such negative values of normal activities like love and sex, would choose to go to an escort to break his enforced celibacy ... especially if he was not confident with women and relationships.

As Pink Panther hints, it suggests there are deeper psychological issues relating to sex, relationships and his parents that he needs to sort out. This is not "mental illness". It is a very simple and obvious personality issue which therapists deal with all of the time, e.g. with people from strict Jewish or Catholics backgrounds.

There are, in fact, therapists who work with 'sexual surrogates' in order to overcome such problems. 'Sexual surrogates' are not escorts, they are sex therapists who work professionally helping people with sexual inhibitions, confidence and relationships problems. They work safely, confidentially and compassionately.

It seems your friend's big mistake was to go to such a cheap and low class escort! And that if he has such strong conflicts within himself, e.g. one person seeking a normal life against the the influence of his family and the greedy BKWSU, then a counsellor or therapist would be a better option of going to see rather than a hooker.

Are such relationships problem common amongst exiting cult members? Yes. They are very common. Quite normal and can be fixed. If this trustee has made the issue worse, I'd like to kick his ass for him.

deepack

  • Posts: 14
  • Joined: 03 Mar 2013

Re: BK cover up

Post04 Mar 2013

Hi thanks for the private message have replied. Thank you.

Just responding to the second to last post. It's unclear whether the top dog BKs agree with the trustee's actions, but they are aware of it, most of them anyway. It's all secrecy culture at the very top from what I understand.

Yes, I believe the Sister does live at home, but it's unclear how much bullying the trustee does and how much she obeys him. But he, the trustee, is definitely in charge. It looks like he wants my friend to be the villain and out the house.

Regarding the video, my friend understands that it was definitely taken without his consent, and the trustee investigated and bribed the escort to gain access to it.

However, if he reports the trustee to the police at this stage he has an address of the escort but needs further proof, and when my friend visited the escort the second time round to get the truth once she became aware whom my friend was she began to deny everything. Whereas in the first 20 mins she recognised the trustee from the photo and from my friend's view it was obvious that a video was made.

I agree the words 'move on' are harsh and cruel.

I do understand the tape was made covertly may be it's an escort thing to protect and bribe or something. Still some aspects are unclear. My understanding is that my friend did report the escort to the agency and they denied everything. So it's unclear if it was just this particular escort up to this business of recording.

The trustee also made up very nasty stories about my friend, some of which I cannot repeat for to remain anonymous.
User avatar

ex-l

ex-BK

  • Posts: 10661
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: BK cover up

Post04 Mar 2013

deepack wrote:I do understand the tape was made covertly may be it's an escort thing to protect and bribe or ... just this particular escort up to this business of recording.

I think not. If an escort agency was to be known to do that, it would go out of business very quickly, a) because no one would trust it any more, and b) because the owners would be arrested and imprison. However, I suspect it would be next to impossible to "ask nicely" and get them to do anything because of the semi-legal or criminal nature of their business, e.g. many "escort agencies" are essentially 'pimps' which is illegal.

What you are describing is not "escorting" it is prostitution and although sex for money is not illegal, it is illegal to pimp out prostitutes. The woman is a prostitute. An escort goes out on dates, a prostitute has sex for money. There is nothing in what you have written to suggest that she is anything more than a prostitute and the meeting was purely for sex even if, for your friend, it was therapeutic sex. For example, you say, "next customer" etc as if there was a queue of men and that sounds like a brothel.

Managing a brothel, or assisting in the management of a brothel, is an offence which carries a maximum sentence of seven years in prison. Therefore it appears your friend has landed himself in a semi-criminal world.

There was a case recently where a man made a sex tape of a woman without her permission and then showed it online. He was put into prison for ten months and made the subject of a 10-year notification order having been found guilty of voyeurism. That suggests to me the courts would accept this is a 'criminal act'.

Your friend might be able to, at least, have the trustee charged with voyeurism for secretly having the tape made, watching it and sharing it with others.

I agree it is sometimes difficult to get the police to do anything but he has a complaint or harassment and they have to take it and investigate. It's their job to interview people and find the evidence. He can remind them of this case. Basically, 'civil' means you have to get a lawyer, 'criminal' means the police have to get involved. The secret is to "keep things simple". Don't go to the police or a lawyer in a mess and expect them to do something. Your friend needs to go to a counsellor/therapist for that. Stick to something simple, e.g. voyeurism, blackmail etc.

Under the Theft Act 1968, blackmail consists of making an unwarranted demand with menaces with a view to making a gain or causing a loss. Menaces do not need to be threats, e.g. where a victim is "particularly vulnerable or of a timid nature", a jury may find menaces existed where the one carrying them out was aware of the affect of his actions on the victim. For it to be blackmail, certain factors to be proven. Has the trustee made any specific demands to your friend or his family?

What is interesting for us to question is what the trustee of a public charity is doing following someone into a semi-criminal world and, allegedly, bribing a prostitute to make an illegal sex tape. It sounds a little hard to believe but not impossible I suppose ... what nationality was the prostitute?

If there is any convincing truth to this, I'd be very happy to help him make up a complaint to the Charity Commission. As he is a trustee of a public charity which takes in million of pounds per year and benefits from donations of family properties, there is a 'public interest' in the story and so a very good reason to discuss it.

Some of these individuals are 'public figures' promoting themselves on the basis of appearing "holy" and virtuous, therefore do not have the same protect as private individuals do.
User avatar

Pink Panther

  • Posts: 1885
  • Joined: 14 Feb 2013

Re: BK cover up

Post05 Mar 2013

To answer ex-l's question:

My suggestion to "cut the apron strings" was indeed to move away completely - start a new life somewhere else. Get out of that house and immediate environment.

Without any evidence or justification, I am guessing ...
    1. It could be this attempt to set things right or get back at the trustee etc is really just another excuse to continue the dependency this person (the ex-BK) has to his current state. He probably "enjoys" being cooked and cleaned for etc.

    2. It's possible his Sister is manifesting a (self-righteous BK form of) common sibling rivalry - boosting her own ego (how elevated she is) at the expense of her Brother's (how degraded or what a failure he is - but using BK values).
Staying there, the Brother will always be pulled in to play their game, be impelled to play by those rules, be judged by those standards, by people he is symbiotically connected to and therefore emotionally manipulated by.

As long as he lives in this situation, he is not going to be able to become his own person, he will always be defined by his family and his past.

This is not an exclusively BK thing. It is, as ex-l said, every overbearing family. It happens in all places and times at all levels of society. Religion and puritanism gives it another flavour.

Putting a bit of physical distance between himself and them will also give him time and a better, dispassionate view of what to do. Legal measures can still be followed through with, but with somewhat less stress. I can tell you, going from a friend's experience, litigating against people you are living in the same house with (and still love) is hellish.

Every young person has to go. As long as you stay, you remain their child. Time for manning up and moving out.
User avatar

ex-l

ex-BK

  • Posts: 10661
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: BK cover up

Post05 Mar 2013

What do you think, Deepack ... does that describe your friend's situation and would he consider it?

I suppose there is one reason to stay, and that would be to attempt to protect his parents from, and remove, the influence of the Brahma Kumaris but we all know there is no magical solution to do that. To me, it often seems like, for Indians abroad, Brahma Kumarism becomes a sort of alternative and default neo-Hinduism for them ... one that egotistically appealing because it makes them superior in their mind.

This case is a very good example of why they are not superior at all and are willing to fall back onto some very ugly behaviour.

To a greater degree, Brahma Kumarism is designed to usurp and take the place of Hindu community and so take the parents out of Brahma Kumarism would be as difficult as to take them out of being Hindu.

Yes, what you write, Pink Panther, about the now toxic environment and sibling rivalry sounds rational ... what would be his reasons for staying, Deepack?

Would the property be useful to the Brahma Kumaris to have as a center? (This case is proof why it should never be allowed to!). How confident and capable is your friend in dealing with his parents and Sister? It might be worth him studying up why the Brahma Kumaris have little real credibility and how so much of what they teach is false.

It's terrible how the BKs become involved in wrecking families.

deepack

  • Posts: 14
  • Joined: 03 Mar 2013

Re: BK cover up

Post05 Mar 2013

ex-l wrote:Accusing their critics or victims of mental illness is another common trick of the Brahma Kumaris. I have heard that before. I think it's an Indian culture thing where mental illness is seen as a much stronger social stigma.

Hello, thanks for the above reply. Yes, I agree, accusing the victim of going through a phase or mental illness is very wrong and immoral.

I can confirm that my friend has never been confident with women and relationship in general, however, whether he went to break his celibacy at this stage is unclear. Of course, some I cannot repeat here to be anonymous, as my friend does fear the trustee's bully tactics.

Yes, I agree my friends big mistake was to go to a cheap a and low class escort. Why he went there is still unclear but, probably, the obvious answer is he was lonely.

The trustee has made the issues worse, why on earth would a trustee bribe an escort, then show and talk about this to the surrendered centre Brothers and Sisters? It is beyond me. My friend did approach the trustee and explain that this has had a deep profound negative effect on his life. The trustee, and I quote, said, "I've been set up" meaning the trustee. I think that explains a lot.
Next

Return to Newcomers