Dear Inventor,
I am sorry to read of your family's problems. Yes, sadly, you are not alone and this pattern has been repeated all over the world for decades. The BKs know it and have evolve a number of strategies for dealing with it whilst families are generally at a loss because they don't understand who the BKs are, what they believe, even the language and ideas they use.
Having been through this situation many times with families, I have become hardened towards them and protective of families. Yes, I think Pink Panther makes a good point about the possible arranged marriage, and that is worth talking to her about, but it seems to me the BKs have gotten deeper into her mind.
Firstly, I have to say, prepare for the worst ... that is to say, that you have lost your child/sibling to the BKs. Do not financially support her any more, do not give her any money, do not give her her dowry because all of it will go to the Brahma Kumaris and I will always argue this is the Brahma Kumaris number one interest.
If your child/sibling wants to join the BKs, let her go now but with no money, nothing. If she wants to be a BK, let her leave the house and let her look after herself or let them look after her. Just tell her to leave.
The trick here is that the BKs really don't want her, especially if she brings nothing with her. They want you/the family to financially support her whilst she works for them for no reward. They want her dowry and to be 'fed', not another mouth to feed.
Don't enter into any more conversations because,
a) she is not being honest with you any more, and starting to manipulate you with half-truths.
b) the center-in-charge and women at the BK center will be filling her mind with ideas and "yuktis" (tricks) with which to fool and argue with you. They will be prompting her what to say and what to do in order to manipulate you.
Be as cold hearted to her as she is being to your family. The BKs tell their adherents they have "died alive", accept that she is dead and treat her as such.
When she says, "Shiva talks to her in meditation", this is absolute rubbish. It is rubbish by ordinary religion and it is rubbish by Brahma Kumarism. Shiva does not talk to anyone in BK meditation (
and it is not Shiva as you might understand the term ... do not try and understand BKism from the ordinary Hindu point of view). This is entirely false. She is deluding you and therefore disrespecting you.
Again, presume she is being prompted and set up by the women at the center what to say.
Now, strangely enough, the two examples you give are actually against BKism, e.g. poor relationships with family and poor career, but are very common maladaptions of Brahma Kumarism and you can tell her so with confidence. BKism is meant to be "the family path", individuals are meant to remain "in the household", they are meant to not just fulfil their worldly responsibilities but do so with honours and to give the example of being a "true angel" and so, therefore, her bad example is disservice or defamation of her Baba. Looking after her parents are part of her karma, not to neglect them ... if ever you go to the BK center again, then you can ask them if these are true "according to The Knowledge (Gyan), Murlis (teachings) or Baba (their god spirit)". They are true.
The same goes for her career, she is meant to be setting a divine example, not destroying herself or giving a poor impression ... but, as I said, this is common because they teach adherents the world is going to end soon and so they become nihilistic. I think, partly, BKism is also used as an excuse for laziness on the followers behalf ... it is easier and more pleasant to day dream of fantasies and make believe and that is largely what BKism is.
Now, here, you may have some warnings for her that she might list. I say "might" because they are told not to listen to "ignorant, impure, non-BK shudras" like you. By the teachings of the religion, you are portrayed a devilish and an obstruction. The warnings for her are that the BKs have predicted the End of the World, called Vinash or Destruction, for decades and the predictions have failed; WWII, 1950, 1976, mid-1980s (1986) to mid-1990s, Year 2000 and so on. They keep say, "two to three years".
Many youngsters have thrown away their lives and careers, and women their families, on such false predictions.
Now, the answer she will give is that, "Baba has never given a date for Destruction" or "It's not Destruction, it's Transformation" ... but both of these are false. People here have been involved with the BKs since the 1970s and know the religion better than newcomers who have all this hidden from them. It is true that "Baba" never gave a specific date, e.g. 2 May 2013, but he has given specific years. It is also not just the "churnings" (thoughts) of followers, it is direct from the top of the religion (that is the other excuse she will use). You have to try and break through the mental conditioning by pre-empting what they have told her to think and say ... to be honest, they are really not that deep.
This is again where you have to draw a very strict line and not support her nor the BKs through her. If she leaves and gives up her own family, who will support her when she gets old?
Now, the BKs are encouraging her to believe she will never get old, that Destruction (End of the World) will happen and then she will go back to the spiritual world and then reincarnate in Heave on Earth. They may even be telling her she was a BK in her last life and has come back to serve them again.
The BKs offer no pension, no holidays, no pay, no guarantees. The BKs are a pyramid sales outfit. Only a few example BKs can be paid for and kept by the BKWSU, all the rest must pay, or prove their value by pulling in donations. They seem very attractive to young girls with no ideas of the practicalities but the practicalities are it's a 24 hour, 7 days a week job for the rest of your life ... and if she has no family money to live off, then she will have to work to support herself on top. There is no guarantees the BKs will and she will have to work 10s harder to get anything from them.
Therefore, my advice to your family is ... don't allow the BKs to exploit your emotions towards your daughter, nor exploit your cultural beliefs and standards (dowry etc). Allow her to go and experiment *BUT* give her a full taste of BK life. Do not support her, leave her or the BKs to support herself.
Offer the chance to choose her own partner (avoid the risk she choses a fake BK one), offer to take her back if she decides she does not want BK life ... but don't accept any half and half compromise with the BKs. If they want her, they must take her and get no money ... not now; not when her parents die.
This is my primary advice to you, please feel free to comment and ask any questions you want. Any further information you can give us will be helpful, e.g. how old is she, is it is small center etc?
The Brahma Kumaris are parasites on society. They seduce the rich and powerful and poison young people's mind then live off the former's donations and the latter's free labour. The BKWSU is a madhouse playing out a psychodrama based on events which happened in the 1930s Sind. I hope someone in India can put an end to them one day and expose them for what they are. They have been teachings heaven on earth will come in 2036, just near enough for people to gamble their lives, just far enough way so that people will forget when the prediction fails yet again as in did in the past.