Minesh wrote:@Enlightened: I share a similar background to yours and can say it took me around 10 years to heal and even then I would say that there is still some 'BKness' left ... Are your parents still in Gyan and if so are they supportive of your position? It's especially harder when family are also BKs as the last thing you want as a kid, teenager and even as an adult is to disappoint them and that just increases the pressure to continue along the BK path.
Hi Minesh
I don't think the BKness will ever completely go away from our psyche, however, I try not to give any of it energy. I not only have issues with onions and garlics but on every level of my life ... it's almost impossible for me to be who I am because I never really got an opportunity to know who I am, know what I like, what I want, what I enjoy, what I don't enjoy etc etc ... BKness haunts my life on a subconscious level.
As to how much time it takes each one to heal, that varies depending on each individual. In my case, I was like a sponge that soaked in everything I was told by the BKs because things were conveyed in a very rigid manner in the 1970s both to children and adults. Furthermore, I was physically molested by BK members several times and also sexually abused by BK members. I had no real friends within the BKs or outside the BKs. I felt extremely lonely within the BKs and even now outside the BKs.
As it is, it's quite challenging to make friendships in the real world. I mean real friends or friends that are likeminded. Even more challenging with all the baggage I am carrying.
I have to change my psyche considerably to feel connected to the real world because I feel like I live in a bubble most of the time, or I feel alienated from the real world and a huge sense of being dissociated.
I am not sure how many of my posts you have read, however, one parent was a BK and one wasn't. Both of my parents have died now but I did leave the BK organisation whilst my BK parent was alive and so I did feel the pressure to please them. But I was resilient and adamant not to be sucked into the BK organisation again. The BKs did try to suck me back into their organisation when my BK parent died and I did have connection with them for a while at that time, but
MY GUT INSTINCT TOLD ME TO KEEP AWAY.
I don't have any connection with the BKs now. I am finding ways to recover from all this brainwashing and traumas. I find it very challenging to make real friendships or relationships on many levels and just keep praying and hoping that one day I find like-minded friendships in my life.
It's not easy for me to SNAP out of all this because of the intensity of my experiences and traumas. But I am trying to learn how to live with and cope with the consequences it has left me with.
I hope this answers your questions Minesh.
Regards
Enlightened