Why am I always worrying?

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shalinisweet

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Why am I always worrying?

Post15 Jan 2014

Hi Sister Shivani,

I saw your program on Astha Chanel. I like you very much. I always fear about god. Why am I always worrying? I need to talk with you. How can possible it.

Please reply me ...

Thanks
Shalini
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Pink Panther

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Re: Why am I always worrying?

Post15 Jan 2014

Dear Shalini Sweet

Sister Shivani is a ”face” for the Brahma Kumaris organisation. She has successfully ”fronted” that program because she ”presents” well - it is a skill that can be learnt.

She does not, however, write on these forums (although she would be welcome to, to answer many questions that we here would have!).

This forum is used by people who were deeply involved with the BKs but left, for many reasons.

You can learn a lot, about seeing through facades to what is behind, by reading some of the stories here.

Sure, this is not a site giving the promotional view of the BKs - they can speak for themselves. These are stories of real people who have seen different sides, not just the window dressing.
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ex-l

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Re: Why am I always worrying?

Post15 Jan 2014

The programme is also a 'paid for' advertisement. It's not real. It's staged to make her and the BKs look good.

As far as you problem of worrying, why do you think?

Often worrying is just taught to us by our parents. We saw our mother/parents worry and learned from them that is the way to be without realising it when we were children.

Whoever taught you to "fear god" was a king of abuser.

Why do you fear god? Who gave you the idea that you should?

It's just a habit like any other habit. You can stop if you want to. 99.999% of the time thinking about gods and superstitions is an absolute waste of time. People give us such ideas when we are young to control us, and then they remain in the back of our mind for a long time.

I'd avoid entering the Brahma Kumaris as they will only exploit your ideas of god.

Don't believe anything without seeing it with your own ideas. There probably are no gods and, certainly, they have very little effect in this world. Life goes on perfectly without them.

So rather than talk of god, talk of reality and what is happening in your own life that you are so worried about?

arvind.giri

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Re: Why am I always worrying?

Post16 Jan 2014

Don't fear from God. As Guru Nanak said he is 'Nirver'....which means he doesn't hold anything against anyone. As you would forgive your child or your loved ones so does he.....Whenever this thought comes next time....just confront that thought with above thought.....and ask that thought to not come again.....It will help....

Om Shanti !!!
Arvind

shalinisweet

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Re: Why am I always worrying?

Post19 Feb 2014

Thanks to all of you.

I am not a part of BK but i believe so much on BK (Om Shanti).
I have some problem about my thoughts. I have no way to describe my problem, that's why i post my thoughts here.

Actually i always fear about god. Like i feel that i wish something wrong. Every time i feel, any work i do i feel this thoughts. That time i was not saying any thing but i feel. and after that i have made bad story.

I need to talk every things in detail. Can i post here or what i do. Please suggest me.

arvind.giri

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Re: Why am I always worrying?

Post19 Feb 2014

Shalini,

The first thing is, we need to break this thought cycle. It may require some effort but it can be done. Also instead of feeling pain/worry, we need to provide a right counter thought to this thought each time it comes, so that it never comes in future again.

You may post your problem here, but if you are not comfortable in posting it here you may contact me ...

Fear/Stress/Pain is not natural. Happiness and peace is natural. Fear/Stress/Pain are diseases which need to be properly cured.

Arvind
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Pink Panther

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Re: Why am I always worrying?

Post19 Feb 2014

arvind.giri wrote:Happiness and peace is natural. Fear/Stress/Pain are diseases which need to be properly cured.

By what rationale can you say these are diseases?

They are signs that there is something wrong - a gift of nature to be grateful for. Sure they are ”unpleasant" when excessive, but isn’t unpleasantness itself a signal of things to avoid, eg unpleasant smell warns of possibly rotten food etc?

Pain - if you cut your foot, to not experience pain is to be ignorant of the damage done and to risk further damage, potentially loss of your foot. The danger from leprosy, for example, is not so much the disease itself as the loss of feeling, so that injuries go untreated, become infected and lead to amputations etc.

Fear - If you have no fear, you will lose reflexive responses that keep you safe. Proportionate fear is a safety mechanism, disproportionate fear is a ”phobia”, Courage is overcoming fear, to be without fear is to be foolhardy.

Stress - heightens awareness and causes biochemical changes to allow increased performance in demanding situations. To just stand up requires stress on muscles and bones. Any challenge creates stress. Some people call this ”work", others ”exercise”, some call it ”fun".

For a building to not fall requires stresses to fall in the correct areas of the structure. An archway is, in effect, a series of counter-stresses.

Ongoing and excessive stress - otherwise called ”distress” - is what is damaging.

You would not know anything is wrong or that anything is dangerous without pain and fear. You would die numb and none the wiser, quicksmart, without them.

Denial is a narcotic that is far more dangerous.
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ex-l

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Re: Why am I always worrying?

Post19 Feb 2014

shalinisweet wrote:I need to talk every things in detail. Can i post here or what i do. Please suggest me.


Please do.

Please be very honest and specific.

It's fair to say that at present you have only seen the 'external advertising' the Brahma Kumaris present. We have had experience with them since the 1970s or 80s.

I am guessing that either this fear of god was put into at an early age, e.g. you inherited it from your family (perhaps someone had a traumatic experience), or that you have a generally fearful disposition and are just focusing it on the gods.

If I were you, and we were all a little like you once, I'd do a little experiment and go somewhere private and do *completely* the opposite to what you think a god would like ... and then wait and see if anything happens. I can tell you know, it won't ... and anything unfortunate that happens to you at any future time in your life is, basically, just an unavoidable random event. The fear of gods and philosophies such as karma have just been used to control the mass of people by small elites who then live off them, e.g. priests and Brahma Kumari center-in-charges.

A large part of Brahma Kumarism is just control followers so they give money and work for free. Please avoid doing so.
arvind.giri wrote:Fear/Stress/Pain is not natural. Happiness and peace is natural. Fear/Stress/Pain are diseases which need to be properly cured.

Let's be clear about this from a BK point of view.
    Firstly, the BK point of view is that "Fear/Stress/Pain" is not only "natural", it is unavoidable and increasing so in the second 2,500 years of their 5,000 year Cycle of Time until this time where it ought to be at its peak (Fag End of Kalpa).

    Secondly, the BK point of view is that "Happiness and peace" is only "natural" in the first 2,500 years of their 5,000 year Cycle of Time (Kalpa).

Therefore, "Fear/Stress/Pain" can only be "properly cured" by being killed during a nuclear holocaust, civil war or natural disaster and then being reborn in Sat Yuga.

All of the rest of the time, you are going to be experiencing them. The promise of a "healthy" life from of all this is a somewhat false inducement used to lead individuals into surrendering their time, money and free labour to the Brahma Kumaris' religio-political PR campaign. Correct me if I am wrong.

It's somewhat false advertising ... the BKs target vulnerable individuals who are suffering or insecure in someway and dangle a carrot of hope in front of them. A few try it, most give up and leave, for a few the trance meditation/hypnosis - and the false sense of superiority - provides some alternative stimulus, and the BK identity a mask behind which to hide.

If we look at the lives of their leaders, there is little evidence of "health". Hypnosis and self-hypnosis could be either useful or damaging in masking pains and anxiety. It would depend on how it was used and to what end.

The problems we have with the Brahma Kumaris are a) the end intention to which it is being used, and b) the lack of proper skills, training and ethical framework within which they practise.

The BKs basically have no ethics ... a large part of their activity is cult-like and designed to feed the cult with money and new workers. A large part of that activity is false and manipulative. They are not in the business of mental health care nor, in my opinion, even really care.

At best, BKism is some weird kind of ego trip in which one is induced to feel special by being reduced to a child-like state and told fairy stories. Any further claims on their behalf ought to be supported with proper medical evidence and individuals protected with proper ethical frameworks.

Sitting for long periods of time may also improve one's patience and stoic nature, but that is hardly unique to BKism.

Just sitting (e.g. Vipassana, Ch'an etc), without all the other BK psychic and cultural baggage and falsehoods, is probably a better thing to do. In my experience and others', being initiated into BKism leaves a longer lasting confusion that may block or effect other treatments and obstruct one from finding the genuine help one really needs, or looking at oneself with one's own priorities - not the BKWSU's bank balance or center-in-charges' indulgences - in mind.
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Pink Panther

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Re: Why am I always worrying?

Post20 Feb 2014

Further to this discussion re: Arvind's point, which has sidetracked us ... about what is natural and unnatural...

The BKs will name your experience of pain, fear and suffering as ”your” karma, and they will name your experience of happiness and peace as their teachings or Baba’s blessings.

jann

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Re: Why am I always worrying?

Post20 Feb 2014

Fear/Stress/Pain is not natural. Happiness and peace is natural. Fear/Stress/Pain are diseases which need to be properly cured.

Fear, stress and pain are NOT diseases but only considered to be diseases by people who want to sell you some cure in an unnatural way.

The trick is that this kind of people feed you even more fear, stress and pain to never find happiness and peace other than on their conditions which has nothing to do with your fear, stress and pain but only their effort to recruit a vulnerable person to finally drag them to some BK center which is NOT a facility for social work but for cult-work.
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Mr Green

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Re: Why am I always worrying?

Post20 Feb 2014

You need to learn to love and accept yourself independant of others desires.

arvind.giri

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Re: Why am I always worrying?

Post27 Feb 2014

Well, I sincerely believe that Fear/Stress/Pain is not natural. Happiness and peace is natural. Fear/Stress/Pain are diseases which need to be properly cured.

First of all, when I said that it was not for physical stress or pain but for mental stress and pain. Though physical stress or pain is sometimes unavoidable but mental stress or pain can definitely be avoided. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes". Same is true for fear/stress/pain, more wrong thoughts we create more pain we feel. is not it? Also different persons will not feel same level of stress in same situation, so it means immunity also plays major role in stress. Some people simply move on from the situation but some find it difficult to get rid of it. Again depends on what kind of thoughts are being created by former vs later.

That is why I said that, to overcome stress or painful past, we need to create right thoughts. Wrong/Negative thoughts would not solve the problem and further increase our pain.

As far as the word 'natural' is concerned, I feel now a days we often confuse it with 'ubiquitous'. Yes, stress is present everywhere nowadays, but that doesn't mean that we should label it as natural, should we? Suppose after few years a new type of cancer spreads across the world and a large section of population is affected by the same. Would we say it is natural to have cancer? Or would we justify it by saying that, "until you have cancer, you won't know how good it feels to live happily without cancer"?

Another thing is, if someone dies out of stress, will we say he died natural death? But when someone dies peacefully, we say he died his natural death. is not it?

If anything is natural, it will not give you pain. e.g. when we travel we might have to sleep in sitting position. But is sleeping in sitting position natural? No. Is it comfortable? No. That is why Airlines charge more for business tickets :).

In my opinion, stress/fear/pain is a set of wrong/negative thoughts and happiness is just one right thought away. The thought which can nullify the effect of negative thoughts and imbibe the confidence in a person, e.g. some people may feel stress/pain because they might not have got what they wanted to achieve. Their stress/pain will go away the moment a right thought strikes their mind that whatever we have achieved so far in life is already very much, there are people who even don't have that much; or I tried my best, let me try again. In fact, negative thought in above case will not be helping them but taking them ever farther away from their goals.
... after that i have made bad story.

I wish I could help you.

If it is about a relationship you may try following (excerpts from my last speech about relationship)
"Suppose there is a person, who was once a friend of yours. Then their happened some confusion and now you both are not on good terms. And whenever you encounter each other you both feel uncomfortable.

So what is the solution?

It might be other person’s mistake or it might be confusion, but the solution is to forgive and forget. If we’ll forgive him/her we will be forgiving ourselves because we too feel uncomfortable. But forgiving is easier said than done, right? To forget you need to forgive first and how can we forgive until there is some negativity in our mind for that person. So we need to first cleanup negativity. And how do we cleanup negativity? By positivity. Check your each and every thought about that person and for each negative thought, push one positive thought. Initially, it may be tough to even find a positive thought about him/her, but there must be some. Find at-least one positive thing about that person (and everyone has some positivity). At second stage, it will automatically happen that for each negative thought, a positive thought will automatically come. At third stage, you will have only positive thoughts about that person.

Now imagine, you encounter that person somewhere, but all you have is positive thoughts for him. Will you feel discomfort? And how easy will it become to approach that person. You even don’t need to say anything, the other person will feel the positive vibrations from you.

If it is about something done by you in the past which later turned out a wrong decision. Just remember that whatever decision you took was right at that point of time with the intellect and experience you had. Now you have more experience and better intellect, so you won't do the same in future. Since you cannot change the past, so why to think about it? Just promise yourself that you won't repeat that in future and move on :).
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Pink Panther

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Re: Why am I always worrying?

Post27 Feb 2014

Arvind: If anything is natural, it will not give you pain.

It is natural to be injured and feel the pain of that injury (or even die), if you trip and fall off a ledge.
It is natural to fear what will happen if you fell from the ledge, so you are careful or you avoid it.

It is natural to feel distressed if your child is injured or threatened.

If a dacoit broke into your house and tried to kidnap your baby for ransom, it is natural to react violently against him. It is a trait amongst most animals,especially mammals. What would you do?

The word Natural and Nature are from Latin natura ‘birth, nature, quality,’ from nat- ‘born,’ from the verb nasci, e.g. nativity, native, innate.

What is born from an event (eg a baby from copulation, a fire from a lightning strike), or what something is born with eg a baby born with red hair, or with a hole in the heart - these are natural. If a baby is born deformed becauseparents were alcoholics, it is a natural outcome it’s what happens when alcohol affects certain kinds of DNA.

To empathise means to feel what the other is feeling, it also the meaning of ”com-passion” i.e. by mirroring the suffering of others we may be motivated to work to develop medical procedures to repair a baby’s natural birth condition, even if it means overcoming stressful failures and disappointments along the way. To feel stress is part of human capacity.
As far as the word 'natural' is concerned, I feel now a days we often confuse it with 'ubiquitous'.

And too often many confuse ”natural" with what is ”ideal”.

Your concern (or rather, your belief) seems to be about ”unnecessary” or ”inappropriate” fear, pain, stress.

Your example of cancer is wrong. It is a natural product of factors we are still learning about. Cancer is essentially cells that are immortal, they will not die like normal, healthy cells, they keep growing and multiplying.

I’d suggest desiring immortality of self is a cancer - of the ego.
In my opinion, stress/fear/pain is a set of wrong/negative thoughts

Sociopaths and psychopaths, by definition, do not feel stress, pain or fear as they commit their crimes.

That is, for the majority of us, fear, pain and stress are messengers of ”wrong” and indeed prevent us from harming others as much as harming ourselves. They are signals. You are "shooting the messenger".
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ex-l

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Re: Why am I always worrying?

Post27 Feb 2014

    * Arvind, we've asked a few times for your introduction as a BK. Would you give it to us?

    You can be vague about your location/identity etc (anything that would identify you personally) but tell us stuff like how long you have been in the BKWSU, how pukka you are, what you do for them, your position at your center etc.

    Thanks
BTW, I think worrying can also have physiological roots which would need to be considered ... it's not all bound to soul or past trauma etc. Some people just tend to it as some tend to sensitivity or over-emotionality. It also involves that awful thing according to the BKWSU ... the body and body chemistry. Particularly brain chemistry which is not universal across all humanity.

Even if you still believe in the soul ... the brain is the soil the soul is planted in and interfaces with the world through. If the brain and body are being starved of nutrients, or there is some kind of physical imbalance, all sorts of things can happen.

This is why I am against simplistic, new agey type, feel good sound bites ... the "Sister Shivani Effect" many come seeking answers from. No disrespect to women intended here ... but it's really just at the level of "women's magazine" type chatter. Problems are deeply personally and require personal attention, not "one size fits all" fixes like Janki doles out.

BKs tend to absolutely disregard or even exploit bodily influences ... and, of course, the vast majority - Didis and Dadi included - have no qualifications at all to be giving advice about personal issues or problems at all. They are basically just using them to protect their income, e.g. "You have a problem? Good, we have a fix, here surrender your mind, body, wealth and property to us".


Yes, I'd say Brahma Kumarism is highly unnatural and much intent on silencing natural warnings or intuitions as many of them naturally warn against what is going in within BKism.

From a BK point of view, it seems they define "natural" as "what happens in the Golden and Silver Age" according to their theory of time ... but that's not quite logical as it is *only* for them, i.e. they believe only 900,000 to 330 million BK souls get to experience heaven on earth. There one could argue fear, distress, pain etc is "natural" for the rest of humanity as, for eternity according to the BKs, it is all that they experience.

Or perhaps they consider what is "natural" is the state of the soul in the Soul World ... according to their theory. But, again, that does not quite follow as either it only spends a short time there, or it is unconscious/unaware there.

It's funny but that whole concept/experience/esoteric idea has almost disappeared from BKism as it rushes headlong into marketing itself as a corporate consulting network or offering agony aunt services. If, according to their theory, some souls only spend a fraction of time in the Soul World, what is "natural"?

because.parmeshwar

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Re: Why am I always worrying?

Post27 Feb 2014

arvind wrote:some people may feel stress/pain because they might not have got what they wanted to achieve.

This doesn't applies to BKs. They are neither in stress nor they are in pain even after not getting what they wanted to achieve(Heaven on Earth by year 2036).

And now they know very well that they are never going to achieve what they wanted. So they adapted shamelessness under the mask of soul consciousness
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