Married only two years and am three months pregnant

for ex-BKs, exiting BKs, Friends & Family of BKs and newcomers to the forum.
  • Message
  • Author
User avatar

Pink Panther

  • Posts: 1885
  • Joined: 14 Feb 2013

Re: Married only two years and am three months pregnant

Post03 Jan 2015

Mbbhatt has done us a service. He reminds us of the abominable BK phrase ”mother in bondage”. This phrase which has common currency in the BK world reveals the perverted BK attitude to what all other human societies throughout history have considered as most sacred.

Why is this so? Is it possible that the Om Mandli/ PBKIVV was a reaction to child abuse, sexual abuse and domestic violence, were its founders victims? We know some were. Why such ongoing derogatory language against motherhood itself, against social responsibilities and duties and normal human fulfilment - given that it is those who do that feed the mouths of the non-productive ‘Brahmin’ caste?

They break the 5th commandment of the Ten in the jewish Torah
"Honour thy Father and thy mother"

Our Rabbis taught: It says, 'Honour your Father and your mother' (Exodus 20:12). By using the same terminology, the Torah compares the honour you owe your Father and mother to the honour you have to give to the Almighty. It also says, 'Every person must respect his mother and his Father' (Leviticus 19:3), and it says, 'God your Lord you shall respect, Him you shall serve' (Deuteronomy 10:20). (Here the same word, -respect- is used.) The Torah therefore equates the respect you owe your parents with the respect you must show God. Furthermore it says, 'Whoever curses his Father or mother shall be put to death' (Exodus 21:17). And furthermore it says, 'Anyone that curses God shall bear his sin' (Leviticus 24.-15). By using the same terms the Torah compares cursing of parents with cursing the Almighty.

— Talmud Kiddushin 31

and the Islamic teachings ...
A man came to the Prophet and said: O Messenger of Allah! Who from amongst mankind warrants the best companionship from me? He replied: "Your mother." The man asked: Then who? So he replied: "Your mother." The man then asked: Then who? So the Prophet replied again: "Your mother." The man then asked: Then who? So he replied: "Then your Father."

- (Sahîh Bukhârî 5971 and Sahîh Muslim 7/2)

Buddhism
Even as a mother protects with her life Her child, her only child,
So with a boundless heart
Should one cherish al living beings

- Metta Sutta, Sutta Nipata 143-151

and
Conclusion

As the Theravadin Buddhist monk and historian, Walpola Rahula ob- serves, "The love of a mother for her child is neither Buddhist nor Christian: it is mother love" (1978: 6). Mother love is not unique to Buddhism. The image of a mother breastfeeding her baby is one of the most potent images of human love (Davidson and Harrington, 2002: 71). True peace lies within each of us, whether Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Jew, or any of the other numerous spiritual practices and religions of the world, and it can be found by reconnecting with the power of our mother's love, not the martyred motherhood of patriarchy but the guilt-free affection that nurtured us when we were children. Sharing this love with the world as a mother shares her love with her children is one avenue toward peace and may be our greatest gift to another.

- Mother Love by Karen Villanueva, Journal of theAssociationfor Research on Mothering

What do the BKs think?

Regardless of the quality of love, loyalty and kindness in a family, BKs consider family are obstacles, children who are "born of lust” - regardless of whether love and conscious choice was made to conceive - are at best, ”karmic accounts” (many BK parents jokingly call their kids their 'karmic accounts') if not "scorpions and lizards", close families are reduced to being considered ”lokik” Iron Aged family. No question to honour parents as equal to God as per Torah, or as mother being the main companion as per Islam, BKs consider mother’s food as full of body conscious vibrations.

And as for considering the whole world and all sentient beings as a mother would consider her child, you all know what the BKs teach about the rest of the world and all non-BKs, especially animals.
User avatar

ex-l

ex-BK

  • Posts: 10661
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: Married only two years and am three months pregnant

Post04 Jan 2015

Pink Panther wrote:Mbbhatt ... reminds us of the abominable BK phrase ”mother in bondage”. This phrase which has common currency in the BK world reveals the perverted BK attitude to what all other human societies throughout history have considered as most sacred.

Why is this so? Is it possible that the Om Mandli/ PBKIVV was a reaction to child abuse, sexual abuse and domestic violence, were its founders victims? We know some were. Why such ongoing derogatory language against motherhood itself, against social responsibilities and duties and normal human fulfilment - given that it is those who do that feed the mouths of the non-productive ‘Brahmin’ caste?

One would have to study the nature of 'mother love' in Hindu society as a whole especially where loveless arranged marriages for business purposes are the norm. A habit some have defined as "community sanctioned rape". Certainly from the BK history, there were cases in the community of older men in their middle ages being married to teen age girls. Indeed, what was Lekhraj Kirpalani's tryst with Om Radhe all about? Not much further.

From my reading, the majority of the "original jewel" princesses were pretty spoilt, at least materially and their "suffering" highly exaggerated. What the BKs don't tell in their history is that in the early days they were spoilt by Lekhraj Kirpalani as well ... and had servants running around the Om Mandli looking after them.

Rather than abused or neglected by their non-BK parents, I'd be looking more at abuse or neglect by their BK parents, i.e. the mother who wanted to absorb herself in Loverboy Kirpalani. What happened to the kids then? Did they get bundled off out of the way to looked after by the servants?

Then the next level is purely down to business and the management of resources. That was the way the Bhaibund did business, that was the way Lekhraj Kirpalani grew up ... they are tough on their juniors - who basically work as unpaid apprentices - until they earn their place as equals. Lekhraj Kirpalani appears to have applied the same system to enculturating women into his international religious-business cult.

The men, as we know, were separated from family and children general far away from their community ... hence emotional detachment - or put simply toughing up and overcoming homesickness - was the norm. No young man could have a family until he could afford it, never mind take one on business ... it was all about cutting margins and maximising profits and it remains, I would argue, at the heart of the BKs.

Infants are costly financially and in time and energy as any post-parents will tell you. If a child cries, it needs attention. Even God Kirpalani has to wait.

And, therefore, what about this poor woman's case? They should be saying to her stick away for the next 10 or so years ... they should never have accepted her as a student ... and not be setting her up for all sorts of shames and regrets to exploit. Nor meddling in her family affairs.

Flat out the next two or three years are going to 100% that child's, and she needs 100% love and support from her husband and in-laws. Not to be dabbling in an institutionally dishonest End of the World cult who want to milk her.

Affected BK

questioning BK

  • Posts: 90
  • Joined: 30 Apr 2010

Re: Married only two years and am three months pregnant

Post06 Jan 2015

Even if she goes for normal delivery, by this time she must have planted with the rubbish seeds of guilt in her sub-conscious that, "oh ... why did not she me meet the BKs 2 years back ...". The child will be of no happiness for her ...

BKs killed her motherly love, before she become mother.

It's a crime actually ...

because.parmeshwar

exiting BK

  • Posts: 303
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2009

Re: Married only two years and am three months pregnant

Post07 Jan 2015

I rescued safely. Now, I can say that I am out of the dangerous dogma. All I lost is love of my siblings and regret that I have to stay alone in my entire life. But, I am fortunate that I have saved myself and others from this never happening end of the world cult. I am now able to accept the situations and people of the real world.

Thanks to this website.
User avatar

Pink Panther

  • Posts: 1885
  • Joined: 14 Feb 2013

Re: Married only two years and am three months pregnant

Post07 Jan 2015

b.p - if ever there was closeness with your siblings that can be restored. Apologise for any offence given, admit your stupidity and spend time enjoying each others company. Worked for me.

because.parmeshwar

exiting BK

  • Posts: 303
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2009

Re: Married only two years and am three months pregnant

Post08 Jan 2015

Thanks PP.

The stupidity is beyond the imagination of my lokiks. My Brother is very successful in his career and family. I was also following his footprints and successful academically before getting in to the cult. Now, if I admit and explain it to them it will be very funny and of no value for them, and they will not even understand it.

So I decided to go on with my life all alone ... that's my destiny, that was my heritage given by BKs.
User avatar

Pink Panther

  • Posts: 1885
  • Joined: 14 Feb 2013

Re: Married only two years and am three months pregnant

Post08 Jan 2015

Blood is thicker than most things. If they grew up together, siblings will love deeply or hate deeply - and either way it can often be unspoken. It is rare that siblings are indifferent to each other.

Sounds to me that you assume you are of no value to them, or you are expressing fear of rejection or feel inadequate in comparison - in your own mind.

My experience with extended families is that siblings and cousins and so on do tend to accept each others’ life paths, as long as you are doing honest work for honest pay, no matter how humble. Time heals the wounds, and those that don’t are wise reminders of past follies. Trust your biology.
User avatar

ex-l

ex-BK

  • Posts: 10661
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: Married only two years and am three months pregnant

Post08 Jan 2015

Sound like good advice and time to stop punishing yourself, bp ... unless, of course, other reasons and incompatibilities leads you to not want to associate with them.

If it's too much to do so in person, sometimes it's easier to eat humble pie, express you emotions and apologise by letter.

The thing to remember is, you were a victim of a highly skilled and manipulative brainwashing cult using hypnotism and other spiritual influences to re-write you personality to serve them. You meant well and had very sincere intentions to begin with ... but you were manipulated and exploited.

You were literally driven out of your own mind by the BKs.

I think if you admit that to them, and emphasise that you are out and have re-gained your own mind ... then things will become better for you.

You may still want to remain more independent and not fall back into the position you were before, that is understandable.

Sometimes we use cults to do just that ... to change our position in the power balance of our family when it makes us unhappy. If not, try to make a new "family" of likeminded friends.

Humans need company. If we starve ourselves of it, we become imbalanced.

because.parmeshwar

exiting BK

  • Posts: 303
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2009

Re: Married only two years and am three months pregnant

Post10 Jan 2015

Thanks PP and ex-l

We are living jointly with different life setups. I live separately upstairs, with my parents. He lives with his family (wife and son). He do not want to communicate to me at all. The communication is stopped for more than three years. He knows that i am no longer going to BKs, but still he fears that i will swallow his up-stair portion and sell it out(as he has registered the upper portion in my name). He is not co-operating me in any direction. He wants to move me out which is not possible for me due to high property rates(Earlier due to end of the world phobia i did not made anything for myself which was much cheaper at that time).

I am worried for the future that what will he do when my parents leave.
User avatar

Pink Panther

  • Posts: 1885
  • Joined: 14 Feb 2013

Re: Married only two years and am three months pregnant

Post10 Jan 2015

Sounds like your parents need to mediate, set things in a legal document, like a will.

because.parmeshwar

exiting BK

  • Posts: 303
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2009

Re: Married only two years and am three months pregnant

Post10 Jan 2015

Does BK’s meditation practices affects / influence other’s life, as many times i experience it that, if they are in favour of us, things go smoothly and normally, but if one goes against their words or demands the life gets affected badly. Being in their company makes us a type of person who is under the influence of others or tends to behave according to their wish and thoughts.

Please share your views and experience.
User avatar

Pink Panther

  • Posts: 1885
  • Joined: 14 Feb 2013

Re: Married only two years and am three months pregnant

Post10 Jan 2015

There is a tendency in BK world to become submissive and seek approval of others, especially ”senior” figures.

If you already have that tendency already before BK, it will become exaggerated and when you leave BK, along with all the other things, there will be potential for the "self-critic” to emerge to take the place of the external critics that were always there in other BKs.

It is not exclusive to BKs, but BK life encourages that tendency to distrust one’s instincts and look to ”ideal” or ”perfect” standards for guidance. ”Normal” is not good enough so one who thinks that way can never become content.

It also can leave one ineffectual, discouraged, always making excuses to oneself why you cannot do something e.g. there must be completely perfect preconditions before one embarks on a task, so one is constantly sabotaging oneself. Good enough is not good enough.

But remember, something is better than nothing.
Previous

Return to Newcomers

cron