Marriage in jeopardy

for ex-BKs, exiting BKs, Friends & Family of BKs and newcomers to the forum.
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because.parmeshwar

exiting BK

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Re: Marriage in jeopardy

Post17 Oct 2015

Sorry to know the damage caused to both of you.
BKism is the most hopeless religion I have ever seen.
They teach real husband and wife to become Brother and Sister.

And, on the other hand, the surrendered Brother and Sister get married and indulge in to sex and produce children. (The real case of Surekha bhen of Mumbai centre. She married to her so called spiritual student of her centre and produced child as well).

Wah, Baba, Wah ... and Wah, Drama, Wah ...

I know now what they call the Destruction ...

Yes ... they destroy ... they destroy the families ... They destroy the real love, care and affection which god gives ... They destroy the motherly feeling towards child.

YES, they ARE the destructive people.
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Pink Panther

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Re: Marriage in jeopardy

Post17 Oct 2015

Surika of Mumbai ? - is that the one who was in Santa Cruz and Vile Parle, second in command to Yogini?

If so, it shows now that the so-called Sangam Yuga is dragging on, many long term BKs who can’t bring themselves to acknowledge the fallibility of ”god's knowledge” find ways to compartmentalise their consciousness, splitting their cognisance in contradictory ways the same way they split mind from body, Brahmin from Shudra, senses from sensible, love from family i.e. cognitive dissonance.

Biology rules though. They desire children , love and affection and will sacrifice status in the hierarchy to have some human experience or they fall pray to dysfunctional eating, esoteric politics, robotic role play. Its a sad, bad situation.
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ex-l

ex-BKWSU

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Re: Marriage in jeopardy

Post17 Oct 2015

Just an aside for the original poster, consider and be aware of signs of growing, "parental alienation disorder" in your child as this is something we have seen and had reported by children of BKs.

If you don't know what "parental alienation disorder" is, look it up (link taken at random ... here).

because.parmeshwar wrote:YES, they ARE the destructive people.

And on the wealth they have stolen from those people, and the properties, cars and jewellery etc those people have donated, the BK leaders live in their Golden Age on earth using them like free servants.

Thank you very much for updating us on news from India that "senior" BKs are now marrying off there too. Please keep up dating us, and "dish the dirty" on the BKs' hypocrisy.

We knew about it in the West, e.g. leading BK adherent Brian Bacon who modernised them with their "corporate coaching" and "self management leadership" courses. He left his first wife, joined the BKs, built his business within BKism, and then left or became a demi-BK taking a beautiful wealthy BK Sister with him ... and he is still treated with respect by the Kirpalani Klansters, with a property right next door to the BKs Palladian Mansion.

Meanwhile, at the bottom of the pyramid, like these poor people and the village girls, the Kirpalani Klansters fool them by dividing and ruling families in order to strip those family of their assets, and feed the BK Empire with more free labourers.

An unpaid servants, an unpaid labourer with no rights, is a slave.

The joke is, with BKism, some how they have worked out a system where the slaves have to pay to join the kingdom!

I think they do it through manipulating very, very deep but subtle fears (Destruction, "your one and only opportunity for salvation" etc), or appealing to narcissism and vanity (making people feel special for being chosen, in on a big secret, "supreme" ... without actually having to do anything to be superior but say, "I am").

In truth, I wonder how removed that is from the clever salesmanship of a jeweller ... selling objects for huge sums that people really don't actually need and which really don't do anything except show off power and wealth?

"I give you a special offer, efendi ... once in a life bargain ... your life is worth nothing, it is empty ... this old world is dying ... you give me your worthless wealth, your impure land, your decrepit buildings and work for me for two or three years ... and in the future Golden Age, I will give you multi-millions, palaces of gold, jewels and flying machines!!! Work hard for me now and you won't have to work for 2,500 years!!!"

That's not made up, non-BKs. That's literally the BK mindset and equation.
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avidbkhater

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Re: Marriage in jeopardy

Post17 Oct 2015

Thank you again.

I do not believe she is serious when she is speaks about going back to India. Mainly because of financial constraints, she doesnt want to cause any troubles to her parents and he has nowhere else to go to.

We don't fight much but because of the disconnect we have hardly anything to talk to. We have grown apart in different directions. It is totally mechanical.

My son is currently five years old and I am aware about the psychological impact divorce could have on a kid. I am not sure if I should proceed in that direction now or after few years when my son is 10-11 years old.

She tries to talk to me but I hardly talk to her. Don't feel like talking to her at all because whenever we talk for more than few minutes it turns into argument because basically there is no common interest and our way of handling things and living life are now totally different.

Next time when I visit India I plan to visit a lawyer and get some advice. I have 2 properties in India and in one of the properties she is a co-owner. I am not sure if I should let it be or do something about it.
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ex-l

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Re: Marriage in jeopardy

Post17 Oct 2015

If they think there is money and property she will be given extra special treatment and allowed a degree of flexibility. The BKs play are willing to play a long game. I am surprised she has not planned to go to Mount Abu and take the kid there. They do special classes for kids which allows the adults to go off and meditate and attend classes.

What starts the argument?

With regards your property, put it in your child's name not hers. Fair enough, allow her the use of it until your child is grown up but make it clear it's not going to the Brahma Kumaris.

I am sorry to be so blunt, but we have seen what happens too many times with parents leaving their estate to the BKs instead of the family.

There is someone else having similar problems right now. How do you feel about approaching the centre directly?
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avidbkhater

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Re: Marriage in jeopardy

Post17 Oct 2015

Actually she has been wanting to go to Mt Abu.

She wants to go in Feb but I told her that's not possible because we want to go to India for vacation in July.

She went to mt Abu along with her entire family and our son last year when she went for a visit.

There are no centers near by. The center where she gave jewellery is in NY and since then we have relocated to CA.

She is still in touch with her Ahmedabad and Gandhinagar centers, where she started her relation with BK about 2.5 years ago.

Having it in kid's name makes more sense, agree with you.

Yes, she wants to take our son to Mt Abu whenever she gets a chance in future. Should I let her?

Argument mainly start due to difference in thoughts. For example, a couple of days ago she brought up topic of not consuming onion and garlic in food. When she gets over protective for our son. Half the time she is in her own world and doesn't pay attention to what I say or rather doesn't care and later on blames me for not telling her.

Keeps talking in BK language and references Baba and Murli every now and then.
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Pink Panther

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Re: Marriage in jeopardy

Post18 Oct 2015

Avid, your story is so similar to V78 who started this thread. Have you read it all through?

Are your wife’s parents BKs or sympathetic to BKs? Or are they maybe devout Hindus who see BKs as a cultural link to the homeland?

I’d even be wary of putting assets in your son’s name because he may become influenced enough when he is older to give it all over to the BKs anyway.

Off-topic - the BK Surika mentioned earlier is not who I thought it was. I got the name wrong, The person I was thinking of was Ansula (was I tricked by the three syllable rhythm!?) and have no idea where or what she is doing these days. She was a ”pretty” petite thing who was a little narcissistic, she endeared herself to westerners as she spoke excellent English. She’d be in her late 50s now so she’d unlikely to run off and get married!
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ex-l

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Re: Marriage in jeopardy

Post18 Oct 2015

Who introduced her to BKism?
avidbkhater wrote:Actually she has been wanting to go to Mt Abu. She wants to go in Feb but I told her that's not possible because we want to go to India for vacation in July.

She wants to go in February because that is when they believe "God" comes and possesses their spirit medium and speaks through her. It's the big occasion in the BK calendar. The BKs are being pressurised to go under the influence of, "Baba is coming less and less and one day will stop". Their spirit medium is becoming weaker and weaker.

Of course, for the cult, it's a great way for them to reap financial donations. They are encouraged to believe that donating at Mount Abu brings them more benefits.

Not being allowed to go, perhaps not having her own money to not go, must be saddening/frustrating her and building resentment.

It's reading more and more that she hooked as a BK. This "no onions and garlic" thing is a pure BKism. I'd argue that is just a way of dividing BKs from eating and socializing with non-BKs and controlling them. They say it's all about not overstimulating the mind ... apart from the lack of smell, which I can actually agree with, I see no evidence that the collective BK mind is actually that improved by it. It's just more of their "pose" as being high caste Brahmins.
Yes, she wants to take our son to Mt Abu whenever she gets a chance in future. Should I let her?

I think we can be sure that she is already feeding your son BKism and working him to indoctrinate both him into and, probably, against you.

Going to Abu will only encourage and intensify that but for the BKs it's also a way of increasing "soft power" influence ... by that I mean encouraging the idea that the BKs are very good and nice and what wonders they have done with all the money they have pulled in from adherents to create their heaven in the desert mountains.

Do you want to lose your son as well?
Keeps talking in BK language and references Baba and Murli every now and then.

Drip ... drip ... drip ...

I'd really like to encourage you to read over the forum and other people's experiences more and take more seriously the problem you have on your hands here. Often we find that with Indians, people don't take BKism seriously enough as some other kind of religion rather than just being a kind of Hinduism or a "Hinduism Lite" for women to do. It's not. It's very different. It's a high demand, supremacist, cultic End of the World religion.

This is why I would look to protecting your child in the USA first, if your business or career is in the USA.

How much about BK teachings do you know? I would really encourage you to study them to get an overview of what your wife is involved with, and then speak to her about that. They are highly irrational. I am not suggest you go on a course, we have a teacher training manual, here.

I don't know if you have done so, but once you have a good overview, you could attempt a rational discussion about them and the nature of cultic religions and brainwashing.

This is not likely to have an immediately positive response, it may even provoke a negative ego response, e.g. anger or upset from her, but it might plant some seeds in her mind and re-invigorate her rational thinking processes.

What this experience is going to demand of you is that you become educated about these issues too, e.g. "how cults work".

We can give you an idea about the pre-programmed BK responses so you can deflect them straight away.

Worst case scenario, you can start quoting the Murli back to her to support your point of view. For example, here are Murli quotes relating to the word, "husband".
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V78

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Re: Marriage in jeopardy

Post18 Oct 2015

Avidbkhater,

You are in a very serious problem. I can vouch whatever ex-I and Pink Panther as well as info on this site for BK is it is absolutely correct.

You need to cut your wife from her BK world completely. I am from Indian background too so based on our culture I will strongly suggest to inform your family members and her parents, if they are non BK, they will apply pressure on her to focus on the marriage. Your wife, due to BK influence, is having spiritual delusions. She may need therapy too. Also check if your wife is watching BK videos, Sister Shivani videos, or getting BK Murlis propaganda material on her email etc.

Read info on this forum very carefully, as it will be a eye opener, and once you know more about Bkism it will be easier to handle your wife. Once I learnt info from this site and challenged my wife with BK language she was literally shocked.

You are in a very big problem. Devote all your time and energy to save your marriage. BK is like a cancer, if not treated early will destroy your family.

Is your marriage legally registered in India or US?

As for me, my wife is completely under BK influence weaving a web of lies to suck me into this cult. And despite my best efforts and intentions, I am left with no other option but to get separated so that she can embrace her Baba and BK life.

Your wife may put all blame on you for marital discord because this is the way this cult teachings are. So don't let her go to Mt Abu and don't let your son go even near this cult at any cost.
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Pink Panther

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Re: Marriage in jeopardy

Post19 Oct 2015

V78 wrote:Once I learnt info from this site and challenged my wife with BK language she was literally shocked.
...
As for me, my wife is completely under BK influence weaving a web of lies to suck me into this cult. And despite my best efforts and intentions, I am left with no other option but to get separated so that she can embrace her Baba and BK life.

Your wife may put all blame on you for marital discord because this is the way this cult teachings are. So don't let her go to Mt Abu and don't let your son go even near this cult at any cost.

I was hoping you would update us, V78. When you said you told her of what you’d found and she was shocked, I thought, for a moment, there was better news for you, but the later part belies that.

My attitude is that people have every right to believe or do what they want as individuals, the right to make stupid mistakes the way everyone makes stupid mistakes, and hopefully learn from them as some do.

However, once people have entered into a vow of marriage, with or without children, they have agreed to something else, they are no longer ”an individual”. What they do has direct impact on a relationship which they had vowed was to be sacrosanct.
sacrosanct- regarded as too important or valuable to be interfered with.

ORIGIN :from Latin sacrosanctus, from sacroby a sacred rite’ (ablative of sacrum) + sanctus ‘holy’ and sacrare, from sacer, sacr- ‘holy’..

In the Western wedding vow, most vows, religious or secular, say ”... to the exclusion of all others” or something very similar. For the sake of her own integrity, your wife/wives needs to be honest about whether to honour the vow or not.

They can’t have it both ways : either their Baba is real and has been placed ahead of the marital unit, is now ”in-between” (as the Murli instructs) therefore the marriage vow has been broken and is a sham, or they have to acknowledge their Baba is not a real ”other” being but it's a delusion, wishful thinking, and she is wanting to take advantage of what ”marriage” offers but not give back fully into it, to keep you at a distance, behind their BK Baba.

That is, marriage has at its core the primacy of emotional, physical, financial and familial unity, concomitant with the unity of purpose in building a life together.

BK teachings oppose this, for a BK, their Baba and their BK family takes primacy, yours no longer exists except as a way to fund and feed the BK ”project".
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V78

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Re: Marriage in jeopardy

Post19 Oct 2015

The shock and disbelief was as her bubble of lies burst open and she had no way to defend what I was talking about after learning about her cult from here.

I am deliberately keeping a low profile as I am working to sort out legal issues. Once it get over, I will provide you with details as I have some more information to expose immoral activities of her cult.

Can you guys please provide me with some Murli quotes telling BKs to be honest or truthful.
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V78

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Re: Marriage in jeopardy

Post19 Oct 2015

As regards avidbkhater, marital counselling is also a option if your partner agrees to it. Since she is financially dependent on you there is a possibility you may able to take her out from this cult ...
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ex-l

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Re: Marriage in jeopardy

Post19 Oct 2015

Pink Panther wrote:My attitude is that people have every right to believe or do what they want as individuals, the right to make stupid mistakes the way everyone makes stupid mistakes, and hopefully learn from them as some do.

I understand and agree with the "as individuals" part of your equation, and with the mutual responsibility of a couple to the welfare of their family unit first and foremost. It's not just even about the respect for the other, it's also about the value given to a "solemn vow". Fair enough, there were good grounds for divorce laws etc in the beginning, but I think it's gone to far into individuals acting simply on egotism.

And the BKs should keep well away from any families, especially where there are young children. In the lust of expanding, they've damaged to many.

It's typical of BKism, whilst presenting itself as "spiritual", to actually be promoting self-centredness, irresponsibility and harm to the most basic unit of society.

But I tend to think slightly differently these days about the freedom of thought.

There's a inevitability that people will believe or do what they want, but I now think we all have a responsibility to "the truth" - an ongoing process of discovery and rejection of what is not; and not be spreading that which is false. I see the BKs are deliberate "polluters" of the spiritual and intellectual realm with known falsehoods, and as damaging the social realm. Their "Knowledge" is not true and a block to further development.

V78's comment about "bursting her bubble" apt. The BKs create this big bubble of false and delusion both in their own lives and the world as a whole; at the cost of constant effort pumping it up, and a great financial cost. Much of that is based on the skilful deception of others, and part of that on the deceptive use of language.

Deciphering the language, grasping their concepts well enough to play them back at that, getting to know the real truth about the BKs, pulls the rug from under their feet and disables them a little. Unfortunately, it does not usually cure them, although it does liberate you from that bubble of delusion much quicker.

We can tell you the tricks and double talk they use.

You've got to set very clear boundaries and say, "BKism out" or "after". You can start by learning about the methods by which cults spread, what BKism believes and how has evolved, and trying having a calm, sympathetic discussion about it. But likely she'll just not want to know and deny. Generally it just becomes a battle of wills to see who is on top, BKism versus the rest. Once an individual has stepped on the fairground ride of BK thought, it's hard to get them off until the music in their head stops.

In your case, Avid, where is she getting the Murlis and messages from? The internet, email, local centre?
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avidbkhater

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Re: Marriage in jeopardy

Post19 Oct 2015

Hello,

Sorry for the late response. Responding to all of your questions in one post.

I havent read all the posts of this thread, will do.

My wife's parents were not into BK but my wife pushed them and I think they are somewhat involved now.

I am not sure who introduced her but she said she wanted to do some one week meditation course and I didnt take it serious and I agreed. This was in India.

I do not get the whole idea of "God Coming". What does that even mean? some lady speaking in rough demonic kind of voice and whole BK junta believes that to be a voice of God.

How could someone beliece that kind of a thing?

She teaches him about Shiv Baba and energy and peaceful soul and such things to my son. I am not worried about that but may be I should be.

I am very confident that no matter what she teaches to my son, he wont be a fool like her to get involved. But, I cant be sure and I now realize that I should interfere.

You are absoulutely right, I was not at all serious until few months ago. I was patient and somewhat confident that sooner or later she would realize and come out of it. Mainly because she has a history of changing he beliefs. She started with Mataji, moved on to Asaram Bapu, then Vaishanavism (from my parents), and then BKism.

I have tried reading or listening to BK material but I found all of it totally illogical except for some parts where they teach you to be a better person.

She watches BK videos daily for 1-2 hours. She reads Murli daily and talks to couple of other BK folks on a daily basis.
Problem is, she doesn't have a good relationship with my parents so I cant go that route. I do not think my in-laws can be of great help either because my father-in-law is very easy and kind person and he has no ability to say anything to anybody. My mother-in-law is a teacher and she is now happy with her private life. If I ask her she might try. Problem is my wife is very short tempered and has big ego problem. She doesnt like to be told.

Marriage is registered in India.

She gets all her Muralis in email. She also has couple of apps on tablet and phone.
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Pink Panther

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Re: Marriage in jeopardy

Post20 Oct 2015

ex-l wrote: I now think we all have a responsibility to "the truth" - an ongoing process of discovery and rejection of what is not; and not be spreading that which is false

V78's comment about "bursting her bubble" apt. The BKs create this big bubble of false and delusion both in their own lives and the world as a whole;


I don't disagree at all ex-l. My point was about using the marriage vow to bring home to the BK partner the reality of their dissonant beliefs, that they do not live in a bubble, that their newfound enthusiasm has real effects on the people around them. A life-changing choice has life-changing consequences.

People can go on living in whatever delusions they carry until there is a practical reason to question the delusion.

A BK in a marriage can pretend it is the fault of the other partner, their mind will flit and change as it sees fit moment to moment, to rationalise their wishes. But when asked to check against something objective, relevant and emotionally meaningful, it just might see itself a little more clearly.

The marriage vow is a contract which was, at least for one day in their life, very meaningful and something the BK partner considered deeply. So, to use it as the basis for discussion between a couple makes clear the importance of the issue to hand, that this is not a matter of a bad mood or a bad day or the other person.

It shows that the non-BK partner is seriously aggrieved and for a solid reason, it brings to the attention of the BK why they feel aggrieved the way they do and does it in terms that the BK clearly accepted & understood (once) but chooses to now ignore. The basis for the relationship is clearly articulated objectively, it's not just the opinion of the other person.

The BK partner will be reminded what they signed up to in the marriage and asked to check how the present situation does not match. Who is it that's breaking the deal?
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