Please help friend of a BK

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Re: Please help friend of a BK

Post05 Feb 2017

The marriage was not arranged, however when they were married he did not allow her to be apart of BK and she listened. The thing is, she neglects her mother-in-law, she does not take care of her. Basically it's like she is a stranger in the house with a bedroom who just uses the washroom and kitchen. They do not talk since the BKsm started.

The Father did help control the household, he spoiled his kids but had a special close relationship with his son. His daughter was very, very, very young at the time that did not establish yet. The mother told me this is why she only cares as much as she does for her daughter. Because it is her turn, and when she wants to party or leave to just let her go.

Once again, I just find it insane for any child to tell a sibling to go die, that they are a loser, in front of the parent and nothing is said. Everything I am saying she never used to do before BK both daughter and mother.

The death of the Father did not really impact her, I'll be honest I am quite shocked. I know different people cope different ways but she has it in her head that it basically never happened because she won't be seeing her husband in after life anyways.


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Re: Please help friend of a BK

Post05 Feb 2017

Hi Emily,

I was a BK follower for 6 years, not 100% dedicated by almost 70 to 80%. Yes, it is a good spiritual path, but I have left it now. Because I realised that it is just a path of self-cultivation and nothing else.

Regarding that parent of your friend, she needs to understand that their God the Shiv Baba never says in The Knowledge that you have to leave your family responsibilities and just come to centre. But what happens is the Sisters at the center are always in a royal greed of getting all the work done by followers, they do it with a lot of sweetness and smily face, but, end of the day, in the name of seva, they will just tell the followers to do hell lot of stuff. And they fit this belief in the minds of followers that the more you do the service for God, you will get higher status in satuyug, the Golden Age.

Pleas tell that parent of that child that she can service Baba by following the path and at the same time take care of her child too, otherwise her seva for center is in vain.

Well, I realised a lot of stuff in my journey of six years, it is a path of creating a positive frame of mind, but BKs don't realise that the human mind is dual in nature, if you keep running behind creating positive frame of mind, mind will become negative on its own when you are not AWARE of it. So they need to do a lot of struggle with the Shrimat and all to get the positive frame of mind again.

It's just a war of OK I am feeling awesome with Baba, and then after a month or so, dude, I am defeated by Maya the devil ... Oh Shiv Baba save me ... I am coming to centre forever now, may be that parent is also in the same condition, if you can you can show this message to that parent, may be she will start realising the same what I realised in 6 years of my journey.
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Pink Panther

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Re: Please help friend of a BK

Post06 Feb 2017

Hi Emily,

Thanks for filling us in on more details. it sounds to me that an impasse has been reached. Without any drastic action, this will just continue the way it is going for quite a while until something ”gives” i.e. some major episode or catastrophe.

If you think so too, my suggestion is that your boyfriend, the son, must put sentimentality aside and take a tough position.

1. The son at age 23 needs to become fully independent physically and financially, i.e. self-sufficient - then he will be able to become free emotionally, and able to act objectively and definitively.

2. He should not get into arguments, this sounds like it has gone well beyond that stage and is now a battle of wills (egos, no-one will give way, there’ll be no regard to reason). Let it go for a while ... Accept "what is” for the present and let things cool down, settle.

3. When he has calmed down, and has some resources, he should seek legal advice, to find out what is possible and not possible. He could engage someone to investigate the probate of the Father’s estate to find out what happened after his death with the estate. As the oldest child he has a right to know.

It may be the estate was all willed to the mum - (or it defaults to her by law? Need to check the local law) - but if her behaviour is erratic and it is accepted as erratic by those who decide such things (she may have to have some psychological assessment). He could make a claim to have it redistributed or put into a trust until she is deemed capable.

(I am intuiting that it is access to resources which gives her ”permission”, the leeway, to behave the way she does & not have to work much, acting the miser to make the money last as long as possible and be available for travel etc).

4. Part of your boyfriend’s ‘letting go” is realising his Sister at age 16 is going though a major transition phase - 15-18 is usually the difficult years for teenagers, especially girls as they find their identity. She is not his primary responsibility. His own well-being is.

At this time she is enjoying being pampered and she’s taking advantage of her mother’s ”mothering” (probably convincing herself she is being a good mother when in fact she needs to be more of a ‘Father’, a rule setter, too).

I reckon, by the sound of Sister's behaviour, she will soon enough be rebelling completely against her mum, get into verbal fights, maybe reject her outright or - alternatively - become even better at manipulating her mum to keep her as maidservant, taxi driver and money supply. (Mum must be too blind to see what is happening with her daughter, another sign of mental disengagement, possible illness).

The best thing the son can do for Sister is go to her school and speak to a welfare worker / counsellor or principal and let them know what is going on. They should have resources for calling in different agencies for child protection or welfare. (Just missing school too frequently can be a trigger in such matters, to which can be added the behavioural stuff and the cult membership of the mum).
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Re: Please help friend of a BK

Post06 Feb 2017

In Canada, like elsewhere, it appears Wills are available from public records, e.g. you can inspect them via the Court of Justice, however, law differs between French and English speaking states.

This kind of stuff, em, is just "human stuff" and learning about it, and how to manage it, is just part of being a human. Many families end up with Wills/Probate issues. It's often a terrible mess. People die without leaving one, people "disappear" them, dying people are forced into them etc etc etc.

One questions being if they followed Canadian law or imported traditional ones. Often a son might expect to become the head of the family in which case how did the mother react? Or did the Father not trust him either?

If they died without one (intestate), or it "disappeared", I suspect by law the mother would get everything by way of being the surviving partner.
awareness_being wrote:But what happens is the Sisters at the center are always in a royal greed of getting all the work done by followers.

"Royal greed" ...

That's a very good point and a very BK way of saying it ... but you are perfectly right. Once some old cuss of a Sister has put up with the crap, sat on her butt for 10 - 15 years, they sure develop a sanskar (habit) of doing so; and there's nothing more they like that some weak minded Brother to run them around in their car and do all the heavy lifting ... and some innocent young kunyas (virgins) or old widows, to do all the cooking and cleaning ... to allow them to do the "important" work of starring at people, tying rakhis onto IPs and VIPs, and telling others what to do.

They don't ask, "Can you do this for me?" which it is. They ask, "Can you do this for Baba ... Baba needs ... Baba says" or the best one ... "It's an opportunity for you to earn a multi-million fold inheritance".

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