Brahma Kumaris Info - the Truth about BK Meditation

Hello everyone!

I really don't know where to start, but my experience is also same as many members have already shared here. That is, losing loved one because of their involvement in BK.

I am trying to dig into truth of Brahma Kumaris and what actually they are seeding in people. I have searched many many sites and blogs, including many discussions of this forum. But I am not getting exact information about how to resolve and get rid off an effect/cult/hypnotism/misguidance of BK on someone!!!!

I never went to BK center, I have just studied information/videos of BKs website : http://www.brahmakumaris.org
But I haven't seen any stuff there ​which controls/changes person's thinking about God, Soul, Truth etc.

I, myself, found no interest in those stuffs as I believe that there's no point questioning/changing anyone's​ belief in God. I cannot stand when people exaggerate importance of their own religion only. I just keep quiet and walkaway from them. As personal beliefs are very close to person's emotions, so better not to argue or correct it. But when some groups like BK are affecting direct to my loved one's changed behavior, I couldn't hold up long, as it is breaking my relationship, breaking my dreams and plans with the same person who is now acting totally different after his involvement in BK!!!!

I have tried in many ways by arguing, explaining so much about that unexpected change of them. But it's all wasted. I don't want to argue with them, who is under the effect of some group's mysterious teaching. So I started at my own to check what is going on there in BK. Through internet. I found many many shocking facts of frauds, irrelevant information, cult, crazy Baba Milan etc etc stories and posts regarding BK.

But not a single information of how to stop that thing affecting my family member, how to take any actions against that group, how to convince my loved one to stop going there!!!!

I left unanswered and deeply feeling helpless, just watching him going away from me and do nothing at all!!!!

Please give me some guidance or some way please, please, please.

What you say is, sadly, all very accurate and true. It is what the Brahma Kumaris.

Having taken on a celibate facade, the only way for them to expand their cult is to steal other people's childrens and family members. They are spiritual parasites on the normal society they criticism so much as "impure", but yet depend upon for money and free labourers/workers.

Sadly, it is also our experience that once they have their hooks into someone's psyche, once someone has become addicted to their psychicism, it is very hard to impossible break them free ... until they want to break free.

The BKs also teach and encourage their adherents both to be distinctly dishonest to outsiders/ex-family and feed them with "yuktis" or trick to confuse and control, and defend BKism from criticism. It is like arguing against a drug addict against their drug abuse.

Can you give us any further information about your relationship, are they adult or a child, are they financially dependent or independent, are you married etc?

There are laws, generally in the area of "undue influence" but unless they are a child or can be proven to be dependent, it is very hard for a third party to use them. In short, adults have free will about religion.

The starting points I always recommend is to

a) accept they are dead and go through the greiving process for your own sake (this is what they want/believe and teach themselves, they are encouraged to "die alive" to their old family), and
b) cut them off from any legal or financial access and control over your family's wealth and property. This is important because if you do not now, the BKs will end up getting it all; mind, body and wealth. Protect yourself. Do not support their addiction.

Offer them your assurance of love and support *when* they leave BKism ... but make it conditional on "no BKism whatsoever". Do not compromise with the BKs.

It is either your family or their family. Make the individual chose *one* .. and don't just believe them, make them prove it.

You can try going and making a big scene at the BK centre, cause trouble for them within the bounds of the law, accusing them of what they are and are doing. Sometimes this works and they tell the adherent to leave. It may or may not have a good effect on your relationship though, only you can tell. I do know of one family who were successful this way threatening legal action to get their child back.

The one thing the BKs (leadership) cares the most about is acquiring money and property, so do not be soft on this issue. The cult is 95% about the acquisition of money and power and consuming family properties has been their stepping stones up until this point. Right from the beginning until now.

If it is a child of yours, cut them out of your will or else you will be giving it to the BK witches. If they are wife or female dependent, stop giving them money and make them earn their own or else it will all be "donated" to the BKWSU ... along with all the time and energy that they should be putting into their own, real family.

Understand the way BKism works is that other BKs become "the real (spiritual) family" and that the real family become devils, enemies or at best ignorant unfortunates to be "served" with the intention of sucking them into BKism.

Do not allow them contact with other family members in order that they spread their psychic virus. Make it clear, "no BKism under any disguise". "Our family, or their family".

I am sorry to be blunt but 1,000s before you have beaten themselves over this many times, so self-defence comes first.

The BKs avowed intention is "to conquer the world three square feet at a time". Their war or invasion has just ended up on your doorstep.

I am feeling really very depressed because of this unwanted issue arising in my happy relationship with him. I am 34 years old, and he is 33. I am working in a private company. He is a professional cricket player, we have been in an intimate relationship from 7 years ago, but because he needs to focus on his career, I waited this long.

He was not like this before, 3 months back, he was a very normal fun loving guy, having lot's of ambitions and very serious about a commitment towards me. But, as every relationship has some small issues going on, we were having the same kind of opinion difference which are resolvable, but being a female I just got angry and stopped talking to him for a month and half. I thought it might affect on him and he would be more focused on resolving our issues, so that we could have had a better marriage life ahead.

One thing I would like to mention here that his mother is a government nurse, now retired, and deeply involved in the BKs since a long time, and she dominates him many ways but not against me. It's just she just controls him easilier than anyone else. I have no issues with her. She is aware of our relationship also and had no bad opinion for the same. But whenever I went to meet her, I never saw smile on her face. She looks all tough and speaks very blunt, but I don't mind accepting her the way she is, as long as my partner is taking care of our relation positively. But his mother sometimes speaks strange things which I now understand after researching the BKs.

So, to come to the point, I stopped​ talking with my partner for a month and half and in-between he only message​s me twice to call me or talk to me ... He called me only 2-3 times, but as I was in my space, I did not picked up. I thought it was the same kind of fights we sometimes had earlier but, in my surprise, when I called him after get tired of waiting for him to respond, he started talking about celibacy and told me that now he cannot be the same he was earlier. I was shocked at the time listening all those things he never spoke before. I gathered myself and called him again and tried to explain why I have stopped talking to him for a month, but he was not even listening to me and just told me straight away that "now I am deeply involved in BK, and cannot even touch you, I am not the same person I was, I am like a stone hearted now, nothing will affect me anymore etc etc".

And I was just listening and crying and crying. And he actually did not hear me or get affected by my crying. That was totally shattering to me, yet I picked up myself and went to his home, where his mother was there and I asked her, "what is going on? What has happened to him? Why now he is talking such things to me after all these years of our relationship?".

His mother replied coldly, "he is a 'Brahma aatma' now, he cannot marry anyone, it's his decision only", and then she started talking about some 'pavitrata' and 'our Baba', 'Gyan', 'karmik chakra', 'outside food ban' etc etc. That I did not understand at all. I have tried to convince her so hard that "I too will follow your rules if it's only condition is to save our relationship", but she rejected all my pleadings and kept on talking about past birth theory and that all nonsense, which I really couldn't bear to hear. He was there the whole that time, and only spoke one thing looking at his mother which was, "I was feeling guilty whenever we shared intimate time, but she (me) won't understand it as she (me) did not know anything about BK".

That was the time I felt myself so so hated and cheated. I totally broke down at that time, and get up go away from that weird loads of negative atmosphere which I have never ever felt before.

Then after I called him many times, same arguing, same explaining, same pleading, he received twice only, and​ then stopped receiving my calls. I called his mother, she started preaching some strange talk and just told me to be strong and accept the reality and advised me to go to BK and to do some Raja Yoga course, which I don't want to do, yet she kept telling me to do that. I asked her to let me talk to him, but she says that, "first you do that course, then he himself will talk to me, and we can be good friends then after".

I am still in that shock that what has happened in one month? Why suddenly my happy relationship turns upside down with no real reasons, no real logics and explanations!!! I am going through huge depression right now, yet trying and texting him informations (as he is not talking to me since a month) about truth and fraud, family break ups by BK which I have found through searching. His mother is not letting him talk to me.

I cannot give up so easily, as for me this relationship means everything, so I am trying continuously to find out any single way to get out of this pathetic situation.

I am thinking of going to the BK center and do whatever it takes to get back my loved one, that's why I approach this forum to find some way out.

I don't know what will going to happen but I won't give up on him so easily.

Such Brahma Kumaris should be banned immediately if there are so many incidents, and facts against their anti-social activities.

Why anyone is not talking steps collectively to stop the BK cult, brainwashing, family and relationship breaking activities??!!!

There must be some way or acts to stop such groups.

OK ... there are two or three separate issues going on here.

Firstly, and allow me to apologise in advance for being direct and personal, there is the question of your own "feminine conduct" and conduct in relationships. I do not know and cannot just whether any arguments etc you had were justified, who was to blame etc but you are obviously experiencing great regret now at your own behaviour. Perhaps it was not correct behaviour, e.g. perhaps it was emotionally manipulative or, I apologising for say, a little immature. In English we call it, "giving someone the cold shoulder" (refusing their calls, to speak to them etc).

Perhaps you should not have gotten angry, being "female" is no excuse for that. Therefore, that is behaviour you will have to examine, question and perhaps change at a later date before another relationship.

What you did was give his BK mother and grandmother the ammunition to use against you.

I can translate what has gone on.

The mother and grandmother are BKs. The son was not but they were trying to reel in him.

They allow him to "sow his wild oats" while he was young ... to have some normal sexy/emotional fun with you so he could "get it out of his system" before reeling him into BKism.

By your bad behaviour, your anger and emotional instability, you created a window of opportunity for them to grab him and prove to him that non-BKs and sexual-emotional relationships are bad, and to convince him to join BKism.

You do not say, but I am presuming the mother and grandmother have been in BKism a long time and so he was under their influence from a young age, or childhood. He did not want to join, so they let him go a little free. Once this problem arose, they took their opportunity and grabbed him.

I am guessing the rubbish she was spouting was to suggest that you and he had some "karma" from a previous life that you had to resolve, but that now it is finished.

Of course, this is complete fantasy ... but it is a typical BKism, an excuse they use for "BK souls" having relationships with each other. They are fantasing to themselves your karma is over ... but really they just mean your current relationship is over. They are using their power mother-son control relationship to close him down and shut you out.

You are understandably upset because you are a woman and as you get older it becomes harder to find a husband. Perhaps he led you on to believe you would get married?

Did he make any specific promises?

The grandmother was "tough faced" because she did not approve of you or the "impure" relationship. You, to her, an an "impure Shudra". She would add her own unhappiness with sex and relationships on top of BKism and it's anti-sex, anti-love, anti-family, anti-attachment philosophy. You were a demon taking her "pure" child away from her and her god spirit. She might have said on the outside it was OK, but on the inside, she did not believe so. She believed the opposite and was waiting for this time to come.

The BKs are very two faced, and patient. They smile on the outside and act "royal" but on the inside they condemn. Non-BKs are basically non-humans to them. She would have been waiting and praying for this time to come, and seeding this mind with BKism to pull him in later. They adopt a "softly-softly" approach in this manner.

When did he first learn about BKism? As a child?

Women in BKism use all their motherly/womanly guiles and manipulations to serve BKism.

It seems that there are two separate layers going on, one relatively normal "human stuff" (mothers and sons versus "the 'fallen' sexual women (you)"; the other the BK cultic stuff. The human stuff is being used to serve the cult.

I am forced to suggest he sounds like a "mummy's boy" and not a full, real man at all. His is an adult male ... and yet his mother makes his life and relationship decisions for him. Does he still live at home with her? Of course, from point of view, like so many BKs, he is just taking the easy path out ... why does he need a wife - with all the argumentative problems you were causing, all the emotionally manipulation - when he has a mother and grandmother to look after him? They'll cook and clean for him, provide a roof over his head, the only price he has to pay is 'no sex' and being a BK.

Where is the Father figure in all this?

You are experiencing great regret because, perhaps, you played your cards badly and lost him. You are blaming yourself for not speaking to him. You don't tell us why you were going up and down in relationship but that does not really matter now. I think you really have lost him.

However, and this is important, I don't think it is a bad thing. You need to see it as a lucky thing ... because now you are free of BKism forever, and have learned an important lesson in life about the nature of cult religions etc.

I say lucky as I can assure you that if BKism did not become a problem now, it would have become a problem in the future ... perhaps after you had married and had children ... and then *your* children would have been pulled in too. You would have ended up in a cold, loveless and sexless relationship.

Now you have an opportunity for a different life ... is that possible?

Still, I don't think what he and they did is right. Quite the opposite, I think it was wrong; morally and ethically wrong.

They knew what they were doing. He may have had a question in his mind all along too. Therefore you used you and consumed the time of your life to allow him to play around.

That is why I ask, when did he become involved in BKism?

Now they are trying to use your emotional instability to suck you into BKism. They believe that by getting you to do the 7 Day Course ... as a condition to see him ... you will converted to BKism. Of course, you will *not* get him back, you will both just become BKs and be subjected to the same separatist rules as all other BKs.

No personal or physical contact. No relationship. I presume you are not fooled by them to do so?

Again here I think he is not being a man ... what man requires his mother to stand at a door and protect him, to speak for him? They are applying the BK rule of "no contact" to decrease and remove the emotional connection.

I think you have been fooled by them to believe they were just another Hindu religion, but BKism is quite different in its exclusivity and separateness. They will have always condemned you for being "impure". They feel nothing about hurting your feelings.

What can you do? Legally, I think if you had no written agreement it would be very difficult ... marriage fraud happens in India (I guess you are in India?) ... but could it be proven?

You met him when you were 26 and ready for marriage ... where does having a child fit into your equation?

Were you having a sexual relationship and for how long?

Depending on your answer, I'll give you additional advice.

ex-l has fleshed out the bare bones of what is underneath very well. I would only suggest that if whatever strategy you use does not work soon, let go.

Either he is going though a brief phase that he will regret, maybe get bored with, and leave behind preferring a regular life or he is so ripe for enculting - after a lifetime fo conditioning - that he won’t be able to.

One other factor to consider that may be affecting him is that he is 33 and a professional sportsman. He knows he has only a few more years left to earn money. He may very well have not wisely invested in his post-sport life (given most to his parents?) and has little that is clear for him for the future, and can’t imagine a working life without the ”glamour”. The BKs thrive on this ”no future” mentality. And they also promise the highest "glamour” - worship-worthy deity status, forever, being one of the ”chosen few” if they renounce everything and follow their practices.

As ex-l has said, any imagery, symbolism and mythology indoctrinated within family from a young age are seeds that bear fruit one way or another in later life. They always inform us in one way or another, but the question is, do they take over our mentality so unconsciously we "become” them, or do we rebel against them, reject them outright, throwing out baby with bathwater, or - the hardest to do (to be so self-aware) - do we consciously see them for what they are, integrate what is good and filter out what is not?

Astrologically speaking, he has also just gone through his ”Saturn return” - the time for a full orbit of saturn to return to the point it was at the time of a person's birth. That orbit is between 28-32 years (each orbit varies a little). Saturn is "the guardian of the boundaries" - and is a.k.a. Chronos, consciousness in Time, the boundaries of consciousness.

Saturn, in psychodynamic astrology, governs consciousness, ego, the sense of ”who I am” in this world. Those who can mature well through their 'Saturn Return' years will transition into a new phase of life, a youth will become a man. Those who do not tend to repeat or perpetuate the consciousness of the previous cycle.

For men, one of the biggest traps is the mother’s apron strings. Those men who cannot become free of the attachments or conditions imposed on them by their mothers stay locked in an emotionally dependant, easily manipulated relationship with them. They can sometimes do this quite successfully, i.e. they can ”function” in society but they are what the Swiss psychologist Carl Jung called the ”puer eternus” - the eternal child. It is sometimes called a ”Peter Pan” syndrome, the boy who never grew old.

That may sound ”romantic” or sweet, but it is not ”human”, it is stunted growth. The BKs talk a bout self-awareness but what they teach is a binary dogma, this or that, good or bad, Brahmin superiority or non-brahmin ”karma”. The richness of human comlpexity is washed away in slogans and superficial dumbed down reworking of Hindu culture.

Lots of food for thought. I suggest you think deeply on these posts for a couple of days before replying.

@ex-I

Our arguments were on HIS career stability, I wanted him to change the direction of his career/income source as he is not doing well in cricket. He changed his hometown (5 hour distant) from a year and half ago for better opportunities in his career, yet it did not work out well. He lived in that City alone, a few months later his mother got transferred with her job to the same city where he had moved to, so obviously they are living together, mother and son only. He came back to his hometown frequently (every month) to meet me and his Father. There's none else in his family, his Father has own business.

One more thing is, his mother's relationship with his Father is not so good. They were living separately in the same house. His Father is Muslim and mother is BK Brahmin (now I understand the whole scene), but my partner is totally into Muslim culture. I am Muslim, there was no regious issues there in our relationship. But now I understand after your explanation, and pointed​ out some matters of the BKs rigid perceptions on Brahminism and on other religions.

His Father gave up trying to handle his wife's lifestyle. He is strongly against of the BKs and his wife's involvement in them. My partner tried to make out between his parents so many times but he failed to do so. He told me everything about it, so I just replied that, "you cannot change them, let them live the way they wanted​ and are happy in".

I met his Father after this whole issue arose. He, too, got shocked knowing his son's involvement in BK. He hate it very much, but he is helpless as he is no longer in control anymore of both his wife and son, so he just told me straight, "my wife has spoken so many lies​ to me and now she is spoiling my son against me, I am living alone in this age (approx 60+) yet they both are not ready to live here with me and not even replying my calls regularly. I have given up on both of them. Let them do whatever they want to. I am managing myself without them. You are free to do anything. I will be here if you need my help anyway".

I really don't know when my partner got involved in the BKs, but after changing hometown, he told me about his joining a meditation class, as it was helping him to be more focused in his sports career, so I took it normally and forgot it.

Afterwhich he never ever mentioned much about it.

He gave me a clear commitment of marriage, as we are both that mature to understand and accept mutually, our regular talks, our family involvements. There is much evidence which clearly proves that he and I are totally serious in our relationship and commitment of marriage. That's why it is becoming very hard for me to believe his sudden change.

May be you are totally right in prediction​ of his mother's actually inside veiws for our relationship because I have never doubted her intentions or behavior.

Yes, he is much like "mumma's boy". I agreed.

But it is not making me feel lucky at all. How insensitive it sounds, as I am standing alone, trying to save him from that BK and yet getting advices to just "let him go" !!!!

I know he is not being a man, but that is not change my feelings towards him or to feel lucky and go away from him!!!

Yes, you are right, his mother applying "no contact" rule undoubtedly.

Another issues between us is of having child also. I told him about my "age limit to conceive", and he knew it very well so, yes, there are more pressures on him of taking decision immediately.

We usually met at his home (in hometown) and spent quality time together.

.....

@pink panther

Your views on his career prospects are so very true. We are having issues of opinion difference on the same. As I have mentioned in my above reply.

In his last phone talk with me, he does mentioned that, "I will going to 'samarpit in BK seva' soon. I have left my family too".

He also spoke things like, "I have to find income source now by doing anything, as now pension of mumma's is not enough to run all other expenses, and I got stuck in the middle of choosing 'you' or 'mother', so you be strong and accept the reality".

Yes, he is into more glamour than facing real sports world struggling. And, as he is dependent on his mother's income, he never faced the pressure of earning a living. And the same understanding and support he has got from me too.

Rest of what you have written is bit hard for me to understand, but as I am studying/​researching it to understand.

...

I am thinking of trying differently​, instead of sending him negative informations about the BKs and keep on explaining about his wrong choices, I should have send him messages using word 'own decision'. I mean it's like keep on saying those things or words which awakens person's 'sense of decision making', the way BK does by preaching irrelevant false theories and cults on their followers.

Correct me if I am lacking of understanding or guide me.

As you both are very well aware and experienced of BKs' real face.

There's saying,

"The test of courage comes when we are in the minority.
The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority."

I want to know, where am I standing right now ... in the majority or the minority?

You are in majority when it comes to the rest of the world, but in minority in the face of your loved one and his mother and the BK sphere of influence.

The advice about letting go was not a blunt advice. If you re-read the posts by me and ex-l, you will see it is saying you need to be prepared to let go if there seems to be little sign of his moving out of BKs.

Once a person reaches a certain point - identifying as BK and consciously affirming their belief in the teachings - it usually takes a long time for them to work their way out again, if at all . I’d say minimum 3 years, once that stage is reached.

I suggest you write him a long letter, something that he can read and re-read, with time to think about it and get clear, rather than get caught in the heat of debate.

Remind him of your shared feelings until now, your disappointment that he seems to have all of sudden taken up with a cult (be blunt here) that believes itself superior to all, that even calls itself true Brahmin and all other people are inferior.

Make only a few points, you don’t want to get bogged down in detailed arguments, about how BK beliefs have changed many times, that who they say ‘God' is has changed, how their god’s predictions for ”vinash” - the end of the world - has changed many times, although it's always ”in a few years”, that three and four generations have passed through BKs, many having died of old age who joined when they were young children all the time telling themselves the BK teachings were true, that the world would end and they will be reborn as deities. (Many of these points are on this forum, you can read the posts to find them. and look in the library archives for documented evidence).

Then, on a personal level, make it clear that you are a mature woman, not a child. That you have much love to share and you want to build a happy future, home and family.

Tell him straight, it’s OK for him to withdraw into BK life for a few years waiting for a world Destruction and renewal, because if he changes his mind in even 10 years time, he can still have children, but he must understand your biology clock is ticking, you can’t waste the next few years, you will not be able to bear children safely, or even at all. Tell him you do not believe in the BK teachings, that the BK track record is of repeated failed predictions so why would these next few years be any different ? Does he want to spend decades meditating and doing little else, only to be another old BK who died waiting for Krisna to incarnate, for BKs to be proven right?

Now you will need to make it clear you don’t just want him to make you pregnant - you don’t want 1/2 a man - nor a husband "in name only” - something BKs encourage - to show married couples living to BK rules (often with one partner less willing than the other) but tell him you want a whole man, a virile man, a hardworking loving man who will be devoted to his wife and children. You do not want ”Baba in between”.

If he prevaricates, if he tries to make his BK Baba part of the deal, do not go along with that in any way, not even temporarily. It will end up with you doing all the work for the family and household, and he will give his time and energy to the BKs (likely via his mother).

You need to keep a cool, far-seeing head on your shoulders and don’t let past feelings and experiences blind you to serious choices you are now involved in making, choices for a future that needs to be different, as chosen by you.

It's not about rekindling the past or maintaining things as they are.

Pink panther,

thank you so very much for replying. Your every single word is touching my soul and giving me ray of hope in the negative effect of Brahma Kumaris' false facts and it's information that I have been searching and searching for from many days, and I am feeling myself falling into deep well of this name (BK) and felt like killing myself whenever I found some bad information about that group.

But I do believe in staying focused on finding ways to resolving serious issues​ affecting adversely on life of my loved ones or mine.

I don't say that my problem is solved, or I am out of my depression, but I do believe in collecting small guidance from every people which can be a single brick to build my courage and confidence to handle an unexpected incidents of life properly.

I will follow your guidelines and carefully take any actions, also will think as an aware person because of this eye opening experience.

Here in this forum I have experienced the magic of 'Words'. If it is used in correct manner, it definitely changes your perception in a good way.

I am happy being part of this forum.

The first question you asked was, "is there some legal action to take?".

It seems there may well be. In India, an aggrieved person can claim compensation or damages for breach of promise to marry.

Once the existence of promise to marry is proved, then its breach would certainly be actionable under sections 73 and 74 of the Indian Contract Act. A breach of promise to marry at best would also attract an offence of cheating under section 415 of the Indian Penal Code. A boy who promises a girl to marry and breaks the promise, is case of false representation.

Also, if you tie this in with sexual relationships, i.e. you only had sex because he promised/you understood you were to marry, it seems this will strengthen your case as society prejudice will "open flood gates of physical suffering, mental anguish, social humiliation, loss to once reputation moral damages and embarrassment before ones relatives and friends, causing irremediable damages to a girl".

It's a serious matter that will effect your life and retirement.

Therefore, it may or may not get him back but it seems you have a case to stop him in his tracks and make him *think*. Blame the BKs for doing so.

Now, I'd like to talk to you about the importance of the *right intention* here but, before I do, I'd like to ask you again to try and find out,

a) When his mother and grandmother got into BKism, and
b) when he did

as it will help us understand what influences (and what lies etc) he has received from the BKs, e.g. was it after the year 2000 and so, therefore, was it after the last big "fear of Destruction" the inner circle used?

Additionally, I'd just like to underline for you that BKs are not real Brahmins. They are fake Brahmins. Call them BKs, not Brahmins (it's an appeal to ego and false superiority).

The question of intention is important and I'd like to suggest to you that the right intention is to be motivated by stopping an individual being sucked into a life wasting, money sucking cult. You may not be able to get him back. Like a drug addict, he may hate you for trying to save him from his addiction. But even if you lose him, you will be doing him a favour.

The advice I am going to give you is radical, but it is based on over 10 years of seeing the same kind of problems arise time and time again with couples and families and BKism.

I think you need to prepare two approaches. The first you may have tried, a reasonable one. From what you are saying, that is now too late and so I would suggest preparing a second unreasonable one which will, in essence, attempt to damage his career as a BK so much through embarrassment and shame, that he will not be able to consider it. Before you do, I'd try a loving, reasonable approach to him again ... and act of of genuine love for his welfare (as I believe you have).

The BKs do not do "seva". That is a lie. They do 'self-promotion', PR, evangelising to gain new members and causing more unhappiness to families.

Seva means service. The BKs only serve themselves ... 99.999%. Anything that is not self-service is merely an advertising show.

So let us work out what is going on here.

The BKs do specifically targeted PR campaigns to recruit new members, e.g. at politicians, at judiciary, at police ... and at sportsmen. Perhaps it was something like that which his mother used to suck him in. Yes, general meditation does help athletes concentrate; BK mediation has another form and agenda altogether.

Therefore, when he says he is going to "commit to BK doing PR campaigns", perhaps his mother is lining him up to do special "sportsman seva" based on his being an "IP" (important person) in India, a professional cricket player! BKs love IPs and VIPs.

You can see how his ego would be attracted to that ... he will continue to be a star. Perhaps his mother is even offering to financially support him to do so? Find out.

If he has never had a "proper job", this will attract him ... and he can continue to be a mummy's boy too.

Obviously to get anywhere, you need to separate him from his mother's influence.

Now, let's look at his mother's influence. Likely, it is coloured by her experiences of sex, marriage and being under males; her Father to her husband. Presumably an arranged marriage. Perhaps an loveless marriage in which sex was a chore to do be gotten over quickly in order to get on with the "job" of being a mother.

Many women come into BKism with such a negative attitude towards love and sex. BKism has a very negative attitude towards love and sex due to its founder's experiences. They see it as "poison" and "violence". In the old days, they used to say it was, "worse than murder".

Did you have a sexual relationship, and how was it? On top of simple female jealousy ... the mother being jealous of another woman having sexual pleasure and with her "pure" son ... I imagine that his mother and grandmother would be filling his head full of negative things about sex and the "impure" temptress you.

BKism layered on top of their Islam.

So what am I going to advise you to do?

Start by being as genuinely reasonable and loving, write him a letter telling him how you love you, what your relationship means, the promises he made and effect its end will have on you, e.g. leave you unable to marry and childless.

Give him time to respond, try to discuss the issues without becoming upset.

And then, if that fails and he wont, if he is too far gone ... do everything you can to be difficult and destroy his career in BKism.

This may *sound* like revenge but it is not ... it is your final option to try and save him from going down the wrong path. Act out of love.

What does that mean ...

Start the legal action for breach of promise if a lawyer advises you have a good case. Tie him up with it and if you can get a financial settlement, take it without any conscience. You are saving it from all going to the BKs.

Advertise your experience with him and the BKs everywhere, locally and on the internet. Shame him and his mother for what they have done to your life ... a selfish woman acting for a cult of self Hindu women who feed off other peoples children and families. Who steal other people husbands and wives.

Then take the matter directly into the BK centre. Go to the centre and shame him for promising to marry you and having sex with you and all the time having BKism in the back of his mind. Shame his mother for allow him to have sex with you and then steal him back for the BKs leaving you with no child, no future, breaking his promises.

Do so in the middle of one of their classes, in front of the entire class so everyone knows and everyone hears and threaten to do so and call him a hypocrite any time he goes out to do a public event for them.

Blacken his face so that the BKs will not want or be able to use him.

That is pretty much your *last* course of action. Try all others first because it may also lead to you losing him but it would likely save him from BKism. But before you do so, tell him why you are doing so ... with the right intention. Do not listen to the BK brainwash.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" ... go for it. Expose him, his mother and them for what they are.

Do *not* fall for the usual BK strategy of keeping it secret and meeting in private with the center-in-charge. Do it in public in front of all the BKs. Turn up outside the centre in time for morning class or public events. You will likely find supporters for doing so.

Find out what the mother did to the Father/family, how much money she took etc and use that.

Shame them so at least others can be saved.

The mother will have been working on the son for a long time planting seeds in his mind, meditating at him etc. You are fighting her, the grandmother and their centre-in-charges who will have been giving them ideas to fight against you and capture him.

Do not believe the BKs are good in anyway whatsover, they are nothing but deceitful spiritual parasites serving a Jinn who claims to be Allah, IMHO. (Do you live in an Islamic region?)

Act not just selfishly but to save other men, women and children from BKism.

Fearless.soul wrote:I am feeling myself falling into deep well of this name (BK) and felt like killing myself whenever I found some bad information about that group ... I don't say that my problem is solved, or I am out of my depression.

I am going to say something else quite radical here ... after years of watching such episodes, I have come to believe that those feelings are "super human".

That is to say that they are not only your own, that they are not only from inside you, but that 'emanate' or 'are amplified' from something within the group mind or collective mindstate of the BKs when challenged.

Time and time again we have had people coming onto the forum expressing these feelings not being able to understand the strength of them.

Yes, some of it most certainly is just person ... but I have come to believe much of it is not. And when you recognise that they are not just your own feelings but that you are being psychically attacked ... you can separate and protect yourself from them.

Deflect them like arrows off a shield.

BKs don't like to believe there is anything negative within BKism ... but let me tell you there is.

HI Fearless,

After re-reading the last few posts, the following occurred to me

Maybe to end off any letter, or as follow-up to the letter and after he has had time to digest it and to think about it, before you do anything else, suggest relationship counselling. See if he is willing to take any steps at all for the relationship.

This will be a simple measure to show where you each of you stand.

@ex-I

Thank you very much for explaining me legal ways. Yes, I can pretty much use them in my issue, are suitable in many aspects to my present situation ... and if then this will be only choice I left with.

But as I believe in there's nothing more powerful than true love and affection (as you both have also suggested me the same way), I am preparing for it, almost prepared. Without being argumentative and to write down only 'to the point' contents/facts of our relationship, and also being 'far seeing' about his decision's direct effects on both of our life (more of on mine), but being very straight in using words and explaining how the BKs are misguiding him.

ex-l wrote:"Now, I'd like to talk to you about the importance of the *right intention* here but, before I do, I'd like to ask you again to try and find out,
a) When his mother and grandmother got into BKism, and
b) when he did"

His mother has been following the BKs for a very long time, as per her reaction and the explanations she gave me on marriage/life/drama of the relationships/having child, and she also told me that, "just wait and watch to understand the drama of "shrishti'", and to focused on how many more persons will come and go in my life ... I really felt sooooooo angry at that time hearing such nonsense, but now after studying BKs' 'breakup rules' of relationships, I understand it well.

My partner became involved in BK from a year only, in the name of meditation, soon after his mother's​ transfer in the same city he shifted, now the picture is very clear.

"as it will help us understand what influences (and what lies etc) he has received from the BKs, e.g. was it after the year 2000 and so, therefore, was it after the last big "fear of Destruction" the inner circle used?"

He does sometimes speaks about 'end of the world is soon' (merely within 5-10 years), but I did not take it seriously at that time, as I thought he was just speaking it because of reading/watching negative news coming out from all over the world nowadays ... But now I understand.

"The question of intention is important and I'd like to suggest to you that the right intention is to be motivated by stopping an individual being sucked into a life wasting, money sucking cult. You may not be able to get him back. Like a drug addict, he may hate you for trying to save him from his addiction. But even if you lose him, you will be doing him a favour."

I understand your point. And I am preparing myself to face and accept any of the results​ after taking steps against BK or taking steps in favour of saving my partner's life. I know HE might started hating me for doing all that, or get angry or argumentative in favour of BK ... But after coming to know about the dark sides of BK, I am preparing myself for anything just by being true in my intentions/actions. I believe Almighty God will give me strength for it.

"I think you need to prepare two approaches. The first you may have tried, a reasonable one. From what you are saying, that is now too late and so I would suggest preparing a second unreasonable one which will, in essence, attempt to damage his career as a BK so much through embarrassment and shame, that he will not be able to consider it. Before you do, I'd try a loving, reasonable approach to him again ... and act of of genuine love for his welfare (as I believe you have)."

Yes, you are right, and I will consider your guidelines.

"You can see how his ego would be attracted to that ... he will continue to be a star. Perhaps his mother is even offering to financially support him to do so? Find out."

Whatever you have explained above are very correct. He is totally dependent financially​ on his mother, because his Father (being strict about religious) won't support him to join the likes of the BKs and waste his time. His Father also did not like his cricket career as he was not getting any results from it after many years of struggling. His Father wanted him to focus on earning seriously, but he has mother's support there and, being his partner, I too never discouraged​ him against his career choices (before our arguments happened on serious notes).

"Many women come into BKism with such a negative attitude towards love and sex. BKism has a very negative attitude towards love and sex due to its founder's experiences. They see it as "poison" and "violence". In the old days, they used to say it was, "worse than murder"."

Yes, his mother is having such views, as her love marriage did not worked out well. She is a Brahmin and married to a Muslim man.

"Did you have a sexual relationship, and how was it? On top of simple female jealousy ... the mother being jealous of another woman having sexual pleasure and with her "pure" son ... I imagine that his mother and grandmother would be filling his head full of negative things about sex and the "impure" temptress you."

Yes, I did have sexual relationship with my partner, we were having a very strong, intense relationship in such a way, that words could not explain it well.

I think the direct influence of BKs on to my partner only started from a year ago, but he has such a bond with his mother, and, as you have mentioned, his mother's negative influence seems relevant in my issue.

"That is pretty much your *last* course of action. Try all others first because it may also lead to you losing him but it would likely save him from BKism. But before you do so, tell him why you are doing so ... with the right intention. Do not listen to the BK brainwash."

Yes, I understood very well now. (The mother will have been working on the son for a long time planting seeds in his mind, meditating at him etc).

No, I am not living in an Islamic region, there are mixed cultured and communities around, are very well educated and respectful for all religions.

@pink panther

Hello, myself ALIFIYA

"before you do anything else, suggest relationship counselling. See if he is willing to take any steps at all for the relationship."

That's good idea, at this stage of relationship it will help me and my partner to understand each other more specifically. If he is willing to do so then only!!!

I am lacking of words to express how thankful I am feeling right now to both (ex-I , pink panther) of your cooperation and showing interest to guide me in this issue.

Thank you.

So you are saying that his mother was a caste-born Brahmin before becoming a Brahma Kumari?

I am thinking that if she was in BKism, she much have been seeding his mind and influencing him for all that time, even if he did not go to their class.

There could be another layer of psychology at play, a 'mother-son' versus the 'father-son' dynamic. If there was unhappiness or dissatisfaction in the mother-father relationshop, the mother could be using her power and influence, exercising her attachment bond with her son to act against the father-husband. In a way, the mother exercises power over the son by keeping him dependent like a child. He becomes her "little man", her non-threatening, non-sexual 'man-in-the-house'. She gets the security of a male with none of the costs or interaction, and she remains the boss.

This I cannot "know" ... but BKism is often used a stick within families to beat and punish other parties, as an excuse to split up the relationship and take an easier path.

If she was a caste-born Brahmin, BKism offers a relatively modern "Hinduism Lite" in which women, largely, have power over males. This would attract her too as she would sufficiently satisfy her Hindu leanings while having an additional veneer of "feminism". Women on top.

I guess ... perhaps ... that is non-challenging for the son as he does not have to change or grow up. To become a man.

You have to try all non-destructive avenues first, however, I am less confident about the way of relationship counselling than Pink Panther. Unless, may be, you can appeal to him from the Muslim point of view? It sounds like he has swallowed BKism 100% and is repeating their brainwash exactly. Perhaps conforming to his mother in order to sustain her support. She and the BKs will fill him with 10,000 responses to defeat any non-BK thinking ... unless you can break his faith it really is "God/Allah" speaking rather than just a jinn.

Has his Father always been so distance? How long have they been divorced for? Why did they divorce? Does he have no other positive male figures in his life?

You are right to be what you call "angered" by the mother and the BKs because what they are doing to you is lying to face and deceiving you. It's not really "anger" and it's certainly not "negative", which is how the BKs would portray it. It is a natural healthy human reaction to when one is being ripped off, lied to or manipulated by con artists.

"Shrishti" means the world ... the world drama as the BKs call it. They reduce the real world and all the suffering etc down to a puppet show in which they are the "hero actors". What she is talking about is Destruction, and how the End of the World is going to come soon. The typical BK mantra ... Destruction, Destruction, Destruction.

The Golden Age of Heaven on Earth is supposed to start by 2036. Perhaps he can explain how the entire world can be destroyed by Nuclear War, all the dead 7,000,000,000 human being cleaned up, and then within 10 to 5 years heaven on earth be build complete with golden palaces and nuclear powered, mind controlled flying machine (vimana) etc? Try and re-engage his rational mind.

There are a BK teacher training manual in the Library section you can read to see what it is they teach them.