I've had a similar path to the one you described.
I empathise with your predicament of confusion and uncertainty. It can feel incredibly isolated and scary to have your worldview challenged. For me it felt like the ground disappeared under my feet and everything was surreal and I did not know who to trust and I did not feel I could trust/rely on myself. I felt unsupported and mistrusting of others.
Questioning beliefs can be a Santa Claus situation, or perhaps even The Matrix.
There's plenty that can be done to bring you to a sense of trusting yourself enough to choose your own beliefs rather than just accepting those given to you as if they were facts. And also to build a more solid trust in your own conceptions.
This is a process and it involves testing beliefs against reality, accepting ALL of your feelings without classifying them as good/bad negative/positive etc, welcoming all that life has to offer, becoming more accepting of all parts of your experience. Be patient with your self.
Sure enough BKs have their dogmatic beliefs and if you seek their help they'll most likely soothe you and re-affirm those tall tales they tell. They're also likely to blame any divergence from their stories on your 'weakeness' or another literal/metaphysical/metaphorical entity 'Maya' 'Raven' etc or prescribe you redouble your efforts by consuming more of their standard medication. Being overly attached to a belief system is generally a losing strategy.
Non-BKs - some have their own stories/dogmas but most are open minded. By and large people (and progressive societies) change their outlook throughout life; as they learn grow and experience they adjust their beliefs about the world to encompass all of that.
A healthy belief system is flexible, changes according to new information /experience/situations, encompasses all aspects of reality, accepts that there are some things which don't have conclusive answers, relies on testing itself against reality, allows for growth, allows for multiple perspectives, accepts that it is fallible, welcomes change whilst tolerating the pain of change, is conducive to meeting the needs of the person, doesn't put the person/group at odds with the world at large by 'Othering' them, treats the self with respect, respects the boundaries and rights of others without judgement ...
Ex-BKs have lived and experienced both worlds, and crucially the stage of questioning their worldview and making/choosing their own belief which best models reality for them.
Tell us some more about your questions and let's start this process.
I also urge you to learn more about this process of questioning beliefs to establish a sense of truth
And especially to educate yourself on 'Cults', new religious movements 'NRMs' and other 'high demand groups'.
And to meet & question those who have questioned their beliefs (including BKs who decided to stay BKs).
Build a trust in yourself, your Instinct, your intuition, your heart, your logic, your analysis, your feelings etc etc - this bit can be most confusing after being involved with a strongly influential personal/group because those I fluences may still be present many years later until they've been dismantled, preferably with self-care, self-love, compassion, and support of others who respect your right to be yourself.
I would suggest that you've been strongly influenced by groups (eg family, community, religious group) to believe in what best suits them, rather than what best suits you personally. That suggests that they haven't helped empower you to be confident in your own decision&belief making skills beyond accepting theirs as being the correct ones.
Its natural for kid's outer layers/behaviour to be somewhat shaped/moulded, consciously or unconsciously, by their environmental influences in order to be accepted.
A clue of if this is the case for you is to consider if there might be any changes to the way you are perceived, judged, accepted, rewarded, treated, (and what they might say about you when you aren't there) and valued by those people if your beliefs/worldview /direction were to change. If your changes would bring about a decline in your acceptability or a decrease in your standing/value/status within the group, that's a sign that your value to them is related to your compliance/conformity /obedience/usefulness.
Being a member of any group (eg family, a circle of friends, a club, school, social society, community, political party etc) creates a conflict of interests; those of the group Vs those of the individual which can create an inner psychological tension. Learning through practice to notice&manage&tolerate this tension, favouring your own interests&safety as priority whilst finding a healthy relationship to group interests, is part of growing up in a society in which people have membership of multiple competing groups.
A straight forward but painfully torturous unfulfilling, way to resolve this tension would be to collapse all personal will/interests/individuality/self-determination/choice by wholly adopting those of the group - I'd say this is a losing strategy except for in cases of survival in extreme examples of danger eg being held captive/prisoner. Groups that expect this of their members are generally unhealthy and have dysfunctional dynamics especially interpersonal (eg not communicating, many taboo subjects, pretentiousness, not talking about difficult realities such as conflict, passive aggressive behaviour, overexaggaration of the 'positive' whilst not acknowledging the 'negative', vicious underground gossip, judgemental attitudes/language, vast difference between public&private face/attitudes). These groups can be especially destructive for individuals caught up in them, and are most destructive on those who are most reliant on the group.
A healthy way of managing selfVsgroup interests is to know & be committed to your own personal interests, and engage with a group to the extent that your needs are being met, not to the point at which your needs are being compromised.
Some groups allow higher/lower levels of individual freedoms than others. It's all too easy (partly because we are psychologically & biologically programmed to be part of a tribe, for safety & survival) to conform with any group we are member of.
I'd suggest that a vital part of your journey at this point is to find out who you are; the person undernearth all the social conditioning of the groups which have most influenced you, and then to nurture those aspects of yourself.
And to start thinking about and writing your own personal truth, pen and paper, about what you value in life, what you love, what interests you in life & nature, what kind of relationships/friendships you like, what makes you feel happy/sad/angry/love/motivated/demotivated/afraid etc etc
I believe that an essential part of any fulfilling life is a process of non judgemental self discovery, valued individuality, trusted reciprocal close human relationships, flexible beliefs which are aligned to fulfilling personal meaning&purpose, and personal growthful change. Part of that process involves actively tackling this. Your post here makes me believe that you have started that process. Congratulations and welcome to the free world
I was born and raised as a BK. From the ages of 1 - 12 I attended morning class at local centres, went on retreats at Oxford, joined BK youth groups, went to Mount Abu etc etc. However, as I have grown up, I have begun to question the BKs and their teachings. I am now 19 years old and am left feeling confused. Confused about what is the truth, confused about faith, believe, science. I am scared that my entire life and belief system has been a lie. If it was, what is the truth?