Very informative, and absolutely no offence taken. Let it fly Ex-I!
. This is the question I have been asking all along.
I, too, would love to know or hear from the 'married' couples that have a wonderful working relationship withing the BK confine. I have heard many exist from my partner but never actually met or spoken to any.
What are your thoughts on this? Remember, I am now trying to step back and be an observer to the best of my abilities, because it helps me deal with the crazy situations I have here. Kids are doing OK. They are too busy being teenagers to be worried.
My partner ended up telling me he had to become so deeply involved as he was having a terrible time fighting the drink, and he would do whatever it took to stay sober. (My thoughts are he is still trying to take the easier way out. An alcoholic thinks he doesnt need AA because he is better than them. An idea the BKs reinforce). So he is still in denial about his recovery from what I can see, but I could be wrong.
As I said, he has been a loving, affectionate husband. Only been to Murli a couple of times since his return. Not the every morning he originally informed me. Has broken Shrimat like you wouldn't believe! I have been doing all the things i normally would, taking care of the house, business, kids, cooking, etc. Getting back into my music. The things for me.
So what is going on with him now? He has been increasingly strange. This morning he is really strange. Not in a zombie state, but having trouble concentrating ... it is different to the 'I don't give a s*** about life, I feel good' thing he gets when he has been meditating and heavily involved. Not stoned, just very flat. did not want to do anything, no motivation. Began to think of things he hadn't attended to and really needed urgent attention.
I deliberately havent been picking up the slack and 'saving' like I used to. He knew of them and hadn't forgotten but just hadn't worried. He is very, very tired. He is like a man who hasn't slept in weeks. Is he coming of the 'high'? Is he being drawn back into the body-consciousness he has fought so hard to forget? (because I havent exactly been the good girl either. I have been frequently reminding him of some of the really good things in life!
). I know he will probably blame our love making for him being so tired. I guess it may be the case. If you tell yourself something enough, it will eventually become true. I just get full of boundless energy and the feel goods.
This is yet another aspect I haven't seen of him. Any ideas of what might be happening? Or should I just give up. But then again, if something has started to crack the ice, I don't exactly what things to freeze over again, if you know what i mean.
You good people have been through this. What are the stages of 'waking up'? or am I just wishful thinking?