My First post

Hi

I am new and this is my 1st post. I have been following the forum for some months and it has taken me some time to get my head around it. I have been inspired by so many of your posts.

Thanks to AK for sharing so openly. This has really touched me and I can so much relate to the quote below.

Will I dedicate a great portion of the remainder my life to discerning truth from fiction within the BKWSU and it's teachings? Is it worth it? Will I do this whilst staying on the 'inside' or will I do so from 'without'? Should I get out - leaving all behind me; Or should I stay in for the sake of appearances - in the hope that I will be able to support the others if/when they too 'awaken'? Can I pull such a role off? Is it a part cast in the manner of a 'sacrifice' or delusion?

At present I am on the cusp and my heart is telling me to take a break. However, it is hard to take that step. Does it need to be an official declaration or is it just a gradual drifting away? I would feel more honest about making an official statement to the Centre-in-Charge to inform them that this is whare I am at.

However, I fear the defamation and possible loss of credibility and friends. Will my BK friends still want to be friends if I am not actively following the BK path?

At the moment, I am just drifting and not going to the Centre much!

Rocksanne

At present I am on the cusp and my heart is telling me to take a break. However it is hard to take that step. Does it need to be an official declaration or is it just a gradual drifting away? I would feel more honest about making an official statement to the Centre in Charge to inform them that this is whare I am at. However, I fear the defamation and possible loss of credibility and friends.

Hi Rocksanne,

Welcome. I stopped sharing my inner life with my BK Seniors as I began to observe that they weren't really hearing me. If you feel that you want to be heard and understood by them, that is a good reason to speak frankly. To the centrewasis, your not coming is already stating a lot. Generally, a desire for the approval and the comraderie of shared spiritual experiences is a strong attraction for us to stay. If you don't need their approval, you may not need to explain. After all they probably know how to contact you if they are concerned to hear what is going on in your life.

Good luck with your decisions, and may your own judgment guide you more than anything I or others here might say.

--Joel

Hi, not going much to the center is a good way to detox and start looking at things from a different perspective, getting away from other's influence. Best if you manage to do that without too many guilty feelings. I never cut myself off completely from "kali yugi" activities or friends, and this may come handy when you are facing a "divorce" from the center.

Unfortunately, with all the center niwassis in my country, it was absolutely impossible to share anything openly. I did in the beginning and everything I said was used later against me to label me, slander me to the SS and put a chip on my shoulder. Also, as I drifted away gradually, nobody ever cared to call me, invite me to programs, inform me, except when they needed me. But as I said in some post, it's just a difficulty they have in playing the maternal role of sustaining.

There are some exceptions, I hope people at your center are more loveful and less judgemental. In my experience I did meet wonderful BKs, but statistically, especially for those in charge, the imbalance is such that there is a lot of law and detachment (lack of concern for others) and very little love.

Very warm welcome, thanks for joining the Forum. Love and peace.

The first time I missed a morning class, I received a letter from the center-in-charge telling that Baba said I "would cry tears of blood at the end" if I did not come back.

I laughed at it ... but I did go back. It was a mistake. I should have realised how seriously mad they were. I continued to be shocked at how others have suffered in such low, "lokik" ways with so-called Seniors and centers-in-charge. It makes me wonder what they said or thought about me because no one came find me or asking how I was getting on for many years after i slipped away - and even then it was basically only other BKs that were leaving or ex-ing at that point! I think they came to see if terrible things really happened to you if you left Gyan and for "normal" company!

Only one individual that I would have called a friend came and then only to "serve me" to bring me back. It was a false encounter. And I thought I had lots of friends inside.

I regret not stating clearly what and why I was doing and what I thought of the Yagya. It would have been service to others. (A waste of time to the SS but helpful for juniors). If I was to replay that part of my Drama, next time I would have written letters and stuck one up on the center noticeboard for every one to read. I do not know your experience but there was such as atmosphere of supression at the centers I went to ... and this strange Brahmin language for expressing things that made it imposible to talk, e.g. "not royal behavior" ... its about control. Having heard how malicious some can be, I can understand that you might have reservations.

I can imagine this forum also gives some BKs strength to speak out and make changes inside the BKWSU because we are expressing valid sentiments. If you chose to go back in stronger and more informed than you were before, then that is fair enough too. But you seem to have something to work out in your mind yet so how can we help you?

I met another ex-BK who said to me if they had heard about the failed prediction of Destruction in 1976, he would never have gotten involved ... now we discover another one around 1950 ... they rolled Destruction Complex through the 80s and 90s ... the Brahmakumaris have deceived us about this or about the significance of these and used it to cripple folks with fear in my book. Most BKs do not even know about their existence but here they are.

What is going on?

I would feel more honest about making an official statement to the Centre-in-Charge to inform them that this is where I am at.

Hi Rocksanne, and welcome to the forum. Congratulations on having the courage and openess to make your first post.I think that as you talk to more people who have left, or drifted away, you will find your experience is shared by many.

When I left I had the oppurtunity to give the Sister in charge my real reasons for going, but I never did. Partly because I did not think they would really hear me, and partly through lack of courage. I think they seldom hear the real reasons, and just assume you are not dedicated enough to get up early, stict to the diet, or keep celibacy. The real reasons are here on this forum, though, if they want to read them.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

Hi Rocksanne,

You are so great and i am so proud of you to come forward on the forum.

Keep posting about what is going on, here you can find some honest answers from warm people that all know what you are talking abouth. Keep your head up high, because it is YOU who is important.

Love Jannisder

Hi y'all and thanks too to Rocksanne for contributing to the "what's pulling me away thread". In my own lighthearted 'old school' way I observe that your nick brings to mind a female rapper of days gone by who performed under the name 'Roxanne Shante' Which surname almost sounds Shanti so i will say OM.

Does it need to be an official declaration or is it just a gradual drifting away?

Only you know that answer Rocksanne. As we are told in the BKWSU it is a part you have played many, many times before and will do again. So which was it, do you feel? is not it interesting that even though I am exiting I am still prone to answer questions on the basis of one of the central tenets of the BK's teachings? I.E. The inescapable repetitiveness of The Cycle! So do we ever junk any of the teachings and which ones do we find ourselves incorporating into our onward development as though it were our second nature? Or is that stuff really a part of our eternal consciousness, hence the inability to let go entirely?

Well, looking backwards at my recent attendance record and then forward to how the grapevine may rattle with talk of Abrahma Kumar's 'demise' I can imagine that there will be many an I-told-you-so. I too have been to class less and less over this past 12 months. It seems a natural consequence once we have let go of that Shiva soul's hand a little bit

I know what you mean about the 'official statement' idea and was interesting to hear what others have shared about their experiences. Unfortunately, my options seem rather limited in that it may well have to be official. Honesty being one reason and the other, in case I go without the company of my alokiks. In the latter case, slinking away silently is not really on I don't think. The roles some of us must play are so bitter sweet - and yet still we can not swap part with any other. Wah! The accuracy of drama!

Our BK friends may feel that they have to distance themselves - it may be the only way that BKdom in its present state can survive. We can not be allowed to 'pollute' the atmosphere. We must remember too the Court of Indra over which every self-respecting BK is a sworn guardian. I just pray that my leaving will not be acrimonious as I will have issues enough to contend with, without adding bitching BK's as well.

As for the SS understanding if I explain. Huh! I doubt it because they are trained to keep me inside. They are trained to sniff out any 'dissent' and ensure that the centre is not polluted by the wayward. It takes a strong and alive individual to awaken to the idea that certain things need to be clarified. Some of the posters here refer to it as graduating from university.

As for loss of credibility, one ought to fear nothing really because according to the teachings every BK 'knows' exactly what the leaver's credentials are. However, what they can not know is what songs our hearts sing or cry as we exit. This is for us and God alone. So let them talk and conjecture in that wise way that we do as BK's.

On this forum they can see that we are not mad or rabidly anti-BK but we simply do not want to be taken-in by the falsehoods and hidden agenda any more. If it is all about God then let us be transparent and a bit less of the www doctoring and less of the Murli re-writes. And let's protect the children! And what's this with all the money-making Gyan? And the optional Maryadas? and the violence against student's of other institutions against some parts of the world? And the lack of any duty-of-care?

I am so glad that I have awakened.

Good luck

Hi to All

thank you for your warm welcome. It's so great to be able to ask curly questions without feeling like a bad girl .

In my own lighthearted 'old school' way, I observe that your nick brings to mind a female rapper of days gone by who performed under the name 'Roxanne Shante' Which surname almost sounds Shanti, so I will say OM.

No, I am not that rapper. I am inspired by the Sting song. Please do not start me on the topic of the BK style Meditation Music. I would prefer to meditate to Rock, Jazz or Blues at the Centre .

If I ran a Centre (highly unlikely) the Meditation Music would rock!

Rocksanne

Please do not start me on the topic of the BK style Meditation Music. I would prefer to meditate to Rock, Jazz or Blues at the Centre . If I ran a Centre (highly unlikely) the Meditation Music would rock!

We always had at least one BK who believed in alternative music choices. Jazz, blues and rock would suit me fine nowadays, but I would want to dance, not sit.

I am inspired by the Sting song.

This song linked ... here?

Rocksanne, you don't have to put on the trance light
Those days are over
You don't have to sell your conscience to the night
Rocksanne, you don't have to wear that sari tonight
Work the center for Dadi
We don't care if it's wrong or if it's right

Rocksanne, you don't have to put on the red light
Rocksanne, you don't have to put on the trance light
You do not have to put on the trance light, put on the red light
Put on the trance light, put on the trance light
Put on the trance light, Put on the trance light

I love you though I do not I know you
I wouldn't talk down to ya
I have to tell you just how I feel
I want to share what's in my soul
I know your mind is made up
So take out again your make up
Told you once, I won't tell you again ... its a mad way

Rocksanne, you don't have to put on the red light
Rocksanne, you don't have to put on the trance light
You don't have to put on the red light
Put on the trance light, put on the red light
Put on the trance light, Put on the red light
Put on the red light, Put on the trance light
...You do not have to ... you do not have to ...

Hi Rocksanne

You're being very brave and courageous considering that you even have the feeling that you may need to make an official statement to the centre in charge. I'd say that you need to do what's in your heart becasue it's only your heart that knows your truth.

And you'll have us to 'speak' to here on this Truth forum (or even to pm if need be) at any time I am sure. Living in South Africa - our country had to have a Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) to help heal the people of this country from its terrible past suffering - so maybe you could see your way clear to sharing whatever happens and whatever you decide to do with all of us, the visible and the invisible. In a way this forum is our own TRC - and your journey may just help so many others to stand in their truth.

At this moment you are facing your own Truth so asking your heart what your Truth is will certainly help you make the right decision for yourself ... follow your Truth - after all that's all anyone has got.

Loads of love and light
XX P

This talk of music reminds me of something funny that did happen;

it was at the Peace Park picnic one year ... oh, how I loathed all that ... and one girl (J) asked to put her cassette on over the sound system so we could dance ... the guys running the sound asked her what it was ...

She said, "Bob Marley" and the brufs thought she said "Baba's Murli"!!!!!!

And so they put it on!!!!!

Yes souls, greater things are yet to be done with the late Brothers music! Things that the world will take notice of because they will be fluent and filled with the sound that each one hears in the heart whenever a BM song hits the decks. And since I for one am jamming for the brotherhood of man, a warm welcome to the forum and i hope you like jamming too.

Hi Everyone

I feels as if I am becoming free. Thanks so much for all your posts both now and in the past. I think it has taken me a few months to get my head around them. When I first went onto the forum, I didn"t even understand half of it. I had time to contemplate over Easter and I did not go to the Centre and I enjoyed myself! I felt closer to my friends and family and I don't feel elite or superior anymore. What a blast! I think that they are feeling it too. My son says that he has never seen me so happy.

I go out and do things for pleasure without feeling guilty! I can be with people and just love them without having to feel that I must "serve" them. I miss the idea of a spiritual gathering but who knows what will happen in the future.

Your Sister Rocksanne (sans white sari)

Right, this is a spiritual gathering!

Kisses