katie wrote:Sorry for going on but it is just hard. May be feel better after good nights sleep ...
Katie, we might disappear off down obscure rabbit holes to debate philosophy and spiritualism but we are primarily here to talk to people like you being torn apart by them.
What has happend to you is genuinely awful and is clear an inditement of who the BKs have become and how they operate individually and as an organization. As with Di, Sajani and others, you bet that your little BK boy is running off to the center-in-charge or SS, telling them half the story and the center-in-charge or SS is giving them advice in return. As you see, the same story is repeated in every continent.
You are torn. You have had your heart torn. You are literally leaking your life blood out now until it heals. It is as though he was plugged into your heart and has now torn the arteries away. You have bled after and in bleeding you have just become weaker.
In my opinion, you married a married man. He was already married to the BKs. They actually call themselves "The Brides (of Brahma and then Shiva)". Those rings they wear are wedding rings. Just see it as the infidelity it is. He kept secret his first love, his "other woman". He was unfaithful to her and then he was unfaithful to you. If you understand it this way may be it will be easier for you to work out your feelings and how to fix it. My advice would be not to get involved with all the philosophical stuff. You cant beat them at that. It is designed so you cannot win and they have had 70 years of this stuff.
I think it is terrible and conscienceless to create such a scar on your life. Your marriage down the drain. Your loss of face. But just see it for what it is. A bunch of women stealing other women's men. A bunch of celibates whose god will not let them procreate, stealing other families' children to look after them financially.
They came to this country with nothing. Now they have first class air tickets, big houses, a temple, a country mansion, free labourers and people to drive them around in Mercedes. They have never actually gone out to work because in the old days, Dada Kirpalani paid for everything. Yet, they are pure and you are impure. They are knowledgeful, you are ignorant. They are going off to become Kings and Queens in the Golden Age, you are going to be crushed at Destruction and miss out on heaven on earth. That literally is essence of their teachings and what your man is buying into. He is giving them his soul for a lttle bit of their cake.
I want to talk to you about practicalities. You are married. Do you have joint assets? (I cant remember if you have kids). Are you facing a divorce now?
If you want an "instant" divorce one of you must divorce the other on the grounds of "unreasonable behaviour". In general one must present a divorce petition within no more than six months from the incident of unreasonable behaviour.
You may have very good grounds on the basis of his inability to engage in sexual intercourse as his religious convictions were not disclosed before marriage. It is similar to a woman who married a homosexual who did not disclose he was a homosexual. It would be good grounds because of the lack of disclosure and you would not have married him if you had known before. Any judge reading what the BKs believe in will give you a divorce without blinking.
You may not need a lawyer if there is nothing to fight over and he is not going to contest it. I would advise that you want out as quickly as possible. There are many resources on the internet to help you. You would be better spending your money on personal counselling than lawyers. Do not waste money on couple's counselling. Your average BK will run rings around any worldly therapist or counsellor. I am sorry not to be more cheery for you.
Best sort it out quickly girl. Stick around here if you want to chat about it. Come back when you feel better and your head is clearer and document the entire breakdown of your marriage due to the influences of the Brahma Kumaris. No need to be vengeful, just compassionate. Save some other poor women from going through what you are going through. If there is any question of joint funds or belonings, and he has any degree of spirituality, he should walk away from them 100%.