Before encountering the BKs, it had never crossed my mind that having close relationships with my fellow human beings could be considered detrimental. Then the BKs trained me into thinking that physical relationships were damaging - in particular for the attachment that results, and the resulting jealousy and fear of loss. They said that having a special relationship with one "significant other" gets in the way of spiritual progress - that person comes between you and God - your mind goes first to them and God is forgotten... maybe...
Having accepted that, and having renounced physical relationships - and having become, in my own mind, married to God, so that God was now my lover, and 'significant other', I thought things were looking promising. Now I was able to have close friendships with a number of others, female and male, who were equally committed to God and to chastity, and we could leave behind the courtship games, and the possessive jealousies, encountered in the past, when everyone paired off with each other ... I felt I was experiencing an new, pure, simple, and joyous way to exist with fellow humans - albeit it only seemed to work within the confines of the BKWSU, and only with some of them ... nevertheless it felt liberating and exhilarating.
I imagined a setup whereby we could each be close to several others, with strong bonds of love and friendship, provided each of us maintained a primary and stronger bond with God - we would each take love from God and share it with each other. There was no longer any place or role for jealousy or dependance, no place for fear of loss - God was not going anywhere, and God would never ditch any of us. I perceived the dawning of a beautiful New Age of love and friendship, shared joy and peace. But then the 'teachers' took me to the next stages. It emerged that there were other relationships which had to be renounced too - no more mother, no more Father, no more children, no more friends - all of these were apparently damaging and would take you away from God? Eh?
Well I was hanged if I was ditching my parents, especially as I had just reached a reconciliation with them after working out 40 years worths of accumulated differences... my new spiritual virtue-based perspective on life had enabled me to build bridges for the first time in my life - I was damned if I was going to blow up these brand new bridges. For the first time I started to seriously question what the BKs were telling me (over and over day after day, like dripping taps ...)
I had no children, so no issue there, but ditch my friends? Turn my back on the very people who had held me together my whole adult life, talking me through emotional nightmares, providing loving support and a great deal of entertainment - giving me shelter and feeding me when i was down on my luck... the list went on and on.. turn my back on these special people? Why?
"You are coloured by the company you keep"
So - should I turn my back on people who had been the practical embodiment of virtue towards me - through thick and thin - over many years - and through many experiences? OK so they sometimes drank alcohol, one or two even took mild recreational drugs at times, some of them ate meat ... maybe they would lead me back to carnivorous debauchery? Maybe their apparent virtue was a sham - maybe their loving friendship was a mask concealing sinister selfish motives? And maybe the cold aloofness, narrow mindedness, prudishness, and strict judgemental conservatism, of the BK people who were most vociferous in insisting I leave these friends behind, was also a sham concealing spiritual gems - loving and benevolent 'good company' ... maybe.. but I decided to stick with my friends.. better the devils you know ...
I had to find myself a compromise position - married to God, but not to the BKs - loyal to my old friends and to my family - I had to develop a split personality - a mask to wear when at the BK centre, where I was increasingly expected to turn out in conservative and immaculately pressed and spotlessly clean clothing, keeping quiet about the people I visited when away from the centre, so as to avoid arguments and conflict, and so as to avoid undue pressure being put on me to conform to the rigid dogma "no relationships of any sort, except Brother and Sister"
OK - so I was still allowed to have Brothers and Sisters... I had long seen my friends as Brothers and Sisters anyway... so the compromise was not too difficult ... but as time went on more restrictions became increasingly apparent. I was not allowed to touch my Brothers, far less my Sisters... no hugging - even handshakes were awkward and discouraged ... But what about all these old photographs of Brahma Baba and the original Brothers and Sisters all hugging each other? No sensible answers were provided... but just try hugging any BK and see the look of horror, revulsion, even fear on their face.... What was this all about????
Never mind - I could still hug my friends, my parents, my real Sisters, so never mind about the cardboard BK Sisters and Brothers.... Meanwhile God was telling me through the Murlis that I should love all my fellow men when "coming into relationship and connection with them"... so I proceeded to work on that aim, outwith the BKs.
The BK teachers revealed more strictures - it was 'inappropriate' for Brothers to eat at the same table as Sisters... 'innappropriate' to sleep in the same building... 'innappropriate to go for walks or outings together'...no wonder so many BKs were gay... I noticed with great relief that at BK command central in Madhuban, all of these 'innappropriate' activities were indulged in by the visiting BKs en mass.. clearly the rules were stricter in Britain (good old Victorian prudishness ...)
More new regulations appeared.. it was 'innappropriate' and 'wasteful' for Brothers and/or Sisters to have 'long conversations' ... Now hang on - wait a minute - I am not to have a discussion with my Brother or my Sister, not to show any form of affection (even spoken it seems), not to socialise with anyone in any circumstance... no friendship, no companionship, no meaningful interaction with other souls in any form whatsoever, or a jealous God would mark me down in my end of term exam ... Hang on a minute.... what am i doing here? Where's the door ...
Breathe deeply ... fresh air at last ... just as well i never ditched those friends eh? or my parents ... so I still have places to go, people to share the joys and experiences of life with other souls to touch and be touched by ... bliss. So beware - this is a cautionary tale - don't exchange your support network of friends and family for BK pie in the Golden Age. The BKs frown on friendship. They see companionship as a sin, affection as a weakness that should not be displayed in any circumstances ... theirs is a cold harsh inhuman place. Don't go there.
Having accepted that, and having renounced physical relationships - and having become, in my own mind, married to God, so that God was now my lover, and 'significant other', I thought things were looking promising. Now I was able to have close friendships with a number of others, female and male, who were equally committed to God and to chastity, and we could leave behind the courtship games, and the possessive jealousies, encountered in the past, when everyone paired off with each other ... I felt I was experiencing an new, pure, simple, and joyous way to exist with fellow humans - albeit it only seemed to work within the confines of the BKWSU, and only with some of them ... nevertheless it felt liberating and exhilarating.
I imagined a setup whereby we could each be close to several others, with strong bonds of love and friendship, provided each of us maintained a primary and stronger bond with God - we would each take love from God and share it with each other. There was no longer any place or role for jealousy or dependance, no place for fear of loss - God was not going anywhere, and God would never ditch any of us. I perceived the dawning of a beautiful New Age of love and friendship, shared joy and peace. But then the 'teachers' took me to the next stages. It emerged that there were other relationships which had to be renounced too - no more mother, no more Father, no more children, no more friends - all of these were apparently damaging and would take you away from God? Eh?
Well I was hanged if I was ditching my parents, especially as I had just reached a reconciliation with them after working out 40 years worths of accumulated differences... my new spiritual virtue-based perspective on life had enabled me to build bridges for the first time in my life - I was damned if I was going to blow up these brand new bridges. For the first time I started to seriously question what the BKs were telling me (over and over day after day, like dripping taps ...)
I had no children, so no issue there, but ditch my friends? Turn my back on the very people who had held me together my whole adult life, talking me through emotional nightmares, providing loving support and a great deal of entertainment - giving me shelter and feeding me when i was down on my luck... the list went on and on.. turn my back on these special people? Why?
"You are coloured by the company you keep"
So - should I turn my back on people who had been the practical embodiment of virtue towards me - through thick and thin - over many years - and through many experiences? OK so they sometimes drank alcohol, one or two even took mild recreational drugs at times, some of them ate meat ... maybe they would lead me back to carnivorous debauchery? Maybe their apparent virtue was a sham - maybe their loving friendship was a mask concealing sinister selfish motives? And maybe the cold aloofness, narrow mindedness, prudishness, and strict judgemental conservatism, of the BK people who were most vociferous in insisting I leave these friends behind, was also a sham concealing spiritual gems - loving and benevolent 'good company' ... maybe.. but I decided to stick with my friends.. better the devils you know ...
I had to find myself a compromise position - married to God, but not to the BKs - loyal to my old friends and to my family - I had to develop a split personality - a mask to wear when at the BK centre, where I was increasingly expected to turn out in conservative and immaculately pressed and spotlessly clean clothing, keeping quiet about the people I visited when away from the centre, so as to avoid arguments and conflict, and so as to avoid undue pressure being put on me to conform to the rigid dogma "no relationships of any sort, except Brother and Sister"
OK - so I was still allowed to have Brothers and Sisters... I had long seen my friends as Brothers and Sisters anyway... so the compromise was not too difficult ... but as time went on more restrictions became increasingly apparent. I was not allowed to touch my Brothers, far less my Sisters... no hugging - even handshakes were awkward and discouraged ... But what about all these old photographs of Brahma Baba and the original Brothers and Sisters all hugging each other? No sensible answers were provided... but just try hugging any BK and see the look of horror, revulsion, even fear on their face.... What was this all about????
Never mind - I could still hug my friends, my parents, my real Sisters, so never mind about the cardboard BK Sisters and Brothers.... Meanwhile God was telling me through the Murlis that I should love all my fellow men when "coming into relationship and connection with them"... so I proceeded to work on that aim, outwith the BKs.
The BK teachers revealed more strictures - it was 'inappropriate' for Brothers to eat at the same table as Sisters... 'innappropriate' to sleep in the same building... 'innappropriate to go for walks or outings together'...no wonder so many BKs were gay... I noticed with great relief that at BK command central in Madhuban, all of these 'innappropriate' activities were indulged in by the visiting BKs en mass.. clearly the rules were stricter in Britain (good old Victorian prudishness ...)
More new regulations appeared.. it was 'innappropriate' and 'wasteful' for Brothers and/or Sisters to have 'long conversations' ... Now hang on - wait a minute - I am not to have a discussion with my Brother or my Sister, not to show any form of affection (even spoken it seems), not to socialise with anyone in any circumstance... no friendship, no companionship, no meaningful interaction with other souls in any form whatsoever, or a jealous God would mark me down in my end of term exam ... Hang on a minute.... what am i doing here? Where's the door ...
Breathe deeply ... fresh air at last ... just as well i never ditched those friends eh? or my parents ... so I still have places to go, people to share the joys and experiences of life with other souls to touch and be touched by ... bliss. So beware - this is a cautionary tale - don't exchange your support network of friends and family for BK pie in the Golden Age. The BKs frown on friendship. They see companionship as a sin, affection as a weakness that should not be displayed in any circumstances ... theirs is a cold harsh inhuman place. Don't go there.