Hello everyone
I've been reading with interest some of the messages on this forum for a week or so and wanted to register and hopefully gain some insights from others about my experiences. Firstly, I apologise if I ask questions which have already been asked and processed elsewhere on the forum. There is a LOT of info here and it would not be possible for me to read or understand everything, especially with my impure degraded intellect .
My BK involvement began in the late 1980s and ended in 1992, about 4 years altogether I think and I did not get sucked in nearly as deeply as some of the other forum members. However, I now realise that my thinking, my responses to the world around me and to other people have been heavily influenced by what I was taught.
Today, as I sit typing this, I am okay. Life is not perfect but not unbearable either, my heart goes out to others who have posted messages here articulating their despair and how broken their lives have become as a result of their involvement with what I now regard as a dangerous mind-control cult. I can relate to all of what they say.
I have been through some desparate times, years of deep depression (including a suicide attempt in 1997) and have no real close friendships even now. I find it almost impossible to trust anyone or sustain relationships. I cannot lay all of this at the door of the Brahma Kumaris, of course; there was already a lot of damage in my life before my involvement with them began, and within a year of leaving I was embroiled in a relationship with a guy who turned out to be one of the most abusive and destructive human beings I have ever had the misfortune to know (this was my karma of course!!) This relationship ended in 1999 and I have been alone since.
Anyway, on to the point of my topic title ... In the last three or four years, I have been drawn to trying to renew my Christian faith. I was brought up nominally as a Christian (Catholic) but not a regular church attender and, amazingly, at the time my BK involvement began I had never read a proper grown up version of The Bible; just the children's Bibles I had as a kid.
I have had some immense struggles with this including paranoid thoughts and incidents when I have been so overcome with fear that I have fled from church services in floods of tears. This has led to prolonged periods of isolating myself from the church I attend and deciding that; it's all a load of bull, I shouldn't trust these people, they don't really know God anyway etc etc. I can now see that the teachings I received from the BKs was my only real experience of trying to follow a spiritual path and without realising it I was constantly comparing and making judgments like how can these people (Christians) believe they are in communion with God when they are eating meat, drinking alcohol etc.
During one of my self imposed exiles from the church, I renewed my BK involvement (bad move right??). Over the years I had sometimes seen posters advertising BK events and one day I saw one in my local shop window. I saw this as a sign from God that I should return to the true path, duly pitched up at this public event and subsequently attended several of their courses. On the whole, the experience left me cold and I did not get the "highs" that I had previously experienced in meditation.
During this period, however, I found myself spontaneously waking up at 4am and wondering whether, again this was God trying to tell me that the BK way was the right path. Well, to cut a long story short, my rational mind won the day, I stopped attending BK events and concentrated on trying to live a normal life but still their influence pervades my faith, my attempts to read the Bible, to pray.
My Christian friends talk about "spiritual attacks", i.e. the devil and other evil spiritual entities attempting to interfere with our attempts to follow God. I have always had difficulty with this thinking it's all a bit medieval, ideas about demonic possession etc but now find myself wondering about this in relation to my BK involvement.
I have seen elsewhere on the forum people discussing these issues and wonder if others have any comments about whether the BKs or whatever spirits control them (could it even be the biggest con artist of all, Satan himself?) are able to get inside people's heads and continue to influence them long after their actual involvement has ended? Sorry if this comes across as being a bit crackpot, I am just trying to make sense of things and would welcome any helpful comments.
I could go on and on but I am having some technical difficulties (more psychic interference? ) so perhaps that's enough for now.
Thank you to whoever set up this site
Lamby
I've been reading with interest some of the messages on this forum for a week or so and wanted to register and hopefully gain some insights from others about my experiences. Firstly, I apologise if I ask questions which have already been asked and processed elsewhere on the forum. There is a LOT of info here and it would not be possible for me to read or understand everything, especially with my impure degraded intellect .
My BK involvement began in the late 1980s and ended in 1992, about 4 years altogether I think and I did not get sucked in nearly as deeply as some of the other forum members. However, I now realise that my thinking, my responses to the world around me and to other people have been heavily influenced by what I was taught.
Today, as I sit typing this, I am okay. Life is not perfect but not unbearable either, my heart goes out to others who have posted messages here articulating their despair and how broken their lives have become as a result of their involvement with what I now regard as a dangerous mind-control cult. I can relate to all of what they say.
I have been through some desparate times, years of deep depression (including a suicide attempt in 1997) and have no real close friendships even now. I find it almost impossible to trust anyone or sustain relationships. I cannot lay all of this at the door of the Brahma Kumaris, of course; there was already a lot of damage in my life before my involvement with them began, and within a year of leaving I was embroiled in a relationship with a guy who turned out to be one of the most abusive and destructive human beings I have ever had the misfortune to know (this was my karma of course!!) This relationship ended in 1999 and I have been alone since.
Anyway, on to the point of my topic title ... In the last three or four years, I have been drawn to trying to renew my Christian faith. I was brought up nominally as a Christian (Catholic) but not a regular church attender and, amazingly, at the time my BK involvement began I had never read a proper grown up version of The Bible; just the children's Bibles I had as a kid.
I have had some immense struggles with this including paranoid thoughts and incidents when I have been so overcome with fear that I have fled from church services in floods of tears. This has led to prolonged periods of isolating myself from the church I attend and deciding that; it's all a load of bull, I shouldn't trust these people, they don't really know God anyway etc etc. I can now see that the teachings I received from the BKs was my only real experience of trying to follow a spiritual path and without realising it I was constantly comparing and making judgments like how can these people (Christians) believe they are in communion with God when they are eating meat, drinking alcohol etc.
During one of my self imposed exiles from the church, I renewed my BK involvement (bad move right??). Over the years I had sometimes seen posters advertising BK events and one day I saw one in my local shop window. I saw this as a sign from God that I should return to the true path, duly pitched up at this public event and subsequently attended several of their courses. On the whole, the experience left me cold and I did not get the "highs" that I had previously experienced in meditation.
During this period, however, I found myself spontaneously waking up at 4am and wondering whether, again this was God trying to tell me that the BK way was the right path. Well, to cut a long story short, my rational mind won the day, I stopped attending BK events and concentrated on trying to live a normal life but still their influence pervades my faith, my attempts to read the Bible, to pray.
My Christian friends talk about "spiritual attacks", i.e. the devil and other evil spiritual entities attempting to interfere with our attempts to follow God. I have always had difficulty with this thinking it's all a bit medieval, ideas about demonic possession etc but now find myself wondering about this in relation to my BK involvement.
I have seen elsewhere on the forum people discussing these issues and wonder if others have any comments about whether the BKs or whatever spirits control them (could it even be the biggest con artist of all, Satan himself?) are able to get inside people's heads and continue to influence them long after their actual involvement has ended? Sorry if this comes across as being a bit crackpot, I am just trying to make sense of things and would welcome any helpful comments.
I could go on and on but I am having some technical difficulties (more psychic interference? ) so perhaps that's enough for now.
Thank you to whoever set up this site
Lamby