- Posts: 7
- Joined: 30 Jan 2017
Hi Emily
Where are you - or rather where is she? How old is she? What's her background?
Although these things matter some and it would be helpful to know, but they are also sort of irrelevant. There is enough common experience across many cultures and demographics to give you some sort of answer that is common to most, if not all, BKs.
Basically what happens is that people go along to a BK program or to do their courses, usually advertised as ”positive thinking” or ”spiritual values”. They are introduced to a simple meditation technique which is, TBH, quite effective, especially for people for whom it is a first taste, or who otherwise don’t get much personal time or have never given themselves time to ”look within”. The calming effect can be quite pronounced in these cases.
The technique is fairly universal, basically simple, rhythmic affirmations about oneself in a mellow atmosphere. It makes one "feel good inside”. The loss leader, as it's called in supermarket marketing, or "the convincer” as its called by grifters and fraudsters, is that it is all offered for free. It gets people in and get's them trusting. They are treated kindly, respectfully and with generosity which is simultaneously sincere and has an ulterior motive. The BKs call it ”service” which, in blunt terms, means doing what is necessary to gain converts and new adherents. The sincerity comes because they believe it is in the person’s best interests to become a BK like them.
Then when the newbie attends more sessions, they are gradually introduced to increasingly more ”esoteric” teachings, less ”universal", things which identify the BKs as having distinct beliefs and identity. That sounds mysterious, spiritual, profound but, in fact, ”esoteric” just means "insider” with "teachings” that are so unusual they’d be rejected by ”outsiders”. They are usually kept hidden from those not ”prepared” in advance by previous softening up experiences.
Those who’ve been convinced up to this point, by the other things that have been pleasant and benign do, at this point, decide that these ”inner” teachings, which would previously have been considered nonsense, somehow now make complete sense. That is, people reach a point where they WANT it to make sense. They WANT to identify and to belong to this group. They then start to donate time, money, skills, to the group.
Then there is the revelation that all these nice people and good feelings in meditation and standards of cleanliness and soft speaking etc, all very nice, is actually based on direct teachings from God, the supreme. A god different enough to the god of childhood upbringing or older religions different enough that ”He” gives these experiences. (What those experiences actually are is another discussion).
No harm you might think, until it starts to impact family, friends, work, study etc And the teachings encourage increasing the obsession. They’ll mention ”balance” of family and work etc but that's paying lip service, a moderate use of language aimed at the "long game" of getting the person fully committed for the longer term.
It sounds hard to believe but, hey, I went through that, I believed it, so have most people on this forum! I spent years ”making efforts” to keep up the ‘highs’ of meditation experiences, to make it all make sense. And I was naive and idealistic.
There is a psychological dynamic of ”moral superiority” that acts as a boost to the ego (or self-esteem or whatever name you want to give it). The kind you find in over-the-top extreme ideologues - wowsers, god-botherers, socialists, do-gooders, vegans, and many other noble causes, i.e. the kind found in those for whom their beliefs and practices are not just what works for them but is apparently coming from a higher moral order that they need others to recognise as superior.
Let me clarify that last point. They may not go out to convince others, they may be shy or whatever. But they are telling themselves all the time that they belong to this group of higher moral order which "outsiders” just can’t understand. Their practices, diet, toilet, etc is based on ”moral superiority” and it's helping to have ”good Yoga”, i.e. to maintaining a ”high” from meditation. It's not about nutrition or health, although they’ll make arguments on those lines, e.g. ask this woman about the health benefits of say, garlic, and watch her response. (BKs hate garlic more than vampires do!).
The BK say they are a "spiritual university". But there is nothing you achieve and then move on. They want you to stay a student to bring more students too. A pyramid scheme. You are never finished nor completed your studies, until you are dead. And beyond - they believe it's karmic over many lifetimes - literally, not poetically or metaphorically.
There is more, of course, but I need to sign off and others can contribute.
All I can say to end is it will be like she’s an addict, and she won't change until she chooses to. One defintition of an addiction is that a person arranges their whole life around the addiction.
Logic and reason don’t work until she decides to be objectively logical and reasonable. It's emotionally driven, psychologically based. Most people’s logic is merely a rationalisation of deeper psycho-emotional desires/needs. Her "BK-ness” is a crutch that probably has helped but which she has been convinced is a permanent need ”in this lifetime”.
All the best, take care of yourself.
PP