- Posts: 4
- Joined: 08 Dec 2015
Hi,
About Me:
------------
I live in Europe and am of Indian origin by birth and born into a Hindu family. I am male, married for 12 years with a boy who is now 5 years old. I was not a believer in religion or god with reasoning and logic in my growing up, adolescent years. I was (still am) a firm believer in positive thoughts and positive energy.
My introduction to Brahmakumaris:
-------------------------------------------
About 2 years ago, at a time when I was carrying work-related stress, I was looking for ways to improve my focus and concentration when I discovered online a talk organized by Brahmakumari's about 'Handling Stress and Emotional healing ' which involved a guided voice meditation session, which I totally enjoyed.
From them on, I attended many more weekend talks and eventually signed up and completed two x 4-week courses,
----------------------------------------------------
I absolutely loved the above two courses, and started practicing Raja Yoga meditation, which helped me handle my stress better at work. It had a very positive impact on me.
After completing both of the above 4 week courses, I was invited to advanced courses to the center by the center head, where I was introduced to the bigger picture and was inducted into the BK way of life and practices to follow:
As I was always narrating my learnings to my wife, I could see her growing increasingly concerned, but I kept reassuring her, that that was unacceptable to me. However, at the same time, I was also asking questions to the center head, if it was OK to have a second baby and then start practicing celibacy? I was never told what to do, it was always, for me to choose.
Wanting more, to experience the next high:
-----------------------------------------------------
As I was already enjoying and seeing the newly found benefits of Raja Yoga meditation, I started feeling the connection during my meditation sessions. I became more aware of my feelings and my environment and emotions of my peers and my wife and felt a lot more in control.
I wanted to try.
So, I quickly adopted and practiced vegetarianism. [Note: At this point, my diet was already on a moderate-fat, high-protein, low-carb, zero sugar, a diet which included lots of meat in my daily diet and I was convinced this was the way going forward for health benefits and I was training in a gym and running etc. I was also not drinking a lot of alcohol, just a social drinker]
I then completely gave up drinking alcohol and turned vegetarian diet completely giving up onion and garlic very easily. Even here, I was still seeing these as positive things and as transformational.
I was also watching a lot of awakening youtube videos by Sister Jayanti and Sister Shivani. I must admit I enjoyed and saw a lot of truth in those videos, which were all concepts for living a better life and being in control of one's own emotions.
I, however, did not see any significant improvement or drastic change in my meditation sessions.
I then started considering celibacy to experience the heightened meditation. But I have to be honest, that my libido started coming down and my sexual thoughts or drive started coming down. At this point, I was however certain, it wasn't fair to my wife and that I would never become completely celibate, but I just wanted to try it out for a few months to experience if the meditation/connection would become better.
My wife started seeing these differences in me (no alcohol, vegetarian diet) and never subscribed to my learnings or positive experiences which I was achieving through my meditation. This used to frustrate me that she wasn't seeing the benefits.
My center head once invited my wife as well on the occasion of Raksha bandhan and on another occasion and tried to talk to her that this BK way of life was for families to practice together. But my wife was NOT for it, as she had her own belief system which is firm in its place and she is happy with it.
There were periods when we went without sex and I still did not see any big difference in my meditation sessions.
Moment of truth/fall-out:
---------------------------------
During this period, I was still continuing to question during my advance sessions, how much I wish to subscribe to? I was already happy how much I had learned and lived my life with meditation, having given up alcohol and totally enjoyed being vegetarian. I felt my body was just much lighter and I felt like I was always on high-energy.
Not sure if I would call it a fall-out, but there came an occasion when a senior Dadi was visiting in London and I was invited to go amongst one of the few BKs to go to visit. When it came to booking train/flight tickets and sorting accommodation, I was told I could be accommodated in the center only if I followed the BK ways (daily Murli reading, vegetarianism, and celibacy) and I pointed out that I was still not practicing celibacy, so we agreed I would find my own accommodation and then still work-out how to meet the senior Dadi.
Later they dropped me as it would be extremely difficult to coordinate me meting the Dadi as it wouldn't be planned, which I was OK with.
Slowly after we agreed I had enough learning to be on my own and did not need the advance sessions anymore. This was mutual and I would still be in touch going to occasional talks and sessions to the center.
Current status:
------------------
Slowly I got back to eating non-veg as it was getting difficult with family get-to-gathers and even just my wife and son to sit down for a meal. And slowly I fell off the daily meditation and back to being stressed at work etc. Also not being disciplined about eating and drinking and not training, but giving into emotional and careless eating and gaining weight etc. It feels like I am back to the life before I discovered brahmakumaris.
What next?
-------------
I still want to practice Raja Yoga meditation and get back to having control and having a positive outlook and not let work stress and day to day stuff get the better of me. I then explored mindfulness, (just watching youtube videos) which worked great for some time.
Questions:
-------------
Cheers,
OR
ps: Sorry for the rather long post, but I felt the need to give the full context.
About Me:
------------
I live in Europe and am of Indian origin by birth and born into a Hindu family. I am male, married for 12 years with a boy who is now 5 years old. I was not a believer in religion or god with reasoning and logic in my growing up, adolescent years. I was (still am) a firm believer in positive thoughts and positive energy.
My introduction to Brahmakumaris:
-------------------------------------------
About 2 years ago, at a time when I was carrying work-related stress, I was looking for ways to improve my focus and concentration when I discovered online a talk organized by Brahmakumari's about 'Handling Stress and Emotional healing ' which involved a guided voice meditation session, which I totally enjoyed.
From them on, I attended many more weekend talks and eventually signed up and completed two x 4-week courses,
- 1. Power of positive thinking.
2. Raja Yoga meditation.
----------------------------------------------------
I absolutely loved the above two courses, and started practicing Raja Yoga meditation, which helped me handle my stress better at work. It had a very positive impact on me.
After completing both of the above 4 week courses, I was invited to advanced courses to the center by the center head, where I was introduced to the bigger picture and was inducted into the BK way of life and practices to follow:
- * Abstain from drinking alcohol.
* Vegetarianism - Should not eat onions and garlic.
* Celibacy - At this point, we were and still are planning on having a 2nd baby.
* Reading the daily Murli
* Visiting the center at least once a week
As I was always narrating my learnings to my wife, I could see her growing increasingly concerned, but I kept reassuring her, that that was unacceptable to me. However, at the same time, I was also asking questions to the center head, if it was OK to have a second baby and then start practicing celibacy? I was never told what to do, it was always, for me to choose.
Wanting more, to experience the next high:
-----------------------------------------------------
As I was already enjoying and seeing the newly found benefits of Raja Yoga meditation, I started feeling the connection during my meditation sessions. I became more aware of my feelings and my environment and emotions of my peers and my wife and felt a lot more in control.
I wanted to try.
So, I quickly adopted and practiced vegetarianism. [Note: At this point, my diet was already on a moderate-fat, high-protein, low-carb, zero sugar, a diet which included lots of meat in my daily diet and I was convinced this was the way going forward for health benefits and I was training in a gym and running etc. I was also not drinking a lot of alcohol, just a social drinker]
I then completely gave up drinking alcohol and turned vegetarian diet completely giving up onion and garlic very easily. Even here, I was still seeing these as positive things and as transformational.
I was also watching a lot of awakening youtube videos by Sister Jayanti and Sister Shivani. I must admit I enjoyed and saw a lot of truth in those videos, which were all concepts for living a better life and being in control of one's own emotions.
I, however, did not see any significant improvement or drastic change in my meditation sessions.
I then started considering celibacy to experience the heightened meditation. But I have to be honest, that my libido started coming down and my sexual thoughts or drive started coming down. At this point, I was however certain, it wasn't fair to my wife and that I would never become completely celibate, but I just wanted to try it out for a few months to experience if the meditation/connection would become better.
My wife started seeing these differences in me (no alcohol, vegetarian diet) and never subscribed to my learnings or positive experiences which I was achieving through my meditation. This used to frustrate me that she wasn't seeing the benefits.
My center head once invited my wife as well on the occasion of Raksha bandhan and on another occasion and tried to talk to her that this BK way of life was for families to practice together. But my wife was NOT for it, as she had her own belief system which is firm in its place and she is happy with it.
There were periods when we went without sex and I still did not see any big difference in my meditation sessions.
Moment of truth/fall-out:
---------------------------------
During this period, I was still continuing to question during my advance sessions, how much I wish to subscribe to? I was already happy how much I had learned and lived my life with meditation, having given up alcohol and totally enjoyed being vegetarian. I felt my body was just much lighter and I felt like I was always on high-energy.
Not sure if I would call it a fall-out, but there came an occasion when a senior Dadi was visiting in London and I was invited to go amongst one of the few BKs to go to visit. When it came to booking train/flight tickets and sorting accommodation, I was told I could be accommodated in the center only if I followed the BK ways (daily Murli reading, vegetarianism, and celibacy) and I pointed out that I was still not practicing celibacy, so we agreed I would find my own accommodation and then still work-out how to meet the senior Dadi.
Later they dropped me as it would be extremely difficult to coordinate me meting the Dadi as it wouldn't be planned, which I was OK with.
Slowly after we agreed I had enough learning to be on my own and did not need the advance sessions anymore. This was mutual and I would still be in touch going to occasional talks and sessions to the center.
Current status:
------------------
Slowly I got back to eating non-veg as it was getting difficult with family get-to-gathers and even just my wife and son to sit down for a meal. And slowly I fell off the daily meditation and back to being stressed at work etc. Also not being disciplined about eating and drinking and not training, but giving into emotional and careless eating and gaining weight etc. It feels like I am back to the life before I discovered brahmakumaris.
What next?
-------------
I still want to practice Raja Yoga meditation and get back to having control and having a positive outlook and not let work stress and day to day stuff get the better of me. I then explored mindfulness, (just watching youtube videos) which worked great for some time.
Questions:
-------------
- So what is the better alternative?
Can I just continue to start and practice Raja Yoga meditation from what I have learned?
Can I continue to watch youtube videos of Sister Jayanti and Sister Shivani to be in touch?
whilst not subscribing to vegetarianism or celibacy?
Cheers,
OR
ps: Sorry for the rather long post, but I felt the need to give the full context.