I enjoyed reading your personal experiences Mattheus, much more than the borrowed speculations you’ve posted. They have the authority of experience, and some interesting ideas and observations. Mattheus, were you in Berlin in early 1985, black hair, a bit of an artist? If so, I met you a couple of times.
To your post: For many of us who become BKs, the BK ‘jargon’ is our first vocabulary for exploring spiritual ideas and it is often hard , especially if we stay usign it as our only vocabulary, to see beyond it.
Anyone who is bi-lingual usually knows that the language used affects the understanding. It seems you are exploring where the ‘language’ of BKs doesn't sit the same within as what you have been told.
The first creation of Shiva is to create Brahma Vishnu Shankar,
Further, if you explore some of this site’s archives and other posts, you will find solid evidence that Shiva in BK history came much later, a creation of Dada Lekhraj (Brahma) probably with the help of Mumma and others, as the yugya went through upheaval.
All the predictions of Prajapati God Brahma (which is who Lekhraj thought he was) failed. And the money was running out. And Partition happened. And they were facing court cases and local social ostracism and scandals. So they moved to Abu. The first mention we find of Shiva is around 1955. The Hindu Trimurti is Brahma Vishnu Shiva, and Shankar is but one manifestation of Shiva. The first pictures, show all three with Brahma’s face.
What this is all exploring is the power of ideas, the power of Metaphor and Symbols. But BKs teach this is all literally true (when it suits them) symbolic (when it suits them) and irrelevant (when it suits them).
In other words, the BK Gyan has grown less and less definite as their teachings prove to be less and less absolute. Go well on your own journey. You may come to understand, as i have, that the soul is even less than 0.