Left BK after 10 years ... !

Hello guys,

I am extremely greatful to this forum and old members like ex-l, Mr Green and Pink Panther for their comments and involvement here.

I joined BK at the age of 16 after I lost my Father. I felt very special and cared for during the initial period, aka the honeymoon phase. But then I saw many many instances of ugliness, anger, ego and sadness in my local centre then forcing me to introspective my decision. I saw senior members leave, surrendered Sisters leave and getting married, and many other instances of ugliness.

After 2 years of indecision, I finally made the decision to leave this organisation and lead a normal life.

Now I am married with a kid and very happy about my decision.

Please feel free to ask me questions.

Thanks a lot guys.

Now I am married with a kid and very happy about my decision.

Please feel free to ask me questions.

Why did not you invite us to the wedding? No cake even? How could you be so heartless!

Congratulations, it's a big thing that you've done. It's not easy and it still requires a lot of strength and mental clarity to exit the BKs' orbit and plot your own course. Something we've discovered is that your experience is quite common, ie they manage or even aim to hook people soon after some traumatic experience.

Something I would ask you to do (and, BTW, I recommend people to *not* stick around here and move on, unless they really feel they have to do something about the BKs), please document your experiences, the crap you saw.

You don't have to name names or places. It is not "gossip" or "negativity". It is reality and acknowledging reality is a very positive thing, and protective of others.

I've always argued that BK "service" - and the millions they invest into it - is 99% just PR (public relations). It's not "service" at all, it's just self-advertising and promotion. They have invested heavily in creating a PR facade and, in my experience, do not welcome discussion of the problems within. Therefore outsiders have a false impression of them that they hide behind and use to their advantage.

Hi there Finally Free,

Good on you for making a conscious decision and acting on it straightforwardly. A sign of real intelligence. Two years of indecision is not a long time when it comes to ridding yourself of the BK conditioning.

Too many of us hang around on the fringes for ages equivocating, telling ourselves all kinds of stories so as not to acknowledge we had been mistaken, we were wrong. Bad businessmen don't know when to cut their losses, investing more into a hopeless cause hoping it will turn around. You saw things as they were and got out.

There is no lovelier thing, nothing more 'spiritual', than a loving marriage and a healthy child. You have created a great fortune for yourself and, I am sure, for your wife and child too. This ‘love in action’, especially for the next generations, is what creates a better world.

All the best to you.

Hello Finally Free,

Best Wishes on the path you have chosen, should say at the right time in your life!

For the benefit of others, who come to this forum to seek/provide advice/suggestions/feedback,

1. Based on your age as inferred from your post), was your struggle more towards "to marry or not"
2. In your 10 years with the BKs, what are the type of conflicts have you seen or faced
3. Also what made you stick around for this long period.

Again, I am asking this to understand any common themes that can be useful to others or to bring out pattern of iisues in Centres, not to get into your personal life.

Thank you

I initially found great benefit with Raja Yoga and the Gyan. I got a lot of support and strength going through difficult events in my life on this path.

After 15 years, I found myself moving on from BK life. Many thanks to this website for showing me the flaws, ugliness of the Yagya and allowing me to see that it is, in fact, a cult.

I never believed that I could be brainwashed and indoctrinated into cult, and yet it happened. Constantly being told that the outside world believes us to be a cult but we are in fact not certainly did its trick.

Following a pukka BK lifestyle is demanding enough with a full-time job. Seva should be something you freely offer rather being imposed on you. I saw that there are those that do seva and those that do very little. Those that do just get burdened with more and more. I've heard of a number of Kumaris suffering from breakdowns and burnouts.

After many years on the BK path, things begin to breakdown for me. Lack of sleep, more demanding work life, stress and endless seva meant that Yoga gave little benefit. I used to love churning Gyan and it used to really uplift me, but with so many seva tasks to do life was just dull with just the promise of a happier next life to look forward to.

This is when I began looking for others who felt as I did. We were told about this website a number of years ago and to stay away from it. It became prominent in google searches for the Brahma Kumaris and many newcomers or people making enquiries were put off. Reading the forums and making contact with the team helped me see things in a new light and made me question certain things that I would ignore/downplay.

In summary:

I've stepped away from BK life, gotten married and am happier than I've been in a long, long time.

I've stepped away from BK life, gotten married and am happier than I've been in a long, long time.

Wow. Congratulations ... but why weren't we invited to the wedding?

Oh, BTW, once you are back from work, do you mind driving me to the airport, cleaning my house ... erm, I mean the centre ... there's some redecoration to do because we have a VIP coming, then leafleting for our next event. I'll leave you some newcomers to teach the course too, then if you can pick me back up from the airport when I come back from holiday, ... erm, I mean doing service ... in Bali, prepare the hall for me to come and speak in, and you'll be able to earn multi-million fold good karma for so.

And, no, there's no petrol money ... your wallet is Baba's wallet! (I was once actually told that).

Hi ex-l,

All you've stated is so true. Let's not forget serving without a break, getting dehydrated and skipping meals. It does take a toll on the body. Receiving a toli at the end of the day for your efforts was nice, but it did not restore one's health.

The service I loved the most was:

"could you take this large heavy suitcase packed with unknown items to Madhuban with you?"

It would be a simple case, ie a non trolley version that you had to lift, navigate public transport with, and then drag under heat of India.

And just remembering Baba won't get it past the customs officers.

Nothing new, it happened last Kalpa and I got through it, I will get through it again, svarg is just ahead of me now ...

"could you take this large heavy suitcase packed with unknown items to Madhuban with you?"

What was in your suitcase, did you ever look?

For the trust few, bags of 'cash-cash' was part of the courier run.

I don't know if the changes to Indian tax/charity law has made a different to the BKs (I know it made some). I 100% expect they are likely to still try to circumvent and break any financial law. And I know India always had a generous attitude towards the Desi diaspora bring back foreign currency ...

But those tucks and rolls in their saris have been well used, and certainly not just for smuggling "jewels of knowledge" around.

One of the more blatant transactions we heard of was where a private property was sold in one country, and the money for it came out of the BKWSU in a different country. I think it was India and the UK.

My first guess would be it was clearly some kind of tax avoidancy, possibly capital gains, or possible just transaction fees for moving such large amounts of money ... or perhaps the property had been bought by black money in the first place ... I do not know.

But it did sound like money laundering of some kind. We need more data.

Ditto, there were similar deals with Desi BKs in Silicon Valley. We've got evidence of BK Hansa Raval filling bogus immigration applications for high paid software workers who she claimed were working as "priests in the community".

I wonder what the BKs got out of their then $50,000 per year as a commission for getting them into the USA?

Of course, the Indian Sisters they trafficked about, with and without proper visas, tend just to be complicit unpaid servants.

But, as you say, "anything goes if you just remember Baba while you do it".

And, if it does not ... well, "that's your karma".

One of the more blatant transactions we heard of was where a private property was sold in one country, and the money for it came out of the BKWSU in a different country. I think it was India and the UK.

My first guess would be it was clearly some kind of tax avoidancy, possibly capital gains, or possible just transaction fees for moving such large amounts of money ... or perhaps the property had been bought by black money in the first place ... I do not know.

I don't know of the specific case either but could hazard a guess or three.

The way to do it would be to gift property title to the registered charity who sell the property and pay less or no tax, transfer the money to O/S charity office who can then ‘gift’ it back to original owner, probably for a "reasonable handling fee"?