XBK Chat (unofficial archive)

guest--catlady · Guest

I've also been involved in a relationship with a XBK. It was he who introduced me to this forum. So far I have simply been a visitor, reading the posts and hoping to learn more about my friend.

Like you, Teresa, I did not share the specifics of his beliefs, but did not find them to much of a problem, since my own beliefs have evolved to a somewhat unique level. I think that my more secular humanist/universalist views were quite compatible with his XBK views on most issues.

As some of the other posters have commented, the BK views on sexuality and sensuality can certainly compound the confusion a BK or XBK feels in entering into a relationship with another person. As that entered into our relationship, he appeared to very much enjoy it, as did I, though then would say he had "issues" and pull back. Confused

That has been hard for me to deal with, even though I have been celibate (and chaste) for most of my life. It seems similar to what I have seen with some former Catholic clergy, in that both groups feel that physical sexuality is contrary to god's wishes, so one must choose between god and a partner. From my perspective, the pleasure of physical sex for both partners is a gift from god. Very Happy

Though I don't think this is the only issue, it is certainly a significant one, and I am unsure of the future of our relationship. I do wish you the best in your relationship, and several other members have managed to develop long term relationships.

Catlady

guest · Guest

I wonder if BKs or XBks have any concern for the feelings of those they consider outsiders?? Or is it more like outsiders are simply to be used with no consideration of their feelings? I think this is what happened in my relationship with one. It is now over, I am glad of that, and now must heal.