XBK Chat (unofficial archive)

Teresa · Joined: 27 Jan 2005 Posts: 9

where to start !!
been married now for only 4 months, knew that he was in to bk, in the year before we got married he went to 6 meetings, so not a prob not into it in a big way,, just after xmas he become very withdrawn, moody we had a bad row one night when he said some very hurtful things to me, so next morning he go to meditaion at 6am, came back a differnt person, I cant forget what he said but can forgve, since then he has been going more and more, mornings n evenings,, I went to one with him,, only a samll meditating class, but after sitting in silence for 45 mins, one bk seemed to put me on the spot, asking why icame ? if i was happy with my life ? did i know who i was, how life could be so much better for me etc etc, I said i am happy only came for my husband, certainly wont be going again !!
he says he loves me, but i dont feel loved anymore, feel that he led me into false pretences..

Tete · Joined: 26 Jan 2005 Posts: 169

Teresa,

In my opinion the BKs are not family first, they insist on celibacy, not having children and not building a financial future as the end of the world in near (new destruction 2006). Also, ask to have a talk and see if he plans on being celibate during the marriage? Big question, get it in writing!

I had to look you up (prior posts to remember you as you haven't been here recently). I hope it goes well for you.

Where is that Ex-London guy when we need him! Paging Ex-L!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Read his post to WC and maybe if we pray real hard he might see fit to visit and give us his thoughts on the subject.

Regards,

Tete

P.S. Does he have a BK ring? Does he have a wedding ring?

Teresa · Joined: 27 Jan 2005 Posts: 9

thank you for your reply have asked him when I first found out if he was to become celibate, he said no, but how would i feel, i said that sex is a very important part of relatioship in my view... so if that was case well !!!
I have my family so do not want children anyway so thats not issue, just feel totally pushed away, after last nights meeting I was the one that was made to feel an outsider, like i was a naughty kid a school,, dont like feeling like that..

as for the bk ring no he doestn wear one and yes he has a wedding ring..

thanks teresa

Tete · Joined: 26 Jan 2005 Posts: 169

Teresa,

Did he ever get the ring? Is the ring in the house? If he is still going to the centers and has the ring in the house you have a problem. Honestly, do read Ex-London's reply to WC or just look up his posts. Funny reading as he is a bit of a story teller and quite a hoot. I do believe he even suggests some reading material!

In the mean time write yourself a letter today before you get lost. If you begin to feel out of sorts, pull the letter out and read it. A message in a bottle to yourself for the day you need it. Keep telling (affirming) yourself you are wonderful, beautiful and smart. Don't let them BK organization break you.

Read posts to him from the ones that have left.

Regards,

Tete

Teresa · Joined: 27 Jan 2005 Posts: 9

Thanks Tete,
It is hard feel brow beaten, but at some time am a strong person with a lot of firends n family, my idea of enjoyment is going down local having good old gossip with them, chatting non stop bout anything n everything,, in general having good laugh..
dont get me wrong i do enjoy romantic nights with my husband, which im supposed to be doing tomorrow night, although my heart not in it, will go ahead,, I am a great talker so i would get nothing out of sitting in quiet, trying to find my inner self,, I have enough with keeping my outer one in trim LOL !!!

As for the ring he has never mentioned it, i have never heard anything bout it til you mentioned it, as far as i know he doesnt own one, i have never seen it put it that way !!!

have started reading posts of london, although not had to much time today as in work,, will try to read through them...

Teresa

bansy · Joined: 08 Nov 2005 Posts: 84

Teresa
What you did by attending the meeting was good. However, don't let anyone get at you or get in your way, BK or non BK.
Don't let your love be hurt by anything around you, including even your partner (applies to friends, family, colleagues, pets, etc). It will be them who are missing out on you. Let who and what you want into your life, the rest can go into the bin. Razz

zhukov · Joined: 10 Apr 2004 Posts: 86

whitecandy · Joined: 28 Nov 2005 Posts: 10 Location: Singapore

Tete · Joined: 26 Jan 2005 Posts: 169

WC,

Please read Gyaniwasi's full post in Hopefully objective with the passage of time as it is a classic and explains many things that you will need. He truly did a very touching explanation and Howie did a good explanation too.

Gyanawasi,