tara wrote:Am I thinking toooo much?
Am I having waisting thought?
What is going on ... ?
Hi Tara,
... welcome aboard the 'Pirate Ship of Freethinking BK' types.
Its the holiday season and so replies might be only a few at this time as folks go back home and deal with family matters.
What is going on? Well, if I dare suggest, the Intoxication of the Honeymoon Period is or has worn off and you are starting to see how things really are. No longer the baby of the family, the baby talk does not have the same effect any more and you are starting to, rightfully, want more or to go further. The mothers gave you their love in the 'days of your childhood'. Now you have grown up.
I am sorry to say that probably all of us on this forum have been given lots of attention and encouragement and told that "the last go fast" to make up for missing out on the early period. Perhaps they have even suggested that you were a BK in your last birth? Its usual.
Is it the End of the World? No, it is just the start. And now you start to make yourself. congratulations for having the courage and independence to come onto this forum and start to face a bigger part of the truth.
Keep thinking, even keeping a diary is still a good things at this point, dig deep and start asking questions. Many BKs or BK types use this forum as a sort of online diary. You will discover more about the BKWSU, or at least the leadership of the BKWSU, by their response to informed questioning that you have learned in morning class to date.
Those were the ingredients on the back of the packet, the advertising ... from here on in, it is the actual contents of the box you are dealing with. There is plenty of room inside or outside of the box for you to make yourself, and remake the BKWSU ... if you so chose. No, you are not alone in having reached the point you have.
My suggestion is you start by reading over the BKWSU History section of the forum and asking why the version the BKWSU teaches does not match reality, why they hid and covered up the real story of the Yagya and other actors, why they keep hidden and re-write the Murlis. You will see original documents from the 30s and 40s the BKWSU kept hidden and told no one about.
Believe in your intuitions if you feel you are being used or abused. Keep talking and tell us how things are. May be you can start a topic in the Newcomers forum to introduce yourself.