Not sure if I should put this on newcombers section but anyway (and I apologise for spelling mistakes too). Or maybe it should go in ex-BKs? Oh dear, still navigating my round the forum and working out what goes where!
I am in a bit of a no man's land. In spite of genuine intellectual problems with certain of the teachings, my own experience was positive. In fact, it kept me going where other religions/spirituality had failed. I had powerful meditations and especially during Amrit Vela. My meditations seemed more 'powerful' after a weekend in London where I received drishti from Dadi Janki (or in fact if I was ever in the presence of the senior Sisters) or if I listened to a CD of Sister Jayanti.
I also experienced amazing 'vibrations' after eating food that was served at the BK centre, and before the very first transmission I ever attended where by Baba 'communicated via Dadi Galzar', I also had an overwhelming sense of peace and a divine presence. I was willing to put all other matters aside, i.e personality clashes, or minor inner conflicts regarding certain details of the teachings historically or morally. All I had to go on was my experience.
However there was a point where I just 'knew' in my heart that that was not God. It was not God's voice in the morning Murlis and it was not God communicating through Dadi Galzar. No matter how much I tried or how much I was willing to admit that I was just not pure enough, of a higher consciousness, bad karma etc etc. I just did and do not believe that the Murli is God's word. I used to turn up regularly every morning and I just hoped to hear something that would take me into the day or inspire me or allow me to approach the day with wisdom and humility. Instead I just heard repetition and a degree of criticism.
Of course I was told that I was not 'hearing' the message because my consciouness was not raised enough. I was practically living at the centre at this point. So I felt like a fraud and I left.
What I want to know is, if I don't believe the Murli is God, then surely I cannot believe Amrit Vela, connecting with god in meditation, The Cycle etc etc. Can I have my cake and eat it? The fact is, this is the first time I have ever 'experienced' God, and yet the Murlis do not resonate with me on any level whatsoever.
Can I accept the teachings if I do not believe the Murli is from God, or that the communication on Mount Abu through Dadi Galzar is God either? If I don't believe that, should I just forget the whole thing and move on?
Thanks, Sarah
I am in a bit of a no man's land. In spite of genuine intellectual problems with certain of the teachings, my own experience was positive. In fact, it kept me going where other religions/spirituality had failed. I had powerful meditations and especially during Amrit Vela. My meditations seemed more 'powerful' after a weekend in London where I received drishti from Dadi Janki (or in fact if I was ever in the presence of the senior Sisters) or if I listened to a CD of Sister Jayanti.
I also experienced amazing 'vibrations' after eating food that was served at the BK centre, and before the very first transmission I ever attended where by Baba 'communicated via Dadi Galzar', I also had an overwhelming sense of peace and a divine presence. I was willing to put all other matters aside, i.e personality clashes, or minor inner conflicts regarding certain details of the teachings historically or morally. All I had to go on was my experience.
However there was a point where I just 'knew' in my heart that that was not God. It was not God's voice in the morning Murlis and it was not God communicating through Dadi Galzar. No matter how much I tried or how much I was willing to admit that I was just not pure enough, of a higher consciousness, bad karma etc etc. I just did and do not believe that the Murli is God's word. I used to turn up regularly every morning and I just hoped to hear something that would take me into the day or inspire me or allow me to approach the day with wisdom and humility. Instead I just heard repetition and a degree of criticism.
Of course I was told that I was not 'hearing' the message because my consciouness was not raised enough. I was practically living at the centre at this point. So I felt like a fraud and I left.
What I want to know is, if I don't believe the Murli is God, then surely I cannot believe Amrit Vela, connecting with god in meditation, The Cycle etc etc. Can I have my cake and eat it? The fact is, this is the first time I have ever 'experienced' God, and yet the Murlis do not resonate with me on any level whatsoever.
Can I accept the teachings if I do not believe the Murli is from God, or that the communication on Mount Abu through Dadi Galzar is God either? If I don't believe that, should I just forget the whole thing and move on?
Thanks, Sarah