I was in love with God prior to joining BK, I have loved God since I was a little child. I was not raised that way by my family, so I trust that my opinion and feeling toward God are personal. I always considered God to be a gentle, loving and silent observer and companion. I never had any feelings of fear toward God.
In BK life, the way God was initially presented to me was very much in line with my own thoughts and feelings. The deeper I got in to BK, the more I found what they presented as God did not match my own experience. On meeting the one they claim to be God, I was forced to accept I did not agree with BK understanding of who God is. I was fortunate enough to get to be face to face with their God on stage in Madhuban and, on looking in to those eyes staring back at me, there was no doubt in my mind that was not God. I could see it was not Dadi Gulzar at that time. It was quite clearly not her in her body, someone else was in there but that someone was not the God of my understanding. I am glad I had that experience. It was disturbing and upsetting at the time but at least it made it clear to me that my doubts about Murlis were valid. Had I got so up close to that one earlier, I probably would have left sooner than i did.
After I left my personal love of God remained with me. I think that it is very personal and the God of my understanding would not hold it against anyone should they be an atheist. Any one claiming that God demands I fear God and unquestioningly obey their doctrines is clearly representing a false God in my opinion.
I think you should follow your heart and not worry about it too much. I think love is something that evolves naturally if and when it is the right time even when that love involves God. Many people consider God to be love and love to be God in which case there is no danger on you missing out, as if you have any love in you then God would be present in your life. It is my belief that God does not mind if we believe in God or not and will not love us any more or less one way or other.